leila37
Mar 14, 2009, 02:11 PM
I am a junior in high school and I want to get married with someone from overseas. We want to marry there, not in the u.s. since most of the family lives there.I am a Muslim girl and my parents are divorced. My stepdad is pakistani and the guy whom I want to marry is his nephew. My dad is in the army and is Christian. I didn't tell my dad that I'm Muslim for fear that he will disown me. My grandfather did that to my mother when she became muslim. Every time I would visit my dad, I would lock my door to pray so he wouldn't see me. I have kept many secrets, and now they are simply crashing down. The man I want to marry lives in pakistan as a civil engineer. We really love each other, and I hoped to marry after I sorted things with my dad and introduced him to moon, the guy I want to marry.everyone in the family knows about us and acouple of friends, except my dad. All he knows is that a cousin from pakistanis chasing after me, and I want to keep it that way until the right time. He simply laughed.
This was my plan for the future until now:
1.graduate high school and try to keep my gpa up to get into a private tech college
2.at the beginning of college, tell my dad that I'm muslim and give him time to adjust
3.tell him I want to marry moon, and have to try to get my dad to like him.
4.apply moon for marriage visa after we marry in pakistan.
5.I was told marriage visa takes 6 months to process, so I'll wait until then.
But now, moon wants to get engaged now. Many other muslim girls I know are engaged at my age, but its easier for them. They aren't keeping their religion secret from their father. But if I get engaged now, I will have to tell my dad that I'm muslim and then immediately tell him I want to get engaged to my stepfather's nephew, and he knows that I hate my stepdad.he will think I'm being forced into islam and getting married. It will be too much for him all at once. He will say no immediately and moon, being a sensative guy, will be devastated, and so will I.
I'm not ready for all this big decision-making right now. I'm stressing sbout my exams and grades and I just took my act, mme, and workkeys exams. My grades are horrible this year.
I just don't know if I'm ready to go on with this. I really love him, and I really think this is the right thing to do. But now that he wants to engage now, I'm not sure if I'm ready. If I'm ready to face my dad and make him accept us.
OK, here are the two main questions:
1.should I get engaged now and having to convince my dad to accept me as muslim and to accept me marrying a guy from my stepdad's family, knowing I hate my stepdad with all my heart?right in my junior year where I'm trying to survive my grades and suffering depression(oh, forgot to mention that.)
2.we intend to marry in pakistan and apply moon for marriage visa afterwards. But with all this mess about 9/11, all pakistanis are on the terrorist list and I fear they may not let him in or make him have to wait for many years. And also, the marriage visas I read up on, you have to marry in the u.s.. We want to marry in pakistan.a little advice on this issue would help.
And I DO NOT want to live over there. I will not be stuck in a house cooking and cleaning and being a slave in my own household. No offense, my stepdads family is pretty traditional.moon understands that and promises not to suffocate me, his father being pretty narrow-minded too.
PLEEAAASSSSE HELP ME! Ireally need advice on this issue
This was my plan for the future until now:
1.graduate high school and try to keep my gpa up to get into a private tech college
2.at the beginning of college, tell my dad that I'm muslim and give him time to adjust
3.tell him I want to marry moon, and have to try to get my dad to like him.
4.apply moon for marriage visa after we marry in pakistan.
5.I was told marriage visa takes 6 months to process, so I'll wait until then.
But now, moon wants to get engaged now. Many other muslim girls I know are engaged at my age, but its easier for them. They aren't keeping their religion secret from their father. But if I get engaged now, I will have to tell my dad that I'm muslim and then immediately tell him I want to get engaged to my stepfather's nephew, and he knows that I hate my stepdad.he will think I'm being forced into islam and getting married. It will be too much for him all at once. He will say no immediately and moon, being a sensative guy, will be devastated, and so will I.
I'm not ready for all this big decision-making right now. I'm stressing sbout my exams and grades and I just took my act, mme, and workkeys exams. My grades are horrible this year.
I just don't know if I'm ready to go on with this. I really love him, and I really think this is the right thing to do. But now that he wants to engage now, I'm not sure if I'm ready. If I'm ready to face my dad and make him accept us.
OK, here are the two main questions:
1.should I get engaged now and having to convince my dad to accept me as muslim and to accept me marrying a guy from my stepdad's family, knowing I hate my stepdad with all my heart?right in my junior year where I'm trying to survive my grades and suffering depression(oh, forgot to mention that.)
2.we intend to marry in pakistan and apply moon for marriage visa afterwards. But with all this mess about 9/11, all pakistanis are on the terrorist list and I fear they may not let him in or make him have to wait for many years. And also, the marriage visas I read up on, you have to marry in the u.s.. We want to marry in pakistan.a little advice on this issue would help.
And I DO NOT want to live over there. I will not be stuck in a house cooking and cleaning and being a slave in my own household. No offense, my stepdads family is pretty traditional.moon understands that and promises not to suffocate me, his father being pretty narrow-minded too.
PLEEAAASSSSE HELP ME! Ireally need advice on this issue