Hi Everyone!
I've been reading many posts about teens getting pregnant.Whether or not the pregnacies are planned or not, I think to myself, wow why are girls as young as 14 and 15 even having sex? I don't understand why in the world children are having sex. They have their whole lives ahead of them but they choose to have a boyfriend for two weeks say I love you and have sex three weeks later. Don't they know what I love you means? Loving someone, you don't just fall in love with them magically. It's something that you work at with someone and grow deeper into. And Sex isn't just sex, it's more than an action. It's love, caring, emotional, etc. Excuse my language but what the hell are they teaching children in school about sex? The earlier these kids are learning about sex, it seems like the earlier they want to have sex. I don't believe that kids that're in the 7th and 8th grade should honestly know about sex. In schools they don't say "Well, if you're going to have sex think about it, use protection, talk to your parents. " They just say use protection. Honestly do people think teaching immature Middle school children about sex isn't going to make them want to go out and experiment?
Sorry for the rant, But If you will please just leave some thoughts, comments, etc.
I just want to hear what other people have to say!
Thank You,
Jen.

I am out of this. I think my opinion doesn't count.

Lol. Oh It is fine. I wanted to hear opinions!

Yep! Like revenge said, kids here don't have respect at all. I also come from another country and when I was in school, if you saw a teacher coming towards you, you had to stop and shift to the side to let them pass. Lack of morals is also another thing, kids here think they can do anything and get away with it, they don't go to church or have a real religion.

Hi Everyone!
I've been reading many posts about teens getting pregnant.Whether or not the pregnacies are planned or not, I think to myself, wow why are girls as young as 14 and 15 even having sex? I don't understand why in the world children are having sex. They have their whole lives ahead of them but they choose to have a boyfriend for two weeks say i love you and have sex three weeks later. Don't they know what i love you means? Loving someone, you don't just fall in love with them magically. It's something that you work at with someone and grow deeper into. And Sex isn't just sex, it's more than an action. It's love, caring, emotional, etc. Excuse my language but what the hell are they teaching children in school about sex? The earlier these kids are learning about sex, it seems like the earlier they want to have sex. I don't believe that kids that're in the 7th and 8th grade should honestly know about sex. In schools they don't say "Well, if you're going to have sex think about it, use protection, talk to your parents. " They just say use protection. Honestly do people think teaching immature Middle school children about sex isn't going to make them want to go out and experiment?
Sorry for the rant, But If you will please just leave some thoughts, comments, etc.
I just want to hear what other people have to say!
Thank You,
Jen.

Not all kids are this way and it is not fair to lump every kid in one category. Parenting is the most important factor in my opinion. I had parents who never spoke a word about sex and it made sex a dirty thing in my mind. I have had a hard time excepting sex as a normal part of a relationship. Then there are parents who take it to far the other way. I think it is a delicate balancing act.

What! You don't need religion to live a good life, these kids are just so messed up from all the crap they see on TV. Most of the ads you seen are sexual orientated and are portraying an image that's impossible to achieve.

This kind of stuff happens only in America

That's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard. Nope, not true at all.


They are so open in front of their children and they talk about sex freely that its in their ears 24/7. So what do you expect. Idiot parents=idiot children

You won't last long here if you call people idiots. As for sex education, would you rather we just let them figure it out for themselves? That's irresponsible parenting.


women have no respect they open their butt and go out shopping. They smoke drink like sluts and all that stuff.

I smoke, I drink, and I shop, so I'm a slut? Wow! Women have no respect? What, are they supposed to kneel at your feet and worship the ground you walk on? Well, welcome to America, where women have rights.


I remember I was getting beaten up for saying to my bro that he is a donkey or something else. Our parents were teaching us respect. Here parents do the apposite

So your parents where abusive and that's okay? Respect is not beaten into someone, that's fear. Respect is earned, and no one earns it by beating up on someone. That's child abuse.

Revenge, there are so many things wrong with your post that I don't know what to say. If you don't like the way things are done in America, why did you move there?

I hope one day I will able to understand you.

The problem with that is that I'm not from America, I'm from Canada, born in Germany, and both of those countries also have problems with teen pregnancy, so your statement doesn't hold true.

Let me see, America is called backward by many because they don't allow the age of consent to be 16 or even 14 like many of the overseas countries that are called progressive.

But it is not just 14 but it is children as young as 12 is not that uncommom really is where it starts, and it is a lot because parents refuse to admit it does or take safety standards to prevent it. ( proper supervision)

I agree Chuck. I'm sad to admit it, but the age of sexual consent in Canada is 14, talk about a bad decision. They're trying to get it changed to 16, but many people are against it. Sadly, the people that can vote for or against raising it are all over 18. Doesn't make any sense to me.

I do talk to my kids about sex because I want them to be aware, know the risks, know what precautions to take and know that any questions they have I will answer. I'd rather they get the truth then a bunch of bull from their friends.

Sadly, all over the world, family values have gone down dramatically, even since I was a kid. Too many kids are raising themselves, don't have open communication or any communication with their parents. Most of the teens purposefully getting pregnant are doing it because they want something to love, they think a baby will give them that.

Is there an end in sight to teen pregnancy? I don't think so.

Everyone thanks for your posts!

Alten, I Like this part of your post.



I do talk to my kids about sex because I want them to be aware, know the risks, know what precautions to take and know that any questions they have I will answer. I'd rather they get the truth then a bunch of bull from their friends.
.

And I agree with you about that to the fullest extent. I just don't understand why we leave the sex talk up to sex ed in public school to teach our kids about sex. And I don't understand why some parents don't talk to their kids about sex because they see it as shameful or something, it's ridiculous! If everyone just talked to their kids and talked about the precautions, the risk, etc. than maybe some things would change.

Yep! like revenge said, kids here dont have respect at all. I also come from another country and when i was in school, if you saw a teacher coming towards you, you had to stop and shift to the side to let them pass. Lack of morals is also another thing, kids here think they can do anything and get away with it, they dont go to church or have a real religion.

Haha OK listen apperantly you're an idiot adult and you probably have never had kids and you never paid attention in your high school sex education class if you ever had one cause it sure sounds like you didn't. You can't assume ALL KIDS are like that cause let me tell you, I'm 15, I've had a boyfriend for 9 months and WE ARE NOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE! So please back up your , yeah your before you speak. I never curse, especially to an adult or never at parents and teachers and I'm usually very respectful but your answer just freaking pissed me off because your so freaking illiterate. I can't believe an adult can be so stupid to say such bull . Please lady, you and the woman that posted the thread and an answer need to back up your crap. Oh and by the way, what do you care about teens having sex? That really isn't your problem, as long as your kids aren't having sex then that's all you should worry about, so PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOR, and stick your nose where the sun don't shineee!



And once again, Alty always has a point :)

At least we know someone on here isn't as illiterate as the other idiots posting very stupid information. SEARCH people SEARCH!

I bet you anything when you were in high school there was girls that went around and guys that did too, but that doesn't mean you have to insult them calling them hoes and sluts.

This is why the world is like this now a day, cause of illiterate adults that make stupid freaking decisions!

Back in HS a few decades ago, my GF was 15 and I was 16. We did everything but penetration. One day at her parent's house when they were not how she lay totally naked on the living room floor.

I said "No penetration". No Birth Control access. I wouldn't risk it.

At that point I had a good foundation in a Catholic grade school nonetheless and a pretty decent backup class called "Health" in high school.

I finally rounded everything out with a college course called "Foundations of Human Sexuality" and I have engaged in non-vanilla behavior. I have limits too.

So, I guess in the age in question, the consequences were known and were were stronger than the urge.

I heard that a cousin of mine who did become pregnant had to carry a doll around as part of their sexual education class. It didn't work.

I think that there was something that subcnciusly helped was a class called "consumer English". In this class we had projects like car loan, look at apartment info, understand interest rates, balance a check book, go shopping at three stores, and find out what combination was the cheapest etc. A good eye opener. I loved the class.

My mother talks to me about dieases and HIV and sex, I'm super open minded and my mom has made me that way so I understand life and she teaches me manners everyday of my life, I learn something new from her and she always warns me and tells me everything so I don't fall in that mistake. But what really ticked me off is how people don't say most kids or some kids. They say kids, which we are teenagers. HUGE difference. And you can at least say children. Kid to me isn't so nice. Of course there is girls out there my age getting pregnant but you don't know why they want that attention or what problem they are having that they got pregnant, I don't know but still, this crap talking about us teens is offensive because, YES there is teens in this site, and A LOT! And I got very offended as you can see!

Ana you are probably a one in a million teenager who actually thinks for themselves!

Alty - right as always!

Sex and teens go hand in hand just like drugs and teens. Some teens resist the drugs and sex and turn out to be well adjusted adults leading a wonderful life married to their opposite sex spouse and having children after marriage, not before.

And then there are the other teens. Those who end up pregnant and raising (or should I say trying to raise) children when they are just children themselves and 9 times out of 10 unmarried. And those teens who end up drug addicts who have basically thrown their lives away with both hands.

Again, Ana, I commend you for your coming on here and saying that not all teens are sex happy or sex crazed. You probably have a lot of peer pressure to go against today's immoral attitudes.

Please do not cave into them...

Yeah but I still find it offended.


What if I told you ALL parents now a days are horrible and they don't know how to raise children and all they do now is deal drugs and abuse their children and I know this because everyday in the news there is either a dad raping the little girl or the mom killing the girl or the baby found in the trash can, I sure know a good parent would stand up and be like "hey! not all parents are like that!" well, of course they aren't, it just really bothered me the way people say ALL TEENS!

Well I'm 17 and 8 months pregnant I do love my partner very much almoast too much... I never planned to get pregnant but it did and I am looking forward to it. These arnt the reasons I got pregnant but maybe it has something to do with TV and the programs that are shown nowadays. Maybe it has something to do with the benefits that you get as a non working single mum? I don't know but I know a lot of young mums and their amazing. There is such bad responses to young pregnancies and parents if that's what they want and they think they are mature enough to take on the life of parenthood then let them. But don't use it as an excuse to get money or a house.

well im 17 and 8 months pregnant i do love my partner very much almoast too much... i never planned to get pregnent but it did and i am looking forward to it. these arnt the reasons why i got pregnant but maybe it has someting to do with tv and the programs that are shown nowadays. maybe it has something to do with the benifits that you get as a non working single mum? i dont know but i know a lot of young mums and their amazing. there is such bad responces to young pregnancies and parents if thats what they want and they think they are mature enough to take on the life of parenthood then let them. but dont use it as an excuse to get money or a house.

I had my son at a fresh 18. I thought it was great and I was ready. Come back in ten-twelve years and let us know how WONDERFUL single mums have it... cause that is a crock. There are bad responses because with age you mature and you learn from your experiences, when you are young you are too naïve and too grown-up to realize how foolish you are.

Well lets put it this way my brothers ex girlfriend had a baby boy when she was 19 she couldn't handle it so I took him on with my mum the only time I don't have him is when I'm at college yeah that's right college so I don't think its true that young parents,parents to be throw their life away. I handle my hephew really well and I love the life I live. I find it easy but I guess not everyone has the same opinion. I would do anything for my nephew and my baby boy.

Absolutely,

I was basically raised by a single mom, long story, and it's a crock. My mom worked longer than she should have had to for less than she deserved and and worried for the rest of the time.

It's no walk in the park, by any feat of the imagination.

Children need to realise these acts are classed 'adult' for a reason. And if you are not ready to have a baby, then don't have sex.

What really gets me, are the ones who aren't even smart enough to use protection to begin with?!

I went to Catholic school, while there 4 of my friends got pregnant. I guess the "abstinence is best" speech didn't sink in, or maybe they didn't go to school that day. ;)

I had sex in high school, so you, I was a teen that had sex. I didn't care about the consequences even though I knew them. I was young, outgoing and wanted to have fun while I still could, that was my mindset. I got lucky, really lucky, no pregnancies, no serious STD's (yes, I said serious, in other words, I did get an STD, thankfully it was easily cleared up with meds) and I lived to tell about it.

I do preach abstinence, not until you get married, I'm not naïve, I know that that's not reality, but at least until you're old enough to suffer the possible consequences. In other words, when you're old enough to carry, support (financially and emotionally) and commit to a child. Kids aren't cheap, and I don't think I should have to pay (with my taxes) for someone else to have a child.

Ana, I commend you for being a responsible teen, and yes, I know there are more of you out there and we shouldn't lump you all into one category. There are some great teen boys on this site that are also waiting to lose their viriginity, as well as other girls your age who know that they are too young. You teens give me hope.

Confused, I wish you all the best, I hope that things work out for you and your partner, but statistically speaking it doesn't look good. Maybe you won't be a statistic, I hope not.

We can't change the world, but we can do our best to educate the teens that come here asking questions, so that's a start. Also, we can educate our own children. There are always going to be teen pregnancies, that's just a fact of life, but what we say to those considering having sex can maybe change the statistics a bit.

That's all I have to say. :)

well lets put it this way my brothers ex girlfriend had a baby boy when she was 19 she couldnt handle it so i took him on with my mum the only time i dont have him is when im at college yeah thats right college so i dont think its true that young parents,parents to be throw their life away. i handle my hephew really well and i love the life i live. i find it easy but i guess not everyone has the same opinion. i would do anything for my nephew and my baby boy.

Well lets say you just made my point. I never said you weren't capable. I was capable as well. I said you will have a different outlook on it in ten-twelve years. I commend you for what you are doing, I have been there. What I am saying is, adults are right that it is disappointing to see young single mothers. Not that it's not possible to raise children or that they are not capable, from a different perspective, young mothers will face challenges beyond normal parenthood. And the facts are that MOST young single mothers do not finish high school, let alone college. I am not saying that these things don't happen, I am saying that it is difficult. In ten years, if you feel the same way about young teenage mothers, look me up. I will happily eat crow. Fact stand that you are up against tremendious obsticles, some you aren't even aware of yet. Good luck to you.

Alty,

You have such a kind, firm and inspiring way with words.

Well done.

[QUOTE=Justwantfair;1580222]I had my son at a fresh 18.

So you were 18 and young and like neverme said why don't kids learn to use protection.you didn't so isn't u being hypicritical?

Confused this is not a personal attack on you.

Try not to take it as such.

Kids are having sex because sex is everywhere. It's so "vanilla", there's no shock factor behind it anymore. Everyone does it and it's practically expected premarital in American culture. It's not really a big deal here in America anymore. I mean, look at all of the television shows and movies. American Pie? My grandma was telling that in the 50s and 60's a movie like American Pie would have been banned. Sex is a punchline, a comedy skit, there are even sexual references in cartoons.
It not only lies with the media, I think the root of all of this is the basis of a family.
Parents just aren't instilling abstinence or at least other alternatives to the presumed lifestyle. I think we as a nation have come a long ways from the 50's-60's- there's some good and some bad to that.
We've gained a lot, but we've lost so much.

so you were 18 and young and like neverme said y dont kids learn to use protection.you didnt so aint u bein hypicritical?

You are mistaken to read into it as hypocritical. It is disappointment and pity that I feel, because I have been there. Your peaches and cream vision is unrealistic. Spoken from experience, not criticism.

I have experience I gues people either find it easy or a struggle I see it as a joy to be bringing something up that looks up to you.

I went to Catholic school, while there 4 of my friends got pregnant. I guess the "abstinence is best" speech didn't sink in, or maybe they didn't go to school that day. ;)

I had sex in high school, so ya, I was a teen that had sex. I didn't care about the consequences even though I knew them. I was young, outgoing and wanted to have fun while i still could, that was my mindset. I got lucky, really lucky, no pregnancies, no serious STD's (yes, I said serious, in other words, I did get an STD, thankfully it was easily cleared up with meds) and I lived to tell about it.

I do preach abstinence, not until you get married, I'm not naive, I know that that's not reality, but at least until you're old enough to suffer the possible consequences. In other words, when you're old enough to carry, support (financially and emotionally) and commit to a child. Kids aren't cheap, and I don't think I should have to pay (with my taxes) for someone else to have a child.

Ana, I commend you for being a responsible teen, and yes, I know there are more of you out there and we shouldn't lump you all into one category. There are some great teen boys on this site that are also waiting to lose their viriginity, as well as other girls your age who know that they are too young. You teens give me hope.

Confused, I wish you all the best, I hope that things work out for you and your partner, but statistically speaking it doesn't look good. Maybe you won't be a statistic, I hope not.

We can't change the world, but we can do our best to educate the teens that come here asking questions, so that's a start. Also, we can educate our own children. There are always going to be teen pregnancies, that's just a fact of life, but what we say to those considering having sex can maybe change the statistics a bit.

That's all I have to say. :)

DO I reallllllllllllllly have to say it again?


Another point proved by alty :)

Too bad in my PUBLIC school there is two pregnant girls.. In Florida, there is awesome private schools. But there is one that is St. Brendan high school. They call it the "slut and hoe school." I'm not going to lie, I know manyyyy people in that school cause I mostly hang out with private school students, but from that school its just like WOWWWW where is the sex education? And when I DO have sex, I'm not going to plan it, I'm going to let it happen. But yes I'm going to think of an older age than 15, maybe 18 and to a guy I'm devoted to and love, and if not after marriage. But I know that if I have sex for love and care but not for kids, I will use protection, and I dooooo spread it around my friends. And I'm defff. Not scared or embarrassed to. Not to be cocky, but a few friends actually look up to me because of the way I prevent and talk students and friends for not falling into the wrong path.

Ana, I didn't not mean to offend anyone, so to you and anyone else that I may have offened, I apologize. I commend you on everything you do. Especially that you talk to your friends about safer choices.

Alten, You always have great points to make.
And that's basically what I'm saying. I don't think that not only teens should be more precautious about pregnancy. Anyone who isn't ready commit and support a child financially and emotionally shouldn't be having a baby. And I can certainly agree that children aren't cheap to raise.

I posted this, not to offend anyone, just to hear what other people have to say. So again sorry If anyone has been offended.

No offense taken on my part, in fact, I started a very similar thread last year, so I understand your concern and the reason why you want to discuss this.

The sad fact is, there really isn't anything that can be done for everyone, you can't change the world, just your corner of it. :)

Exactly what alty said. I'm not going to lie, there is a great percent of young teens getting pregnant now a day, but when people start saying very rude things, you know it gets a little offensive. It's all right, just I think people should really think about what they're going to say before posting it because there is a lottt of teens here and some ARE young and pregnant and you are basically putting them down. It's really hard for them to read all of this and it's even harder the rumors in school and the faces people give you. I'm just saying, maybe you as adults can give warnings instead of critize. I'm an educated 15 year old, I'm not pregnant, I'm not sexually active, and I got offended. I mean, it is there fault but it's an accident too. Think about it you were allll teens and you guys probably allll did one sneaky thing and maybe you guys got in trouble, you know you made a mistake. You were just doing it because you thought it would be fun but then you face consequences, and we're all humans, WE WERE ALL BORN TO MAKE MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THEM!


And by the way about the T.V. shows, there is actually a t.v. show on abc family that is called "the secret life of an american teenager" and it really teaches teens about the consequences you will face and the things that will happen around you if you make a wrong mistake to get pregnant. So some T.V. shows are helpful!

haha ok listen apperantly your an idiot adult and you probably have never had kids and you never payed attention in your high school sex education class if you ever had one cause it sure sounds like you didnt. You can't assume ALL KIDS are like that cause let me tell you, im 15, i've had a boyfriend for 9 months and WE ARE NOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE! so please back up your , yeah your before you speak. I never curse, especially to an adult or never at parents and teachers and im usually very respectful but your answer just freaking pissed me off because your so freaking illiterate. I can't believe an adult can be so stupid to say such bull . Please lady, you and the woman that posted the thread and an answer need to back up your crap. Oh and btw, what do you care about teens having sex? that really isnt your problem, as long as your kids arent having sex then thats all you should worry about, so PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOR, and stick your nose where the sun dont shineee!

And once again, Alty always has a point :)

At least we know someone on here isnt as illiterate as the other idiots posting very stupid information. SEARCH people SEARCH!

I bet you anything when you were in high school there was girls that went around and guys that did too, but that doesnt mean you have to insult them calling them hoes and sluts.

This is why the world is like this now a day, cause of illiterate adults that make stupid freaking decisions!


This concerns me - this is a post supposedly showing how adult and controlled this 15-year old is? With the ranting, grammar and spelling it's almost impossible to understand what point she's trying to make.

I see other adults who are hot and/or angered by this topic but I don't see this level of disrespect.

As we all know I don't think children should be posting on adult threads to begin with.

What misspelling? Cause I said cause because?

Im sorry, I have all the right to get offended and the right to write my opinion on whatever post, it's not like it's adult sexuality or something.

Im not disrespecting, I just got very offended.

& if I was, then I don't care because really, everyone who posted a negative answer is disrespecting me by using "ALL KIDS."

What mispelling? cause i said cause cuz?

Im sorry, i have all the right to get offended and the right to write my opinion on whatever post, it's not like it's adult sexuality or something.

Im not disrespecting, i just got very offended.

& if i was, then i dont care because really, everyone who posted a negative answer is disrespecting me by using "ALL KIDS."

I tried to correct the misspellings and grammar errors but it was taking too long and I am not that patient.

You have a right to be offended and have your opinion, but you also need to bring your opinion to this forum in an appropriate fashion... "you must be an idiot adult without children" IS NOT an appropriate fashion.

Everyone here has an opinion to share that is what makes this forum work, but it is not appropriate for attacks because you do not appreciate the opinion. If you would like to disagree with someone quote them and tell them POLITELY why they are generalizing and you don't think that is accurate.

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what kids are thinking or not thinking when they engage in sexual activity but my outtake on it is this:

I was a severely neglected/ abused child beginning in infancy. Parents were self absorbed drug/alcoholics. At the age of 3 I was molested and that person continued to molest me until I turned 11. I told my mother about it finally when I was 9 and she didn't do anything about it either out of disbelief or not wanting to cause trouble... whatever her reason its irrelevant... I had no one to protect, love, or nurture me as every child is born requires. At 5 I was raising my newborn sister etc.. As I got into my teens and became more rebellious, if a boy showed interest in me I truly believed in my heart that he loved me and I was willing to do whatever I could to keep his love and obtain more of it only to find that his love never existed only his desire to obtain his physical needs. My promiscuity lasted until I finally wised up at a whopping 29 years old! I finally know that sex and love are 2 completely different things and you don't need one to have the other. My point is, I don't believe that most of the kids out there are having sex to be (bad) they are doing it because sex is the closest we can be to another person physically, false love... is better than not feeling love at all. I hope this gives you a different perspective on it, I would hate to have shared that personal crap for nothing :) God Bless!

Cm, that is A lot to go through. It is great to hear that you are on a better tract in life now. God bless you for all that you have been through. You are right there are a lot of teens out there having sex, because they think that it is the same as love.

I think that overall teenagers are too eager to grow up. They want to be adults and behave like there are adults too early in life. Once you are grown you realize that you didn't appreciate being a child and teenage the way you should have because you FINALLY learn that there isn't any hurry to grow up after all.

Peer pressure is also a HUGE contributor to sex. "Everyone" is doing it, those who aren't, are probably stating that they are. Then you have those who aren't who feel ashamed like they are the lonely ones. I think one of the greatest things is for teens to decide to wait. Be proud that you are making that decision because THAT decision is more adult then any teenagers will ever understand.

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what kids are thinking or not thinking when they engage in sexual activity but my outtake on it is this:

I was a severely neglected/ abused child beginning in infancy. Parents were self absorbed drug/alcoholics. At the age of 3 I was molested and that person continued to molest me until i turned 11. I told my mother about it finally when I was 9 and she didnt do anything about it either out of disbelief or not wanting to cause trouble...whatever her reason its irrelevant...I had no one to protect, love, or nurture me as every child is born requires. At 5 i was raising my newborn sister etc.. As I got into my teens and became more rebellious, if a boy showed interest in me I truly believed in my heart that he loved me and I was willing to do whatever I could to keep his love and obtain more of it only to find that his love never existed only his desire to obtain his physical needs. My promiscuity lasted until I finally wised up at a whopping 29 years old! I finally know that sex and love are 2 completely different things and you dont need one to have the other. My point is, I don't believe that most of the kids out there are having sex to be (bad) they are doing it because sex is the closest we can be to another person physically, false love...is better than not feeling love at all. I hope this gives you a different perspective on it, I would hate to have shared that personal crap for nothing :) God Bless!



Excellent, touching, from the heart post - I am always amazed and humbled when people post such personal information, information which will, in fact, be helpful to other people.

I'm so glad you got your life together - hope you stick around here.

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what kids are thinking or not thinking when they engage in sexual activity but my outtake on it is this:

I was a severely neglected/ abused child beginning in infancy. Parents were self absorbed drug/alcoholics. At the age of 3 I was molested and that person continued to molest me until i turned 11. I told my mother about it finally when I was 9 and she didnt do anything about it either out of disbelief or not wanting to cause trouble...whatever her reason its irrelevant...I had no one to protect, love, or nurture me as every child is born requires. At 5 i was raising my newborn sister etc.. As I got into my teens and became more rebellious, if a boy showed interest in me I truly believed in my heart that he loved me and I was willing to do whatever I could to keep his love and obtain more of it only to find that his love never existed only his desire to obtain his physical needs. My promiscuity lasted until I finally wised up at a whopping 29 years old! I finally know that sex and love are 2 completely different things and you dont need one to have the other. My point is, I don't believe that most of the kids out there are having sex to be (bad) they are doing it because sex is the closest we can be to another person physically, false love...is better than not feeling love at all. I hope this gives you a different perspective on it, I would hate to have shared that personal crap for nothing :) God Bless!



Thank You very much for posting that. It definitely made me see the situation in a different way. I'm glad you have your life on track and God Bless You!

Alten, you're correct. I suppose the only thing we can do is sit back and educate our children on the facts, the consequences, etc.

And Ana, I never said ALL KIDS or ALL CHILDREN. As I said before, I apologize if I offended anyone. I'm just curious. Also I have seen The Secret Life and so far it has shown many things that teen mothers go through. So that's one good show.. .

I'm going to pop in here.

First to Jennifer, I understand your concern here. But I'm a little bothered by this quote; "The earlier these kids are learning about sex, it seems like the earlier they want to have sex. I don't believe that kids that're in the 7th and 8th grade should honestly know about sex". This is totally out of touch and impractical. The reason why people advocate sex education earlier and earlier is a RESULT of the epidemic in teen pregnacies, not the cause of it. The rationale behind sex ed is to prepare children for having sex, to help them understand the physical, emotional and social issues that surround it.

The media bombards kids with sex. But not with how to deal with it. Pushing sex ed back to a later age, will only leave kids unprepared.

Not that I advocate sex. I have said many times, that NO one, no matter what the age, should be engaging in sexual intercourse until they are physically, financially and emotionally ready to have a child. Someone earlier talked about being intimate but without penentration. That's they way to go, In my opinion.

Now to Ana, I think you were way offbase with your rants here. I don't think Jennifer was making too borad generalizations that should have offended you. You yourself have admitted that it's a problem, so why attack just because you have managed to rise above the problem?

I don't have a magic solution for this problem. I definitely feel that parental guidance is too often missing when kids turn to sex. I definitely feel that education is a help not a cause. I also feel the media needfs to be more responsible, but I'm afraid the cat is out of that bag.

Scott, I agree, wish I could give you a greenie.

The sad fact is that many teens, heck even some 20 something's, don't know a lot about sex, the consequences, or even how a child is conceived. Some people still think that the pull out method is a legitimate form of birth control.

We actually had a 21 year old on this site asking if she could be pregnant because she gave her boyfriend oral sex. Really?

It's up to the parents to prepare their children for the world. Sex ed is a must, but even with sex ed it seems that many young people aren't being given enough information to make informed decisions about sex.

So, if your parents won't talk to you about sex, your school is only giving you the basics, where do you go? Many come here for answers, others, well, they try and learn, often it's a very hard lesson.

I'd rather that my kids are informed. Am I advocating that they have sex? No. I'm informing them of something that will be a natural part of their lives. I'm teaching them the consequences of entering into a sexual relationship. Will this stop them from having sex? I don't know, but I'd rather they have safer, informed, educated sex then just, oops, I hope that it's okay sex.

Did that make sense to anyone? I hope so. ;)

haha ok listen apperantly your an idiot adult and you probably have never had kids and you never payed attention in your high school sex education class if you ever had one cause it sure sounds like you didnt. You can't assume ALL KIDS are like that cause let me tell you, im 15, i've had a boyfriend for 9 months and WE ARE NOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE! so please back up your , yeah your before you speak. I never curse, especially to an adult or never at parents and teachers and im usually very respectful but your answer just freaking pissed me off because your so freaking illiterate. I can't believe an adult can be so stupid to say such bull . Please lady, you and the woman that posted the thread and an answer need to back up your crap. Oh and btw, what do you care about teens having sex? that really isnt your problem, as long as your kids arent having sex then thats all you should worry about, so PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOR, and stick your nose where the sun dont shineee!
!

I laughed my rear end off reading this.

First of all, I've BEEN 15. Talk to me when you've been going out with that boyfriend for 2 years and you're still a virgin---because THAT isn't going to happen.

You never curse? Really? You had a curse word deleted above (or some sort of vulgarity), and the last I checked the word "pissed" is a curse word.

And you're usually respectful? If this post is an example of that, I'll have to point out that your entire post sounds like a sulky teenager that doesn't have a clue what the real world is like--because this isn't respectful in the real world.

So honey---Let's do this: we (the adults) will stop calling teenagers irresponsible sex machines with no freaking clue, and you (the teenagers) will stop using our (the adults) taxes to support those babies that you (the teenagers) were too stupid and ignorant to prevent to begin with.

People think that if a parent raises you and teaches you to refrain from sex and tells you that you better not do it, it doesn't work. I have very strict parents who told me I bettter not have sex until I graduate from high school. I'm a junior in high school and I've already lost my virginity, and although it was a bad decision, I think I did it because my parents told me not to do it and were just so strict about everything. It was also the peer pressure from my friends and kids I go to school with, and the guys I hung out with, and boyfriends. When you hear about other people doing it, you kind of want to see how it is. You hear its good, you want to see for yourself. I think instead of parents preaching to their kids to stay virgins, they need to not instill fear into them, but rather tell them if they are thinking about having sex, talk to them and they will not be mad at them. Tell them you want to be a part of their life, and you want them to talk to you about everything. If kids know they can go to their parent about things, they won't be scared to. It will keep more young teens from getting pregnant and getting std's. Parents shudnt just say "oh go out and have sex with whoever u feel like" they should tell them, if they are going to have sex, it should be with someone they love and maybe want to spend the rest of their life with. They should get them birth control and help them out. I definitely think that sex before 16 is kind of ridiculous thou. Parents should tell their kids to wait before then, but not be so strict and stern and put fear into them.

Scott, I do believe that they should be tought about these things. I'm the eldest child of seven and one of my sister is in the tenth grade and she has told me that her health teacher doesn't say too much about sex but she gives the kids information in packets and on overhead projectors and that's it. She also told me that her health teacher has said "sex is good just not for you guys". I just think that health teachers should give more information than this is a penis, this is a vagina and this is a condom. They should be talking about the emotions that come with sex and/or love making.

Alten, that did make sense to me. I'd also rather have my kids know the facts and consequences if they're going to have sex. Like you said, I'm not saying they should, but I'd rather them know what they need to know.

DbranikaC , I also agree with what you said.
Thanks for posting since you have the actual experience with this.

And thanks to everyone else posting!

So honey---Let's do this: we (the adults) will stop calling teenagers irresponsible sex machines with no freaking clue, and you (the teenagers) will stop using our (the adults) taxes to support those babies that you (the teenagers) were too stupid and ignorant to prevent to begin with.


I am going to second this answer.

Its not about human growth and development.
I'm 13 about to turn 14 this march 29 and
I had sex with my boy friend about 3 times.
Its not an experiment you just get caught in the
Moment. Its nothing bad, its natural.. its feels good
Too :) I kind of regret it but I'm OK with it, I haven't told my mom or dad.. just family and I'm not guna.
Sex is natural, do it with someone you love. Me
And my boyfriend have been together for 1 year after high skool we're getting married, he's honest.
He doesn't push me to do anything I don't want to do.
Iloveyou david

-brittney <3

its not about human growth and development.
I'm 13 about to turn 14 this march 29 and
I had sex with my boy friend about 3 times.
Its not an experiment you just get caught in the
Moment. Its nothing bad, its natural.. its feels good
Too :) I kind of regret it but I'm OK with it, I haven't told my mom or dad.. just family and I'm not guna.
Sex is natural, do it with someone you love. Me
And my boyfriend have been together for 1 year after high skool we're getting married, he's honest.
He doesn't push me to do anything I don't want to do.
Iloveyou david

-brittney <3


You're 13 years old, having sex, and you think this is natural? So is pregnancy.


I kind of regret it but I'm OK with it

Out of your whole post, this is what stuck out the most.

So you think you're in love, you plan to get married to this boy after high school, and that makes it okay for you to have sex at the age of 13? You do realize that it's not even legal for you two to be having sex, right? Why do you think that is?

If you're so in love with each other then what's the rush? Won't you still be in love when you're older, more responsible, ready to have a child?

This is the type of thing that scares me as a parent, because I've been your age, thought I knew it all, found out the hard way that I didn't know anything.

Well, you just pretty well proved why teenagers shouldn't have sex. Job well done.

Well, you just pretty well proved why teenagers shouldn't have sex. Job well done.

Exactly Judy. Sadly, most of the other teens won't see it as that, they'll think, hmm, this 13 year old child is having sex, only sort of regrets it, maybe I should do it too.

Whatever happened to chastity belts? I think we should bring them back. :(

its not about human growth and developement.
im 13 about to turn 14 this march 29 and
i had sex with my boy friend about 3 times.
its not an experiment you just get caught in the
moment. its nothing bad, its natural .. its feels good
too :) i kinda regret it but im ok with it, i havent told my mom or dad .. just family and im not guna.
sex is natural, do it with someone you love. me
and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year after high skool we're getting married, he's honest.
he doesnt push me to do anything i dont wana do.
iloveyou david

-brittney <3

First it IS about growth and development. You show your immaturiuty by thinking otherwise. You say its natural and that's why, because you and your boyfriend have both reached an age where your bodily development makes sex enjoyable and when hormones increase the sex drive.

Second you say its not an experiment, but in doing so, you are denying your impulses. The first time you had sex, you did so because you were doing things that stimulated you. You had not felt such stimulation before so you wanted to experiment with what you were feeling.

Third, sex is not bad, but, at your age, it is wrong. If it wasn't why would you "kinda regret it"? And why would you not tell your parents about it? What you are really doing is lying to yourself.

Fourth, at your ages you really don't know what love is. You just haven't had the experience to. Maybe you and your boyfriend will stick together and get married someday, but the odds are way against it.

Finally, and here comes the biggie. Are you using protection? What happens if you get pregnant? What do you think you are going to do at 14 with a baby? And if that happens, there is a possibility your boyfriend will go to jail for statutory rape. NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse until they are financially, physically and emotionally prepared to have a child. YOU ARE NOT!

Your response here is really a rationalization on your part to justify your having sex when you shouldn't. You don't want to feel you have done something wrong, so you come up with reasons it is OK for you to have sex. As you can see, I've refuted all your rationalizations. I strongly suggest that you stop having sexual intercourse with your boyfriend immediately. If you don't you are heading for almost certain trouble.

Exactly Judy. Sadly, most of the other teens won't see it as that, they'll think, hmm, this 13 year old child is having sex, only sorta regrets it, maybe I should do it too.

Whatever happened to chastity belts? I think we should bring them back. :(



Rings, they've been replaced by virginity rings. Virginity rings are apparently easier to take off.

I like the odd combination of "I'm having sex" and "text speak."

Yeah.

I'm starting to personally believe that anyone that can't spell the word as "you" instead of "u" isn't old enough to have sex.

And that includes the 20-somethings always posting in Adult Sexuality using chat speak.

I've personally grown fond of the answers on the various adult boards. Then you check the other posts by the same person and discover the person answering is in 9th grade.

Someone on the legal board just told me that she can use text speak if she so wishes - and so there.

Maybe I'll take off my virginity ring and buy a text speak ring.

Duhh.

Whatever happened to chastity belts? I think we should bring them back. :(

What ever happened to parental control? Parental responsibility?
I remember there being a time that children under 16 simply were never allowed an opportunity to be left alone or unsupervised in order for sex to occur! Minors have sex when they are left without responsible supervision. Plain and simple.

Handing out condoms at school? No way! Instead they should be handing out chastity belts at PTA meetings!

Tell you what, though--you tell me how a single parent can make sure their teenager is supervised at all times, especially when that teenager has a job and a car, or friends with cars. Do you hover constantly, sitting in the same room with teens so that they go hang out at some OTHER friend's house, where the parents are "cooler"?

There really IS no pat answer to this, unless you bring back harder divorces, social stigma associated with single parenthood and divorce, and make kids get married when they "get in trouble". Or, at the very least, make teenagers AND THEIR PARENTS responsible for the bill of an unplanned pregnancy--NO WELFARE, including WIC and food stamps, without a high school diploma.

If we weren't PAYING for these babies, you can bet your sweet a$s that kids wouldn't be trying to be single parents at 14.