terry884
Mar 12, 2009, 08:53 PM
So I have read a lot of these post before adding mine. Love ASH123 How to Break-up and survive 101 (great info!) I am blessed that some married friends told me to do exactly this and why she cried and told me how much she was going to miss me I held her and told her I know you are doing the right things as I was the one for the past two years that kept coming up with new ideas to make it work or to change things when in the end, the only reason it wasn't working was because she had not made the commitment to make it work. I don't regret putting the effort in as we grew so much and had so much love and things we truly enjoy doing together. However, sometimes until you let that person go they are standing way to close to focus on what they have so you must tell them as I did, I understand your need to fly and while I would love to spend the rest of my life with you, it is you that must decide if they want this too. She said, I know and maybe in a month of having this time I can figure out why I can't make this work but I love you so much and I feel so weak for falling apart right not and she thanked me for loving her so much and said there is definitely a part of me that wonders if I could ever find someone as amazing as you. I tell you this so you can get a better look at our relationship and also know we are both in out early 40's and she is someone that always tells it like it is.
My question to my panel of peers is two things. One I told her that I understand her need to go and figure out if she wants this relationship but even though I was loving I said that I will not contact you and please don't contact me unless you realize that you I am right for you and have figured out that you want to make this work. She said, not even to text or email you if I am making progress on moving towards a long term relationship with you and I said no, only if you have figured out that you want this relationship. Was I to strict in that? Should I have said that it is OK to let me know if you are moving that direction? Second, obviously I am hoping she will return as she did mention that maybe after 30 days she would figure it out, oh and we were talking about other married friends that need 30 days to figure stuff out before they realized that they missed each other. So is it OK to hope that she come back in a month and if I don't hear from her than do I just keep silent or ask if she has figured anything out?
My question to my panel of peers is two things. One I told her that I understand her need to go and figure out if she wants this relationship but even though I was loving I said that I will not contact you and please don't contact me unless you realize that you I am right for you and have figured out that you want to make this work. She said, not even to text or email you if I am making progress on moving towards a long term relationship with you and I said no, only if you have figured out that you want this relationship. Was I to strict in that? Should I have said that it is OK to let me know if you are moving that direction? Second, obviously I am hoping she will return as she did mention that maybe after 30 days she would figure it out, oh and we were talking about other married friends that need 30 days to figure stuff out before they realized that they missed each other. So is it OK to hope that she come back in a month and if I don't hear from her than do I just keep silent or ask if she has figured anything out?