jo_s
Aug 30, 2006, 09:02 PM
I'm writing with the hope that someone can give me advice as to what I can do... :confused:
I'm 25, married to my husband of 4 years. We have 3 preschool daughters and on the exterior everything looks rosy :)
My problem is that I haven't had an orgasm with my husband in coming up to 18 months. This is not because I can't orgasm through sex; I can and have done many times in the past. The way I would describe my position in our marriage is ( and I realise how crude this is so I apologise in advance ) is as A Hole, and nothing more. I seem to exist simply in this capacity for my husband to reach orgasm. Once he's finished, that's it, tough luck for me. He makes no attempt at foreplay. I have tried to remedy the problem and be pro-active about this as I thought perhaps it is my fault, I eat well and exercise and keep my body in great condition, I've tried dressing up, being the one to instigate foreplay and give him treats, I've given him tips and hints and blatant "this is where it feels nice" cheerleading, but he gives up way too soon and I just feel... well... absolutely neglected.
We've had numerous discussions that turn quickly into fights because I'm trying to make him understand that I feel quite hurt by his apparent lack of concern for this problem; then he gets on the defence and accuses me of not giving him compliments enough - which in all honesty is true - I should compliment him on his appearance more - but is that a reason to withhold my having an orgasm for a year and a half?
It's gotten to the point where I'm wondering if this is my life at 25, am I doomed to a marriage where all I am is his walking talking blow up doll? I know it's a silly thing to get me so down but I can't understand his mentality - I would feel devastated and would want to remedy the situation if HE hadn't come in that long - in fact I would never have let it get to that point.
Help...
Thanks, love jo xx
I'm 25, married to my husband of 4 years. We have 3 preschool daughters and on the exterior everything looks rosy :)
My problem is that I haven't had an orgasm with my husband in coming up to 18 months. This is not because I can't orgasm through sex; I can and have done many times in the past. The way I would describe my position in our marriage is ( and I realise how crude this is so I apologise in advance ) is as A Hole, and nothing more. I seem to exist simply in this capacity for my husband to reach orgasm. Once he's finished, that's it, tough luck for me. He makes no attempt at foreplay. I have tried to remedy the problem and be pro-active about this as I thought perhaps it is my fault, I eat well and exercise and keep my body in great condition, I've tried dressing up, being the one to instigate foreplay and give him treats, I've given him tips and hints and blatant "this is where it feels nice" cheerleading, but he gives up way too soon and I just feel... well... absolutely neglected.
We've had numerous discussions that turn quickly into fights because I'm trying to make him understand that I feel quite hurt by his apparent lack of concern for this problem; then he gets on the defence and accuses me of not giving him compliments enough - which in all honesty is true - I should compliment him on his appearance more - but is that a reason to withhold my having an orgasm for a year and a half?
It's gotten to the point where I'm wondering if this is my life at 25, am I doomed to a marriage where all I am is his walking talking blow up doll? I know it's a silly thing to get me so down but I can't understand his mentality - I would feel devastated and would want to remedy the situation if HE hadn't come in that long - in fact I would never have let it get to that point.
Help...
Thanks, love jo xx