I am 20, my boyfriend is 23, been together 17 months. To cut story short, when it is me and him, it is perfect, really good, both extremely happy. When it involves being with other people things change.

I appreciate people change around mates, I know I am more outgoing with my mates, than I am with my boyfriend. However me as an all round person does not alter no matter who I am with.

I cannot say the same for my boyfriend. With me, he is quite insecure, in the fact he asks a lot, "how much do you love me?" "tell me you love me" "you should say more nice things to me more often" also he worries a lot with me, like about his job, and he is quite a nervous person, but when with me I chill him out and its all god, I support and encourage him... BUT...

.. when he hits his mates, its like he steps in to a another body, he becomes someone who is arrogant, cocky, full of himself, annoying, loud, etc etc (when I asked about this, all he can reply is "i want to look cool, i want to be liked". Sad thing is, I do not think people like him like that as recently noticed his mates do an awful lot without him and do not really include him much... I have tried talking to him, and he says he does not notice a difference at all, that he does not change, and that its an affect of a few drinks, but he is like that when not drinking.

Basically I am writing on here because what I fear is... that once he has he friend suit on, I fear that because he wants to look so "cool" that he may think... argh sod the girlfriend I will look cool if I cheat on her and get into someone else.

In all fairness he has never really given me a reason to doubt trust in him, he does not really get texts of other girls that I am aware of, he sees me every single night (bar the add few his spends with mates) and he always says he wuld never want to cheat, as he is happy with me, and would not want to lose me. But whenever he goes out with his mates we always end up arguing as I get so insecure due to his change in person that I fear the worst.

I have tried telling him this and he just says its nothing to worry about, but I know he looks at other women, as I see him doing it. I do not want to end it, as I am so happy when its just me and him, but I think I need to support or someone on here to talk to about my issues, as it really affects me and for an entire week before he has a night with his mates I get worried and get quite moody with him as I get so insecure and scared that he cheats and I will never know! Please help!

I am no expert...
But I see it as this.

With you - he is comfortable enough to be himself. He can relax and let you see the real him. He also seems to feel like he can't believe you are with him... that's why he keeps asking for reassurance.

With friends - since he is insecure, he is overcompensating and going too far to make up for it.

Personally - I wouldn't suspect him of being a cheater.. he just has some issues to deal with.

He puts on a good front for the public but you know him better. Just as he has issues, so do you. This is where you see how well you work together, through honest communications.

I am no expert....
but i see it as this.

With you - he is comfortable enough to be himself. he can relax and let you see the real him. He also seems to feel like he can't believe you are with him... thats why he keeps asking for reassurance.

With friends - since he is insecure, he is overcompensating and going too far to make up for it.

Personally - i wouldnt suspect him of being a cheater.. he just has some issues to deal with.

I think you found your answer.

He's obviously just trying to show off but he doesn't really sound like a cheater.

Thanks for great advice and getting back to me.

Sometimes I reassure myself by thinking this... when he gets 2% less of a test than the grade he wanted, or gets told by his trainer at work he is too quiet, it scares the life out of him, he gets really down and often cries over it. So I reassure myself by thinking if he can get so wound up over something so litte, I like to think that if he did cheat he would feel so guilty he would tell me, almost perhaps too innocent for his own good, but obviously that could be completely wrong!

I know I am insecure myself, I feel as one of you guys said, wow - he actually loves me, I believed for months I was out his league, whilst he was having the same thoughts about me. I just worry as lots of people do go up to him, ask him if he is single, invite him out, and I'm scared one may take his fancy, but as he said... why would I risk a one night stand for 17 months of happiness?

so perhaps I need to chill my nerves more, and put more faith in him?

thanks again people! =) so muchly appreciated!