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student_worker2
Mar 9, 2009, 06:02 PM
I have been with my current boyfriend off and on for a year now and he wants to have sex and I keep telling him that we will soon and when he asks me when I say I don't know, he says that he's getting tiredo f hearing that same thing every time but he also says that he'll wait because I vowed to never have sex again until I'm married and once I told him about that vow he tried to make it seem like it didn't apply to our situation because I didn't have sex with him but I know it does, I think that if I don't have sex with him soon, our relationship is going to end, any advice?:o

neverme
Mar 9, 2009, 06:04 PM
Have you told him that you will?

But vowed to yourself that you won't?

student_worker2
Mar 9, 2009, 06:06 PM
Kind of, it's like I'll just agree with him about it but deep down I know that I don't want to break that vow

neverme
Mar 9, 2009, 06:11 PM
Well then you lied to him, and he may break up with you because of this.

The fact that you've been with this boy for over a year and didn't feel comfortable telling him your true feelings then that speaks volumes all on it's own.

If you made a vow to yourself, then be proud of that. Abstinence is not something I personally feel is necessary, but I commend anyone for sticking to their morals.

And by the way, I know it may seem easy to lie and just get out of it that way, but if you tell the truth from the start you save yourself a lot of stress and both parties a lot of hurt.

Best of Luck.

student_worker2
Mar 9, 2009, 06:15 PM
I really wouldn't call vit a lie because all I would say is eventually we would and he would say yeah and I would say yeah but he always brings it up... I guess because he feels that since we have been together for so long that we have to have sex but I already told him about the vow and no matter how many times I remind him of it he just blows it off and acts like I never said anything and that the only thing his mind is on is having sex

nikosmom
Mar 9, 2009, 06:15 PM
I totally agree with Neverme on this. I'll add one more thing... Sex is a personal decision and shouldn't be taken lightly. If you're not comfortable doing it, then don't! You can't take it back if you do.

If he walks because of your decision, let him. Do you really want to be with a guy that doesn't respect your decision?

student_worker2
Mar 9, 2009, 06:21 PM
We have gone through so much we just recently got back together because he just disappeared for a month and a half... and we are trying to start on better terms... I do love him because if I didn't I wouldn't be going through this with him... I just don't want every time we spend time together to be all about having sex, and to answer your question... I really don't know if he respects my decision because he twists what he says and half of the time it don't make sense

Fr_Chuck
Mar 9, 2009, 06:22 PM
Yes, first the "off and on" is one issue. After that if you want to wait, tell him, be honest, and after that stand up for what you believe

student_worker2
Mar 9, 2009, 06:26 PM
But his thing is that I have had sex with my previous boyfriend of 4 yrs, but we only had sex twice, and now that I am more religious and into church and God I realized that that was wrong and I repented and told God and myself that I would not have sex anymore until I'm married and he says that that is not fair

nikosmom
Mar 9, 2009, 06:30 PM
You seem like you have your head screwed on straight and I'm proud of your decision.

If you "don't know if he respects your decision", well that's all more the reason to wait on having sex. Not sure of your age, but one thing you should know is guys will say anything to have sex. You shouldn't be "going through this" when it comes to getting closer. Sex is a covenant that shouldn't be entered into lightly and you seem to understand this.

student_worker2
Mar 9, 2009, 06:33 PM
Thanks, I'm 18

liz28
Mar 10, 2009, 05:13 AM
If the two of you have an off and again relationship than why rush things especially if you don't even know how or where things are going for sure. You should never do any thing you've to question and not ready to do and you shouldn't be pressure to do so.

If he can't understand nor respect your wishes than it's time to put on your " walking boots" and walk right out of his life for good.