Hi all, This is the first time I had ever, put down my thoughts on the internet , in hope of really seeking opinions from people around the world.

I want to thank all of you in advance, if you had spend time to read what I had written here. Thank You. :)

This is going to be a long story, so I would tried my best to keep the story short.

My Ex-girlfriend and I had been together for more than one and half years. Throughout the relationship, we were very happy. We would spend times together, with my family and with her family as well. I tried to do things with her family and really hope I can be in good terms with them.

For Me, I had always being single in my life till I met her. The reason being is I want to have a committed and long term relationship. That is why I don't get into a relationship so easily because I fear the breakup process. She is the first women I had put my whole heart to, and always without fail, make her the first priority in life. ( for whatever the reason if she needs me, I will definitely be there to meet her even if I had to thrown my studies or on hand task aside.

The relationship initially was very great. I can sense she loved me a lot, try to do things for me and even sometime when we had small or big arguments, she would spend the time and effort with me, sit down and compromise and change for each other. Suddenly it all changed, she is not putting me in her first priority anymore or should I say I am not that important to her anymore. She would rather spend time with others and her family but not me. And when she spend too much time on her studies and I felt neglected, if I would comment... or feedback to her even in a nice way, she would end up getting frustrated, and both of us will become depress and we cannot communicate anymore. And then after that she would need time to be alone to recover, which really kills me.

To keep things short, late last year after a big argument, she broke off with me, although she never directly told me about the breakoff but she avoided me for a very long time. So end up I called her, and ask about it , she say maybe is over. So I assume is over.

But after the breakoff, she contacted me like good friends and we started chatting. And we happen to talk about the relationship again and she say she actually had enough of me, she think I am not a person that can support her. And in one of the statement she say : "what if one day i end up supporting you?" etc. and she treats the break up as a break... and told me stuff like, maybe one day we can patch back. Which confuses me.

But still deep inside me, I cannot believe she can leave me just like that , because of a big agrument. I had never had any intention to leave her before, even when I am so tired about the argument, so tired about her being not always there for me when I needed her, even during big arguments, during time when she is seriously depress even when she had problems. I never in fact have a slightest mindset of leaving her for the better.

But, deep in my heart I still love her, so I tried to change myself, I don't demand anything from her, even she is to do her work or studies till having no time for me, I also won't complain. So somehow, I changed and we manage to patch back again.

After we had patched back, things changed, I didn't demand much, but one day we went into a small agrument again. I though is something small, but to her she needs some recovery time before she can be back to normal with me. I felt so tired of this recovery time.

Somehow, after the recovery time, one day she called me and both of us met-up. I though everything is going to be okay, but when she saw me, she gave me a very irritated look and told me she is very frustrated. She is so frustrated about friends whom ask her about me, very frustrated about everything. I try to pamper her with words and try to change to a lighter topic, but she just keep saying she is very frustrated and wouldn't want to get near to me. I cannot hold her hands etc. I feel damm lousy and damm sad that, the love you love find you frustrating and is like so fearful of you.

So I though of it and eventually, told her that I know what she meant, I say to her that.. I really love her but I cannot bear to see her feeling so sad and frustrated with me. I love her, I really want her to be happy, but I cannt make her happy anymore , I really did all my best to salvage the relationship with her. I change , I really never demand much from her already, but to her, her tolerance level of me is no longer there anymore. No matter what I say to her or say if I want a dinnner with her, if she cannot, and I feel upset, she will become very frustrated with me. Everything I say is like a thorn to her.

I feel so sad, but I had no choice but to let her go. I really cannot bear it. But what's the point if she is not happy.

So end up, I told her what she wanted to hear, the break off. And I apologise to her for wanting to try the relationship again with me for the 2nd time. And in order for her to have someone to talk to, which she told me she need it, I called one of her family member over to our conversation, to tell her what had happen. So that her family member can comfort her at least when I am away.

I feel very embarrassed, during the conversation because I cried in the process, but at least I know this is the last thing I can do for her as she told me she need my help to convey this issue to someone in her family.

Is being almost around 1 month + since the 2nd break off. I admit that I still had feelings for her, But I know she don't anymore. She seems to move on very well. Meeting with friends, new people. Being more independent now.

Recently I met her again, she invited me to a meal, as a form of treat to my birthday. After I had met her, I had mixed feelings again.

Maybe I am just very immature, I am always thinking about what is wrong, what did I do wrong, why, why is it wrong to put her as the first priority, why she suddenly change so much. Why or how could she suddenly lose her feeling for me so fast.

~sigh... is there really such a thing of loving a person too much till you force her away? Is it really wrong? Is there really a committed relationship in this world? Or people will just tend to leave for better people.

Anyway so sorry guys for such a long whinny message. So boring right? Haha.sorry

Thanks to anyone that spend time to read my boring story... hope you guys have a nice day.

You sound as if you were a very good boyfriend.Your post is not whiny or boring :)

There is a saying *nice guys finish last*.

What that means to me is that the nice guy gets taken advantage of and a man that is always subservient to a woman is often not respected as a *man* by the woman.

Many women sees this as a weakness.

Many young woman want the bad boy type.Whether it is because of the challenge or because they think they can change them,I don't know.

As women get older and mature I think this type of behavior lessens. It is then when they can get nothing but the bad boys they regret the nice one that they rejected.

Maybe you were too giving and she she saw this as a weakness.

I would not change who you are.There is someone out there who would truly love to have a man who is kind and understanding.

Not everyone is out to find *someone better*. Just selfish people who have over inflated egos and think the world revolves around them.

Take this painful experience and learn from it and I suspect in the future you will make someone very happy.

Good luck!

So the best I can say is you weren't that great of a match.

You were threatened when she spent time on her studies or with others. Sorry. A person with many friends and interests is a grounded person. You sound insecure in this section of your post.

She doesn't think you can support her... which might mean she thinks you are too much work for her. It happens.

I don't think you loved her so much you forced her away... I think you loved her, but not as she needed, and that's what forced her away.

Sometimes you love a person you can't be with, or who can't be with you.

None of this means you are a bad boyfriend... but it might mean you weren't a good fit for her, at this time.

You are not a bad boyfriend for loving her and putting her first. However she is not a bad girlfriend for feeling suffocated. It sounds like she just needs time to get her life together withschool and being independent. You might have been holding on a little too tight. Therefor getting frustrated because you may not understand. I have one question for you, how old are you and she? Age has a lot to do with it. I am sensing you both are in your early 20's. If so then that is normal for her or you to feel that way. Being that I am a woman, I can tell you right now girls/women like to feel independent and some not all like a little bit of a chalenge from men. So with that being said, I think you should cherrish the memories that you had with her and move on. Don't be a beck and call boy, and if she tries to call you I would miss a few of those calls. Let her feel like you have moved on. Cause you never know, she might get turned on even more and want you back. Haha Good luck with that

She is the first women I had put my whole heart to, and always without fail, make her the first priority in life. ( for whatever the reason if she needs me, I will definitely be there to meet her even if I had to thrown my studies or on hand task aside.

Not everyone will agree with me on this point, and that's fine - I just want to offer you another perspective here. While it's encouraged to have your partner as a priority in your life, I'm a firm believer in that you should always keep yourself the first priority in your life. Doing so not only allows you to always bring the best of yourself to the relationship but also reminds you that you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness. Remember, relationships should augment and bring additional happiness to your life, not be the sole source of it.

I have to agree with artlady in that many women will react to you putting them ahead of yourself as a sign of weakness. I want to add that this will also cause most to start losing attraction for you.


~sigh... is there really such a thing of loving a person too much till you force her away? Is it really wrong?

If woman feels they are smothered by your affection or feels that you are too clingy, then yes it can force her away. Each individual in a relationship typically needs to have their own space once in awhile.

I honestly don't think you're a bad guy at all. I just think that you ultimately fell into the trap that many guys do - you get so overwhelmed with feelings of love that you lose yourself in the relationship because its very easy to do.

Hi artlady, kp2171 , arnimal7. Thank you so much for spending time to reply to my story or question.

I am 25 this year and she is in early 20s.

Anyway, I would like to add on something about what really went wrong in the last episode. I think is a very bad incident which shows that I am pushy to her I think.

When we patch back, there was this moment, after not going out together for like 2 weeks, she finally decided to spend time with me to accompany me to buy some stuff.

So in the process I was very happy, I waked up earlier to buy the breakfast she would like to eat and went over to give her a surprise. She was very happy and after that we proceed on to have our outing.

But suddenly, in the bus when I stroke her hair, stand very close to her, she suddenly feel very down. Is like very sad etc. So out of concern, I ask her what happen, did I do anything wrong or there's just something you she don't like?

Her reply was : " i dont know, dont ask me!"... after awhile she seems very frustrated. I am very confuse by then so I ask her out of concern : "hmm.. sorry i really might not be able to understand sometimes, but it would be good if you could tell me abit about whats going on?"

But she just get more frustrated and say Don't Know! Then we sit down quietly at some place and I keep my mouth shut and then after awhile I send her home.

The next day, I though she is okay so I went to find her and ask her whether it would be okay for her to have dinner with me? She say no, she will be going home to rest.

So I was quite disappointed, then when she ask me about what am I going to do now, I say
I wanted to stay with her in the computer room awhile before she left. She then get very pissed off and get very frustrated, crunching her fist and getting real angry and boiled up. Haha is sort of like the role is reverse between a guy and a women.

After that I try to calm her down, but she doesn't want me to be near to her. So stupidly and confuse me , ask her : " seriously, am i important to you?" I mean previously so many occasion, you ask me to have dinner with you to wait for you in school, I just push everything away for you because you need a person to accompany you in school till late.

She then replied : " important? important VERY important..so important that i want to marry you now you know...must as well marry you now ! "

I felt very sad, after which a lot of commotion took place, which makes us both want to break down.

Hmm one question is that, is it wrong to ask what happen to your parnter if she's feeling down? Or should one be quiet and hope she would tell you instead.

And lastly, is it wrong to be too frank to someone you loved on the levels of sharing to them how you feel?

Okz, I should stop whinning so much now, thanks a lot sincerely to you guys and anyone that can really give me your opinions on my situation. Because I really feel abit of the low self esteem, wanting to know what's wrong with me after she had decided to left me.

Your welcome. You know, when I was like 20, There was this guy that I dated and he was smart, nice, compassionate, so on and so forth. He put me first all of the time, pretty much did any and everything for me. Everything was great with him and I saw us being married but there was that one thing that I couldn't figure out. I just couldn't give him my all. For what ever reason I still to this day don't know. So maybe she loves you but really doesn't love you.

She then replied : " important? important VERY important..so important that i want to marry you now you know...must as well marry you now ! "

Not sure I understand what was meant here, but for sure you were a bit to clingy and always trying to fix things for her. Knowing when to back off, and give a partner space to breath, and grow, is a lot better than making her your ONLY priority.

BALANCE your life with other things, and she can appreciate you more, when you do get together, if you do. Your inexperienced, and need to learn, you will, if not with her, with another.

I suggest you back off, and leave her alone for a while, and focus on your own happiness, so you will have something good to share.

And when she spend too much time on her studies and i felt neglected, if i would comment ...or feedback to her even in a nice way, she would end up getting frustrated, and both of us will become depress and we cannot communicate anymore. and then after that she would need time to be alone to recover, which really kills me.
I had a girlfriend that would nag like that, she drove me nuts. And who are you to say what's too much time?



hmm one question is that, is it wrong to ask what happen to your parnter if she's feeling down? Or should one be quiet and hope she would tell you instead.

It ain't wrong, but after a while of hearing "I'm fine" when you know she's really not, you should just learn to take what the say at face value and go about your business. Yeah, it's unhealthy and annoying, but blasting her with questions doesn't seem to be working either.



and lastly, is it wrong to be too frank to someone you loved on the levels of sharing to them how you feel?

That's actually a really good question. My first serious girlfriend, when I was 18, told a mutual friend, "sometimes he's too honest", I told her everything, all the time, so often that I'm sure only half of it was true. Since then, I've learned to say only what needs to be said; less is more.

Slapshot, your second point is dead on. As bad as it sounds, if my fiancé is bothered and I know she is, I'll ask maybe once or twice what's wrong. If she says "nothing" or "i'm fine" I go about my business, I feel if she wants to talk about it, she will when she is ready. I hate being bothered when something is wrong with me. Especially if I am just trying to figure it out myself.

hi guys thanks for the replies. I appreciate all of the respond.

Guess I am just too clingy on her or maybe I should say... without knowing, I am too used to do things with her, together with her.

I guess I am really sucky in relationship. I though I could give her happiness by putting her as first priority, being honest with her with how I feel and always be there for her. But I didn't realize so much that it becomes or I becomes clingy and needy.

Is it always true that no matter what, guys should not be clingy to their partners? Shouldn't spend too much time with their partners?

Is it there a relationship that both clings to each other? ( OK maybe my question sound stupid... sorry) =X

I need to grow up and learn. I am really feeling like a failure now. Is like I force the one I love away.

hi guys thanks for the replies. i appreciate all of the respond.

Guess i am just too clingy on her or maybe i should say...without knowing, i am too used to do things with her, together with her.

i guess i am really sucky in relationship. I though i could give her happiness by putting her as first priority, being honest with her with how i feel and always be there for her. But i didnt realize so much that it becomes or i becomes clingy and needy.

Is it always true that no matter what, guys should not be clingy to their partners? shouldnt spend too much time with their partners?

Is it there a relationship that both clings to each other? ( ok maybe my question sound stupid...sorry) =X

I need to grow up and learn. i am really feeling like a failure now. Is like i force the one i love away.


Relationships are a learning experience, period. It is all about finding a BALANCE between the lives of the partners involved...

hi guys thanks for the replies. i appreciate all of the respond.

Guess i am just too clingy on her or maybe i should say...without knowing, i am too used to do things with her, together with her.

i guess i am really sucky in relationship. I though i could give her happiness by putting her as first priority, being honest with her with how i feel and always be there for her. But i didnt realize so much that it becomes or i becomes clingy and needy.

Is it always true that no matter what, guys should not be clingy to their partners? shouldnt spend too much time with their partners?

Is it there a relationship that both clings to each other? ( ok maybe my question sound stupid...sorry) =X

I need to grow up and learn. i am really feeling like a failure now. Is like i force the one i love away.

It looks like this was your first serious relationship so don't be too hard on yourself. If I had to guess, less than 99.99% of all people ever get it right the first time. Believe me, I thought that giving my all to the girl that I loved was the right way to go too - little did I know that revolving my life around her and ignoring my own was not healthy for me or the relationship.

True failure exists only when we refuse to learn the lessons presented from an experience. Once you're in the right frame of mind, compare the lessons you you have learned to the price you have paid, and you'll find every time that the lesson is truly a bargain.

Look, if I have any clue about what I say, and some would say I don't have a clue, its because I made mistakes. Many of them. Over and over. Idiot things. Dumb moves. Been there, done that.

I've smothered a girl with too much attention.

I've forced too much distance with another.

I've spent hours planning how to wrap my life around a woman's life.

I've neglected a love for selfish, hurtful reasons.

We aren't saints here. At best, were reformed "sinners" who have learned from the mistakes we've made or the mistakes we've seen others make.

So... maybe you are too clingy. I think that is amplified right now because of her behavior. She isn't exactly calming you down or reassuring.

I can't speak for what's going on in her mind. My experience is when someone acts like she does, over and over, and it isn't just an "off week"... she's walking around the lines of a breakup and just doesn't know what to do. Leave the security? Test the waters?

There's no "perfect match" formula that makes all happy. Some people like to dote on their love. Some don't. Some people like to focus all their time and interest on their love. Some need time to themselves, for their friends, family, etc.

So... like I said. You might not be a "bad bf"... but you might be, or she might be, a bad match. Good people who care about each other, but don't quite mesh in enough ways.

She's clearly feeling pressure. Whether that's from you... or whether that's of her own making, wondering... or both... I don't know.

You can't save a relationship by solely your actions. You also usually don't get to take all the blame. Something is off here and until you both address it, whatever the underlying issue, you are just going to go back and forth with up and down emotions. One moments its great. Next its not.

You are trying to deal with the symptoms. Her stress. Her outbreaks.

That isn't what you need to deal with. You need to understand the real cause behind this. Is she really happy or not? Is she interested perhaps in someone else? Is she needing to focus on school and a relationship is too much work right now? Are there issues with money? Grades? Family? etc...

Maybe the problem is you. Or not. If you can't talk to her calmly about what she is going through and she can't talk to you calmly about what is going on... I don't see much future here... not without resolving whatever is going on.

She needs to learn to talk to you about what she honestly feels. You need to be open and willing to hear the truth, whatever that is.

Is it always true that no matter what, guys should not be clingy to their partners? shouldnt spend too much time with their partners?

Is it there a relationship that both clings to each other? ( ok maybe my question sound stupid...sorry) =X

I think we've all been there, in fact I did it with the last girl I dated. Naturally, she broke up with me.

Being clingy is bad because it screams insecurity and people just can't respect that, and in my last "relationship" (a 2-monther) I was insecure. I constantly worried about her ex killing himself or one of us and the fact I was still in college living off beer and spaghetti while she was off making over 60K a year driving an '08 Camery; I was so insecure so I'd try and "win her heart" via nice-guy syndrome.

If you have your girlfriend on a pedestal and emulating what you think is her ideal man, how is your girlfriend ever going to learn and grow with you?

slapshot_oi , kp2171, UnluckyDucky, kctiger, Romefalls19, talaniman,arnimal7, artlady, thanks for all your reply. The opinions you gave really did help me thought through a lot.
Thanks also for some that even share their personal experience as an example.

KP2171 , thanks, your last reply was so excellent, maybe its really that we are not a real match or for her maybe she had already given up hope on me.

I still remember our first break off happens, when she really did things she know that I doesn't like and we agreed before not to do it. So of course, I become frustrated that I feedback to her, then she say she had enough of me.

The fact is that, previously whenever we had a serious argument or misunderstanding, we would really spend time together and try to compromise each other. I mean really willingly spend the effort to see where we are heading to.

But till recently, it is not happening anymore. I wanted very much to try, at least communicate about what's wrong or at least communicate to one another when misunderstanding happens. But every time a small misunderstanding happens, she will walk away or want to be alone, away from me.

The first break off she say " she is very happy with me, but am really exhausted."

The second break off came about with me letting her go because she feel very frustrated and feel very comfortable with me. Once she saw me, she would become frustrated.

Anyhow, guys thanks, but I hope I can still ask all of you a question. Hope you guys don't find me irritating... haha...

Recently I had met up with her again for a short meal. I found that she had changed a lot, really not like what I used to be with anymore.

Previously during the first few weeks of the 2nd break off, she would still sms me now and then, but now she doesn't.

Actually deep inside, I somehow feel got some feelings for her, because she is the first women that I love and really spend a lot of effort into the relationship.

Should I move on? Should I adopt the no contact rule? I don't know what I should do now. When I see her, I would have mixed feelings.

Thank you for all your response in advance. :)
Hope you guys had a nice and wonderful weekends.

To be attached to another is human, and breaking that attachment is one of the hardest things you will ever do. Yes, cutting all contact with her allows the emotional dust to settle enough for you to cope with your feelings, and not have them stirred up, or confused by the ex.

Then you can make better decisions for yourself, based on facts and not just those strong intense feelings you have. By in large, that's the best way to go.

Man, I'm in exactly the same position as you. I'm 25, she's 30. At first everything was amazing, we got along just so incredibly well. Then all in a sudden, someday, there came about the question of "space". What I don't quite understand is that why was she spending every minute with me at the beginning then all in a sudden when the relationship has reached a new level she starts talking about how little space I gave her and how clingy I am.

I'm only going by a small amount of information you've provided, but you've mentioned how she spends her time. She works, goes to school, tries to make time to spend with friends... sounds as though she has a pretty busy life. What you didn't mention is how you spend your time, but it sounds like you've got extra time on your hands if you're so easily able to drop everything to be with her. She could be feeling smothered and pressured to make time for you that she really doesn't have to spare. She could also be frustrated if she doesn't see you having specific direction in your life. What are YOUR dreams? What are YOUR goals? What do YOU want out of the next 60 years of your life? And what are you doing right now to accomplish that?

I'm only going by a small amount of information you've provided, but you've mentioned how she spends her time. She works, goes to school, tries to make time to spend with friends... sounds as though she has a pretty busy life. What you didn't mention is how you spend your time, but it sounds like you've got extra time on your hands if you're so easily able to drop everything to be with her. She could be feeling smothered and pressured to make time for you that she really doesn't have to spare. She could also be frustrated if she doesn't see you having specific direction in your life. What are YOUR dreams? What are YOUR goals? What do YOU want out of the next 60 years of your life? And what are you doing right now to accomplish that?

Hi smalltowngal, she doesn't work but both of us are in the same school right now. She's not someone that always went out with friends but she is someone that is very focus in studies.
To start with, I too have my studies and assignment to deal with, my hobbies, my own family , my own friends, my own plans of getting a job after I graduate.

Anyway, my extra time came about because I cancel my friends outing plan or study plan to be with her. This is because she is very focused in study, and I respect her for that, so in order to compromise, if I had my own outing plan etc, I would cancel mine so that I would be free during moments when she is free. If I don't, I would not be possible to really spend time with her.
Sometime I wonder whether is it okay do that for the one you really loved. Is like During our anniversary last year, I would do all the planning of surprises, gifts etc, but because she is very busy studying, she didn't prepare anything but I too have my exams.

Maybe my thinking is wrong, such that for the one we loved we should sometimes sacrifice some of own priority for the time being.

Frankly speaking, after being with her for so long, I really have the intention to settle down with her, so my life had really changed quite a lot. I often want to do things together with her, she too did the same but as times goes by, she slowly distant away wanting her own space time. After which I gave her all the space time she could, and try to comprise my time with her, my changing my own schedule to fit hers.

Since you would so easily drop things like studying, maybe she feels that you don't take life seriously enough. I can understand changing plans with friends now and then in order to be with her, or better again, have her join in with your group. Cancelling study plans is never a good idea. In a healthy relationship, you don't have to sacrifice the things that should be priority. You instead find ways to compromise.

Sometimes you just have to accept their feelings have changed and no matter how you sacrifice and compromise, you are not as compatible over the long run. I think until you are the one who have a change of heart, you will never understand how she feels, or why she left, despite your best actions and intentions. Its one of those things that you have no control over.

The first break off she say " she is very happy with me, but am really exhausted."

The second break off came about with me letting her go because she feel very frustrated and feel very comfortable with me. Once she saw me, she would become frustrated.

Anyhow, guys thanks, but i hope i can still ask all of you a question. hope you guys dont find me irritating...haha...

Recently i had met up with her again for a short meal. I found that she had changed alot, really not like what i used to be with anymore.

Previously during the first few weeks of the 2nd break off, she would still sms me now and then, but now she doesnt.

Actually deep inside, i somehow feel got some feelings for her, because she is the first women that i love and really spend alot of effort into the relationship.

Should i move on? should i adopt the no contact rule? I don't know what i should do now. When i see her, i would have mixed feelings.

Thank you for all your response in advance. :)
Hope you guys had a nice and wonderful weekends.


Sorry guys, could anyone, please advice me on what should I do now. Should I still keep in contact with my ex? I am confuse... thanks all

sorry guys, could anyone, please advice me on what should i do now. Should i still keep in contact with my ex? I am confuse... thanks all

No... move on with your life. It is you first love, so you are going to be blinded by emotions, but don't let the emotions carry you away.

You need some time apart. She's quick to change directions. You are all over the place. You both need to step back.

Is she online trying to salvage this relationship? How hard is she trying to convince you that you are right for her?

If all you are doing is trying to keep her close, then you are doing all the work... and at this point, I think she needs some distance. You might think stepping back means you let her go... not so much. Stepping back means you and she face reality... that things aren't quite right at this moment and you both need to think about yourselves, not the relationship.

She might have an honest change of heart. Or not.

But id absolutely be polite and kind, but step away some. The sudden ups and downs aren't OK. You might be worried about her moving on without you... what about her? Is she worried about you moving on? At this time, probably not.

So step away, reduce or stop contact, focus on yourself and not her.

Stop being there to please her. Stop being an emotional butler. Your job is not to "make" her happy... it is for you to be a happy person that she wants to be with, or not, but nonetheless... for you to be happy with yourself.

I know, its oversimplified. Being with another person adds other dimensions... and most relationships involve some kind of compromise... but she's acting like you are smothering her and she's acting like she needs some space.

Give it. Even if you don't want to.

is she online trying to salvage this relationship? how hard is she trying to convince you that you are right for her?

Hi Kp2171, yah since the first break off, I had been the only one who want to salvage the relationship. I promise to change, change to meet her demands to meet the changes in her. I plead , I beg , I cried, I try to change whatever I could so that she could be with me again because I love her , I so think that she is the one that I want to settle down with.

I am blinded by my emotions, because everytiime I want to move on, I would think of her, the greats times that I had with her and the old her... the nice and sweet old her.

Most people think that I am clingy, needy, it is true. But since the patched back, I hardly demand anytime from her, only when she wants to meet me. I gave her space that she wanted, we only would sms each other or meet up with each other once awhile, when she is free.

But in the end, I still was unable to cope with her sudden throw of tantrum. She can suddenly get frustrated and angry with me. And if I show that I am upset or pissed off too, she will say that she needs time alone from me again.then I will be left in a confused state again without knowing why, since I cannot ask her why.

You sound as if you were a very good boyfriend.Your post is not whiny or boring :)

There is a saying *nice guys finish last*.

What that means to me is that the nice guy gets taken advantage of and a man that is always subservient to a woman is often not respected as a *man* by the woman.

Many women sees this as a weakness.

Many young woman want the bad boy type.Whether it is because of the challenge or because they think they can change them,I don't know.

As women get older and mature I think this type of behavior lessens. It is then when they can get nothing but the bad boys they regret the nice one that they rejected.

Maybe you were too giving and she she saw this as a weakness.

I would not change who you are.There is someone out there who would truly love to have a man who is kind and understanding.

Not everyone is out to find *someone better*. Just selfish people who have over inflated egos and think the world revolves around them.

Take this painful experience and learn from it and I suspect in the future you will make someone very happy.

Good luck!


I mean "he" by mr. pigz by the way

Friends and everyone who viewed my thread, thanks. This is an update of what's going on.

Recently, I visted her myspace. She seems so happy meeting new people and going out with her friends. Previously when we met or got to communicate with one another, she would somehow mention to me about her guy friends. Things like what her guy friends mention to her , giving tickets to her guy friends, meeting them more often etc.

So far, I think she had really move on. Got busy with her studies and also going out to have fun.

Come to think of it, its really very sad, that previously whenever I asked her out, she would say she is busy with schoolwork etc, busy with family. But somehow when I left her, she is not that busy anymore, she could take out time, go out more often and have fun. Haha

So I think I am the most convenient source of reason for her stress and sadness. I sux big time. Haha

Thoughts still floods in my mind, the day that I let go of her because she is tired of being with me. One of her family members told me, " i think she still likes you, can you please dont rule out the possibility that you 2 will patch back?"

I Had mixed feelings, I am angry that she could just dump me and the relationship away so easily, where in fact when she throw tantrum or get depressed or when I felt tie down by her quick change of emotions, I never had any intentions of leaving her but to bear with it and try to compromise. However,I am still grateful and so in love with the old her.

i mean "he" by mr. pigz btw

Hi ana, sorry but what does that mean? Haha... =X

Look at the first post by art lady

mrpigz;1574817, Friends and everyone who viewed my thread, thanks. This is an update of what's going on.

Recently, I visited her myspace. She seems so happy meeting new people and going out with her friends. Previously when we met or got to communicate with one another, she would somehow mention to me about her guy friends. Things like what her guy friends mention to her , giving tickets to her guy friends, meeting them more often etc.
Its a big red flag when exes start to confide in you about others guys. Thats what GIRL friends are for. So now you have been demoted from boyfriend to ex-boyfriend, to girlfriend, and thats not good.
So far, I think she had really move on. Got busy with her studies and also going out to have fun.
Thats what she wanted to do and is doing, and why not??
Come to think of it, its really very sad, that previously whenever I asked her out, she would say she is busy with schoolwork etc, busy with family. But somehow when I left her, she is not that busy anymore, she could take out time, go out more often and have fun. Haha
Surely you don't expect her to give up her freedom, do you?? Not while she is enjoying herself! That makes no sense since she can do what ever she wants now.
So I think I am the most convenient source of reason for her stress and sadness. I sux big time. Haha
Thats a possibility, a very strong possibility.
Thoughts still floods in my mind, the day that I let go of her because she is tired of being with me. One of her family members told me, " i think she still likes you, can you please don't rule out the possibility that you 2 will patch back?"
You haven't let go of anything and thats the bad part, because if you did, you would be doing a lot of other things with other people and leaving her alone. Doesn't matter what her friends say, because if they really knew what they were talking about, they wouldn't be stirring up false hope in you.
I Had mixed feelings, I am angry that she could just dump me and the relationship away so easily, where in fact when she throw tantrum or get depressed or when I felt tie down by her quick change of emotions, I never had any intentions of leaving her but to bear with it and try to compromise. However,I am still grateful and so in love with the old her.
Its all well and good, but it really is time to see the bigger picture and really let her go. Fine to have good memories, but remember the tantrums and mood swings you had to go thru. They are gone to, so now you can heal, be healthy, and be in a healthy relationship with a happy healthy person who cares for you, but first YOU HAVE TO LET THIS ONE GO.

Thanks talaniman.

Anyway, I just find it very hard , that first she is my first love. Second, I had put in so many effort and love in this relationship. Third, she could just go off so easily.

The feelings really sux big time, I feel like a fool. An idiot.

Guys, what do you do? If the love that you had constantly put in effort in, is lost.
The love one just simply CAN leave you so easily.

After forcing you to break up with her then tells you that you are still her friend and then moving so well.

Throughout my relationship with her, I always had given her my attention, my assurance that I would not leave her for better, no matter what happens to her, and be always there for her.

I still remember,when I was working part-part, I would every time run to her when I got my month pay. I would treat her to hotel's high tea buffets, buy her things that she like, because I want to share the joy with her and make her happy.
But now, she never thinks of all the good things that I had done to her anymore.

Sorry guys, I think I am grieving about the lost. But I just cannot help it, because it hurts so bad under the circumstances that she is my first love and I am so serious in this relationship.

I fear that I cannot find my true love.

Also, I really have a phobia now. Its like if you treat someone you loved wholeheartedly without holding back anything, she will run away from you. Is this true?

Sorry guys, is it OK for me to grieve and share my feelings here?

Yes, you can grieve and share your feelings here. And you are absolutely NOT an idiot or a fool. This just simply wasn't the right girl for you. That's all there was to it. There's nothing you did or could have done that would have changed that fact. And when the next relationship comes, you should continue to just be you and do all the things you want to do to show her your love. When you do find the right girl, she will appreciate all of those wonderful qualities that you have and she will love you for being so good to her. It's okay to be sad. Only a cold and heartless person wouldn't be.

That first break up sucks for sure, but they all do! I kissed a lot of frogs before I found my queen, so will you. Never be ashamed of showing your love, as with the right person, its well worth the risk. She didn't appreciate what you did, that's her loss, not yours. Your free to find a better partner, and be happy, after you have healed.

Soon you will see that being single is great, and you'll look deeper into the next one, and decide is she worth the risk or not. Like the healing process, choosing a good partner takes time, and there is no hurry.

The really good news is you can date them all, and then make a choice, if you take your time by being true to yourself, and willing to share your happiness. Heal, and go kiss some frogs.

i fear that i cannot find my true love.

Also, i really have a phobia now. Its like if you treat someone you loved wholeheartedly without holding back anything, she will run away from you. Is this true?


So after my first Big Love ended... a girl with whom id planned a life with, altered schools for, altered life plans for, and talked in detail about marriage in the later years of that 6 year relationship... I found myself one night seriously wondering

"am i ever going to find someone again? ever going to have this kind of relationship again? and am i going to be alone?"...

Well... yes. no. yes and no.

Yes... I found other loves. Sure it took time, but there's a few billion people on this earth and there is no One that is your Soul Mate, in my opinion. There might be a lot of people who won't fit into my life quite right, but there's more than one person out there for me.

Now... I'm married. My wife is too. (joke) but I don't say that to diminish my relationship. I just know she's a good woman and could find another good man, in time, if I wasn't around. "soul mates" is a term people use to elevate a relationship about those that other mortals have.

I don't buy it.

Every woman I loved dearly, I loved differently. No relationship will be the same... and that's good. I mean, if it were the same, itd end the same.

I could finish the sentences and thoughts of my first big love, I knew her so well. My next big love had a playfulness about her, and we had a sexual tension that was just amazing, and then the next love connected more with me intellectually and spiritually... each love was different.

As for the issue of holding back... hard to answer this simply.

I do think it's a mistake to completely open yourself up to a person in the context of wanting too much too soon. A little mystery is good.

Everybody is different in their likes, but I've always been most attracted to strong women who are driven, who have friends, lives, careers, who didn't want to make the relationship The Reason to be together. It wasn't about working hard on the relationship... it was about having good, natural overlap.

When I was younger and inexperienced, I spent more time and effort into trying to perpetuate relationships... which causes you to lose yourself if you aren't careful... later on I learned that, yes, every realationship take work and effort, but the best relationships (for me, at least) are designed around being both an individual and being together.

So... will giving all of yourself to another person drive them away? Perhaps, if done too soon.

Don't forget, you need to be "chased" too... you need the girl to want to be with you, to need to be with you... and often people are happy when both sides are willing to chase a little, and then be chased some.

At least that's what works for me.

Thank you guys for all the encouragement. I really appreciate it and really need it. Now I know what I need to do. I need to find closure to end of my current relationship. But the problem with me is , I had not totally let go yet. Some stupid part of my brain, still hoping she will regret the decision of leaving. I really don't know when I could stop thinking about this. I hate myself for thinking and thinking about her.

Guys, I am having NC with her now. I will try my best to stick to it.
However I do have a question. :confused:

When she dumped me, she apologize and said that we can still be friends. So all along, I am trying to act as a gentleman to be friend with her. But whenever I saw her or talk to her, my feeling will have a rollar coaster ride again, up and down.

Is it very petty or heartless if I go NC with her totally? But thinking of how she dump me and break the promise of being together, and how she make me break up with her, I find her heartless too. :(

Also, Guys, today, I went school and happen to saw her again. Then after that, I felt so miserable again. I suddenly drop my tears on the bus when I am going home, when I thought of how me and her spend time together in school. I guess my male hormones are declining... haha :eek:

Anyway, I really hate myself, that I still hoping that she would regret leaving me. I want to move on... :(

I am once a humorous person. But after she dump me, the feelings is just so devastating. I feel like I am no longer attractive, I am useless, I am boring, I am nothing but an emo guy with no good personality.

I am slowly becoming more withdrawn from friends. Not as chatty as before. I don't know what I should do.

Hi all, just an update, currently I am feeling so much better. I am slowly recovering and I am gaining back my confidence in myself. Busy with my own work and spending time with my old buddies and family.

I had being adapting back to my usual single life . With no worries, doing what I want. Haha... previously, when I am attached, I'm always doing everything for her, everything I did she would be my first priority.

But right now I do really understand that, I am the sole of my own happiness. And in order to make other people happy, I should be happy first.

Thank You everyone for the advice.

Anyway, recently, my ex had drop me a short sms, asking how am I, and whether I am doing my school work well, encouraging me not to give up on my school work.

Is she concern or just being guilty that she had dumped me?

Guys can you all comment on this please ?

Thank you in advance.

At this point, take it as concern for a friend, and NOTHING more.

Remember always that she has had a head start in healing, and dealing with the shock of a break up and you have a ways to go. Its normal to be confused and easy to see false hope in any little thing she says and does. That's why no contact helps you get beyond that confusion, and false hope, so you can see things in a more realistic light, and cope with the truth of the situation.

Dumpers generally hate break ups too, but on an entirely different level. She may feel guilty for hurting your feelings, but she ain't changing her mind. Which is what the one dumped hopes for.

Hey Mrpigz,

I'm going through a similar thing. I'm starting to get the sense that I was holding my girlfriend to close and suffocating her. My ex however already had a new guy lined up right after me. She basically moved in with the guy. She said that he told her she can't always have her way and she changed for him. Is willing to do more things with this guys that she didn't do with me before because she was selfish and life seemed to revolve around her. It hurts that she made it seems so simple that all I had to do was talk to tell her she can't always get what she wanted.

And yeah I too find myself getting angry she is willing to do this for a new guy so quickly. But she wasn't really open to new ideas or things I wanted to go out and do while we dated.

Thanks talaniman. Is really very true about this statement ;

" Dumpers generally hate break ups too, but on an entirely different level. She may feel guilty for hurting your feelings, but she ain't changing her mind. Which is what the one dumped hopes for."

I will just treat it as a form of concern as a friend. Thanks

Hi everyone... is been nearly 2 months that I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Is kind of funny because I know she will not be back, and I know she had a changed of heart and I know I won't want her back for I am not important to her anymore.

But I just miss her... miss her a lot. Miss the good times we had, and the promise that I will take care of her forever.

I though I had been moving on well, with having NC with her, but once I am alone, I will think about her again.

I feel lousy again, that I think I am not good enough for anyone.

Help... don't know what to do...

You just deal with it, simple as that. These thoughts are normal... you miss the companionship more than anything. There is a difference between being alone, and being lonely... right now you feel lonely, but YOU ARE not alone, trust me. Just be proactive in rebuilding your life without her in it, and you will soon enjoy being with just yourself...

Mrpigz, you seem like a genuine person.
Also I want you to know that everything I'm saying here is coming from my personal experience and from my perspective...

It sounds like you were always there for her, which is good but not when she isn't sacrificing her time to spend time with you.
Im a study person too, so I would hate it if my partner would ask me to spend time with him. But I make sure he wouldn't need to ask me by being there for him. I would schedule my time out so I can have enough time to see him and study, and help out my family with small things. (But sometimes I really didn't have the time to spend time with my partner).
Your ex doesn't seem to appreciate you much.
Being clingy and showing affection is great! Personally I love it, and I can never be in a relationship with a man that isn't affectionate and clingy.
However, there is a limit to how much you can be clingy and affectionate to someone.
If your ex was also affectionate and clingy then your relationship could have lasted. In relationships you have to learn to adapt to the other persons needs, as long as they are reasonable, and must learn to grow together to be in the same stage.
You gave her more attention than she needed.
You sacrificed all your time to just be with her. You should have had a balance between your friends, your time, and her (but always hang out with your girl more than your friends, otherwise problems will occur).
My partner also is like you. He rarely goes out with his friends, and I hate it. I hate it because sometimes I just want to have my me time and just be a bum. But mainly, I encourage him to go out with his friends so he can learn to be less dependent on me.
Who knows, maybe that's what she wanted from you, to be more independent.
You sacrificing your time to meet up with your girlfriend gave her the freedom to be in control of the relationship you had with her. Therefore she new she had more power and knew that you will always be there for her. That's why it was very easy for her to just end the relationship.
I think your girlfriend wanted more from you, but what is was I don't know...

You said your ex said " what if one day i end up supporting you"... well I definitely have thought the same thing about my partner... Since I'm 22 years old, I have high ambitions (sound like your girl does too) but I feel like my partner (he is 25) is holding me back since he is very lazy and when he had to study he would keep it to the last minute, and I don't think he will work hard enough to get what he really wants because he is too lazy (he says it will change). I don't know you as a person, but do you think this is how your ex saw you? Because if it is, then sometimes it is enough to end a relationship, along with spending too much time with her.. (you said before that you worked and that you would go out and treat her when you got paid, so its kind of hard to believe that you won't support her, so its kind of confusing when she said she will end up supporting you, so maybe she just thinks she has higher ambitions that isn't compatible with yours (I don't know, just a guess)).
(Remember, sometimes spending too much time with someone is good, but it depends on that girl, you just have to learn to pick up the signs to know if your spending too much time or too little time).

Its definitely good to ask a person in a relationship what is wrong, it shows you care. But just ask it 2-3 times tops in a conversation because it can get really annoying if you keep asking.

I don't think you should completely have no contact with her. I think you should have it open. For now, I suggest that you don't contact her, but if she contacts you, like she did, then you should answer.
Some girls, not all, usually contact their ex, after there ex hasn't contacted them for a long time, because those girls still want their ex to be thinking about them and still have feelings for them, even if the girl is over them. I have seen this a lot in my lifetime. I don't know if your ex is like that, I'm just letting you know how some girls are..
Personally, I think your better than your ex. And I think her family would have wanted her to stay with you.. I'm happy you let her go, even thought you still love her. She didn't appreciate you, and she was tired of you.. Is that really the type of person you want?
I don't think you're a bad boyfriend... I don't know you so I don't really know the real reason why she pushed away... but so far you seem fine.
I wish you move on with your life and socialize, you'll feel much better. You have already gone 2 months without her. So I'm pretty sure you can go longer.

And, I think somewhere above there, you mentioned you had small fights with your ex and then she would just tell you that she needs space (not space, something like that).. anyway, if your girlfriend is anything like me, then those small fights that you had are actually big at that moment... not huge.. but big.. She was probably trying to tell you something about yourself that you didn't catch on to during those fights.. So you have a fight, then another fight, and another fight, and usually they all add up, and are usually all about the same thing but in a different form.. that's why they are big fights to some girls... (I don't know if this help, since I don't know if it relates to you and your ex, or if your ex is that type of girl,, but I just thought I should add it.. )... By the way, I liked how you and her communicating your fights together in the beginning of the relationship...

Don't let this relationship jeopardize your next relationship.. Just learn from this relationship and take what you learned to that new relationship, (even if you happen to get back together with your ex- although I think you should think twice before getting back)

Anyway.. I hope I helped... good luck!

Sh*t!! I wrote too much! Umm, sorry I guess...

By the way, i liked how you and her communicating your fights together in the beginning of the relationship...

Hey unspeaken21 , why did you need to say sorry for your long post!. ITS GREAT! THANK YOU SO MUCH!. I'm really grateful that you in fact read all my post and boring story from this thread. Also, am really really grateful that you share with me your thoughts. I mean from girls point of view is so different. And is like SPOT on.:eek:

unspeaken21, all the thoughts you shared with me on some of my scenario really do make me understand more about what girls think , and I do believe they are somehow true to what I had experience.

Anyway just to share with you, I am 25 and my ex is 22 too.

In the past, when we were together, we were very close, we did most things together and to me I had already decided that I want to give her the best and treat her as somehow the status of my family member.

Initially, when we had our first argument, we will not yell or scold each other, most of the time we do it by sharing our thoughts. I would feedback to her about what I am sad and unhappy about in a nice tone and manner, and really spend some time together sitting down to compromise each other about the problem in the argument.

I guess most of time,how the argument started is all due to the same thing. Initially there was no argument because I am somehow important to her and she would spend time with me or at least spend time together to solve the conflict.

But at the later stage of the relationship, the argument came in whenever, I feedback to her that I hope she can spend time with me. I mean I am really feedback, not like yelling or scolding.

I think I really make a big mistake, because I just want to be honest with her. I really want to be honest to her on whatever I feel. So maybe bring 100 percent honest is really not that great for a guy after all. I really don't know.

So is like, after some long period, she changed. As long as I feedback something negative about her, even if its in a nice tone, she would become very angry with me, and gets very agitated. So end up, she wants her space for some period.

This makes me wonder, is like I am sad about something, and when I share with her, I get would get even more sad because I hurt her. I am really confuse. Because I don't want to make her sad and angry. It end up she get distant away from me again.

Actually everything now, was not very important anymore, because I had tried my best to salvage the relationshi, but end up, she didn't really want me, so I guess I make a good decision to let her go. BUt sadly, when she left me, I feel like the world's most unattractive guy, is like I am the lousiest boyfriend in this world. For I had care too much for her, for I had being clingy, for everything I do.

Yup,. :o that's all... haha... I would try to be strong... like all the people here in the forum had taught me.. I had never forget about what they say... whenever I am sad, I would look at those comments from my thread, and bite the bullet and go through..

So I would want to say to all, hey do you know by typing a few words using your fingers here does some much wonders? Haha... because you all did heal my heart in someway or other, whenever I need it most. :p... thanks everyone...

unspeaken21... I would actually like to pm u , but I cannot because I don't have that function here. BUt I would really like to share some information about my failed relationship to you privately, as in I would like to know from your point of view, am I really that bad... I would like to improve... is there anyway I could contact you through e-mail or whatever?

Thanks unspeaken21 once again... hope you had a nice day and wish you happy always with your love one!! :p... hope to hear from you again...

p.s : unspeaken21 this is what I called a long post... haha sorry

Its so sad to hear that you think you are the “lousiest boyfriend”… You’re nothing compared to the guys my friends have dated, and most of them were real immature jerks.

Not every person would want to treat their partner as the status of a family member.. So this makes you a better boyfriend than most people. I think it’s the sweetest thing anyone can do to their partner.

You have a two good characteristic in you, it's that you are sensitive and very considerate… (But hopefully not too sensitive, because then just can just be tiring for the other person.. ).. You felt sad after hurting her, but really you shouldn’t have because girls are somewhat complicated..

You would think being 100% honest is a good thing, but its not so good all the time, especially if you are discussing something that has to do with her weakness/insecurity… but still most people prefer someone who is honest,. relationships are more real that way (that’s just my opinion though... )

Seems like she really ruined you…. Do you still feel unattractive and lousy, like when she left you?
I hope your better….

Sure we can email privately… but I'm not sure ill be of any more help, nonetheless I'm still willing to help out as much as I can.. just let me know what your email is or something…
Anyway.. Mrpigz.. I guess ill be talking to you soon.. Until then take care :)

Or if you want we can wait until you get PM... I just got mine today.. and I'm a new member too... so maybe you will get yours soon too...
Its really up to you...
(I didn't know what PM was until you mentioned it... :p... )

Have a good day!

Hi everyone... recently I am busy with my work.. thus sort of making me so busy that I am unable to think of my ex. Now that I am done with my work, today I am actually quite free. Suddenly the thoughts of her are alll rushing back.

I don't know but it is really so hurting. I feel like I am suffocating. Guys... do you think I am the one who ruined the relationship? Because the day when she left me... somehow.. I am left with this feeling... the feeling that everything I was to be blame with... I am too whinny... too clingy... too demanding... not caring... not strong enough as a guy... not independent... always wanted to be with her...

I suddenly feel like I am unable to breath...

I don't understand why... she can leave me so easily... despite all the promises we made... and despite that she always asked me not to leave her... but yet she dumped me... I know is no point thinking about all this... and I had tried my best to salvage this relationship... but me alone was unable to make this relationship survive.

But somehow, after about 2 months... I still cannot fully forget about the good moments with her.. and being with her... although there are also sad moments.

To her, she will always remember the bad moments, I don't know why, even if we would argue in the past.. she will always remember about the argument for very long time. But whenever I am encountered with arguments with her in the past... I always will remember about her good... so that I will not remember about her bad...

Which makes me even tougher to forget her now.. because despite she dump me... despite what she did to me.. I am always remembering about the good things she did...

I don't know, is not like I wanted to salvage this relationship now or hoping she is back... but the problem now is I realized... after she had left me... I was left with this feeling... feeling of because of my own character.. I ruined everything.

I am too whinny... too clingy... too demanding... not caring... not strong enough as a guy... not independent... always wanted to be with her... always concern for her... always be there for her... etc. etc.

All in all.. this feeling makes me... hard to move on... is like I am a totally useless guy that maybe I can do well in career and school.. but I will never get to have an girlfriend or wife... she left me this feeling of a... useless and bad boyfriend...

And I am here thinking about how good she was... how stupid I was, how bad I am , that I forced her away... ha...

I don't know... ha

Sorry to vent my thoughts here... I though I am okay already... but surprisingly I am not... I don't know what to do anymore... I feel hopeless... and I don't like to feel that... but is like a fact..

I really do hope everyone can comment on this... please... thanks in advance... please help...

I am too whinny... too clingy... too demanding... not caring... not strong enough as a guy... not independent... always wanted to be with her... always concern for her... always be there for her... etc. etc.

All in all.. this feeling makes me... hard to move on... is like I am a totally useless guy that maybe I can do well in career and school.. but I will never get to have an girlfriend or wife... she left me this feeling of a... useless and bad boyfriend...

And I am here thinking about how good she was... how stupid I was, how bad I am , that I forced her away... ha...


You have to stop beating yourself up! You must see this as a learning experience and instead of berating yourself about your flaws,see them for what they are and try to change them.

If you are always walking around feeling bad about yourself,you will never have the opportunity to meet and connect with someone new.No one wants to hang around a gloomy Gus. You also will be showing a lack of confidence and that is a turn off as well.

I can see from your posts that you are intelligent and committed to success and that you are kind and very polite.Those are some wonderful assets and you need to remember that about yourself and have confidence.Confidence is like a *chick magnet*.
You need to fake it ,even if you don't feel it,fake it until it is real.

You are doing fine and you will have bad days but those are the days you have to work harder.

You are going to get through this... believe that and it will happen.

You have to stop beating yourself up! You must see this as a learning experience and instead of berating yourself about your flaws,see them for what they are and try to change them.

If you are always walking around feeling bad about yourself,you will never have the opportunity to meet and connect with someone new.No one wants to hang around a gloomy Gus. You also will be showing a lack of confidence and that is a turn off as well.

I can see from your posts that you are intelligent and committed to success and that you are kind and very polite.Those are some wonderful assets and you need to remember that about yourself and have confidence.Confidence is like a *chick magnet*.
You need to fake it ,even if you don't feel it,fake it until it is real.

You are doing fine and you will have bad days but those are the days you have to work harder.

You are going to get through this...believe that and it will happen.



Thank You artlady, thanks.. I will try harder... I will be back to normal soon...