I met a guy I work with in may08, he is muslim and upholds his religion.
We started spending time together.A lot of time together and we eventually had sex. Because this was wrong in his eyes he thought it best to stop contact outside of work.
We tried to be friends but after spending time again together it happened again. He had always said he would never marry so in December 08 he thought it best to stop all contact outside of work as it was affecting us both in a bad way.
We didn't see or speak for 2 weeks when he called me and asked to meet up.
On January 1st we met and he declared his love for me and asked me to marry him.
I was exstatic as I had fallen in love
He asked one thing of me which was not to let him kiss cuddle or touch me in any way until we were married.
We spent every day and night together because I just wanted to be with him. I found myself questioning him about what if family didn't accept me? What if? What if? What if? I kept asking just to cuddle me one more time just kiss me one more time make love to me one more time... until one morning he was different.
I asked what was wrong and he said nothing. He was quiet and different so I kept on asking what was wrong.
He eventually said we were not compatible. He said emotions do not matter. The mind thinks its not right so we can't continue and we can't be married.
I was devastated. I cried constantly which he hates. He says we shoiuld not let emotions rule our lives and minds.
I stayed away from work and we have not spoken until I called him yesterday.
I asked him if we could be friends and he said not while I am still thinking about us being together. He said when I return to work it will be as if we have never met before. We get to know each other and see what happens between us in time. He said no one knows about future. He said we might be friends we might be close friends we might get married... only time will tell.
Please help me... what should I do? Do I play this game? Do you think he is interested in starting over or do you think ita just a polite way to say its never going to happen?
He told my work colleague he still loves me a lot and only time will tell what will happen between us.
Pleeeeeeeeeeese help me?

And this is why office relationships are a bad idea! If he said that this is not going to work out, then why would starting over at work like you never knew each other make things any different? I think you know the answer to this, but need reassurance that you are right. Don't mess with this. It's complicated enough as it is right now. Don't let false hope inside of you make it anymore complicated than what it already is.

Looks like you both are confused. Since, he told his colleges that he still loves you, there are chances. But come to think of it again, how can he be so intimate with you at one point of time and again leave you just because he thinks its not right. What I believe is, if I had true feelings for someone, I will never let them go if he loves me back too. I will fight to bring changes, I will do anything to keep the love alive. This is just my point of view.
I know how it feels like to love someone, but get neglected. Try to be independent. Try to move ahead. Try to make plans for the future without him. Don't let his decisions control you life. You can do it. If he once dumped you, you can no longer fully trust him. So try to live a happy life independent of him. :) good luck!

Stop having sex, or seeing each other after work.

Easier said than done, but do you just want more misery, and pain, or do you want to get over him, and pursue your own happiness?

Your choice.

All I see here is a very controlling man. He is playing mind games with you. He does one thing, and then says and does another! It's his way, or no way.

He has sex with you, and then tells you not to touch or kiss him. He asks you to marry him, and then says you're not compatible. He also asks you to marry him, and now wants to pretend he doesn't know you. He says I love you, and then takes it back in a flash. He tells you emotions don't rule his life or mind.

There are so many red flags here, that I can't even begin to count them! You said yourself, should I keep on playing this "game." That is exactly what it is, it's a game to him. He is screwing with your heart and emotions. You are hurting, and it sounds to me as if he doesn't give a rats behind! Then he gives you a teaser, and says to pretend that you don't know each other, and "see what happens" What a load of crap!

I'm sorry honey, but you need to run in the other direction! This is NOT a healthy relationship---and I use that term lightly. If you continue to play this game and let him do this, you will live a lifetime of hurt. The only thing worse than being with this controlling and confused man for a year, is being with him, or wanting to be with him, for a year and a day!

I know it's heartbreaking, but you need to move on. It will only hurt much worse in the long run if you don't. Chalk it up to experience, and find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.

His religion is a really big factor here. He has created a lot of issues - I know some Muslim guys and understand how "dedicated" to the religion they can be. It is all about control. Do you think you could really trust him again after what he did? This is a really awful situation and I can only sympathize as one of the hardest thing to do is sometimes walk away.

His religion is a really big factor here. He has created a lot of issues - I know some Muslim guys and understand how "dedicated" to the religion they can be. It is all about control. Do you think you could really trust him again after what he did? This is a really awful situation and I can only sympathize as one of the hardest thing to do is sometimes walk away.

Being dedicated to your religion is one thing, but hiding behind it is another. This man is making excuses, to cover up his ridiculous behaviour. If he was so dedicated, he wouldn't have broken the rules of his religion to begin with, and would have not expected her to do so either. If I'm not wrong, I believe one of the beliefs in the Muslim religion, is that the man and woman remain virgins until marriage. Someone correct me if I'm wrong. If I am correct, this would make this man a hypocrite!

With that said, I will once again say---this is not going to work. I know that is harsh and hard to hear 12ed, but unless there is something more we are not hearing, you just need to walk away for your own sanity. I don't think there is much more we could really hear at all to change the situation as it is. I'm sorry.