Sneezy here.

I was wondering if any parent had issues with their teenage child stealing from them... not a few bucks here and there, but say... around $1500.

My brother (15) was just caught stealing $1500 from my mom. Our family keeps money here and there around the house, and my brother apparently found a spot and took the money, and then spent it all, he bought game systems, games, shoes, clothes, the works.

The thing is, he HAS money. My parents give him an allowance, I give him an allowance, he has money in his checking account, he has my credit card in case of emergencies, etc.

So our family is now in disarray, as we have no idea what to do about this situation.

We haven't fully ruled drugs out... although it doesn't seem like it.

Overall, he's a good kid, gets good grades, does chores, etc. but this has happened before as he stole a couple bucks when he was a kid.

Now, it's not a few bucks; it's not even a hundred; it's well over a grand.

We're making him return everything that he can to pay my mom back, and then he'll be working until he can pay her back for everything, but the problem is, my mom has pretty much given up on him. She doesn't want him to be punished, as long as she gets her money back, as she no longer trusts her son.

The kid's not... very remorseful... he feels bad, but I don't think he understands exactly HOW bad this situation is. His response was, "I'll just pay her back..."

So, any parents out there that had this happen to them?

And I'm sure I'll get the usual, "Kick him out of the house...let him go to jail...etc." Sorry, not really possible. I'm trying to figure out reasonable ways of turning him around to show exactly how much he hurt our mother.

Ask him truthfully why he is doing it. Tell him that you would gladly lend him some money if he needed some.

He says he has no idea why he's doing these things.

He knows I would lend him money. That's not the problem. He HAS money. He even has my credit card.

I'm not sure if it's his hormones going haywire, or this is an act of rebellion...

How many times has he stolen/shoplifted? Maybe it's something he can't control? His lack of remorse bothers me.

He's never shoplifted (that I know of), but this is the second time he's stolen from my parents. First time, it was a few bucks, to buy a toy (when he was 11), but this time, it's gotten to felony-status.

he's never shoplifted (that I know of), but this is the second time he's stolen from my parents. First time, it was a few bucks, to buy a toy (when he was 11), but this time, it's gotten to felony-status.
Of course, this means your parents will have to be more careful with money and not leave it lying around the house, even if it's supposedly hidden. Does your family have an "all for one and one for all" attitude, so that your brother may have considered the money "his" too?

Although we do have a "all for one," he knows it's wrong to literally take money from another family member. He knows it's wrong to do so, but did it anyway.

although we do have a "all for one," he knows it's wrong to literally take money from another family member. He knows it's wrong to do so, but did it anyway.
What's your take on it -- body language, eye contact, general attitude, explanations. (This experience will come in handy later when dealing with patients.)

Sneezy sweetie, you know my advice but I'll give it again.

He's 15, sounds like something more than just "I want new clothes and a few games" going on here. I know you don't think he's doing drugs, and maybe he isn't, but don't rule it out completely.

Also, he's 15! He's not a child, not an adult, somewhere in between. It wasn't that long ago that you were a teen, though somehow I think you never really had a teen mentality, which is probably why you don't understand this.

You told me that he's hanging around with a new kid, one that dropped out of school (hope it's okay that I share that info because I think it's important) this kid is older than him, could be having a very bad influence on him.

The lack of remorse for an otherwise good kid, that bothers me. Sounds like your mom isn't the only one who's given up, he has too.

Depression, teen hormones, not being able to do so many of the things that you're body is telling you you're ready to do. They all add up.

Don't give up on him. He does need to be punished for this, but I don't know if any punishment you come up with will make him feel bad for anyone other than himself at this point.

Wish I had more to offer kid. Sorry.

Sounds like time for a good boot camp, and/or some counseling,

And time for parents to get a home safe,

Sounds like time for a good boot camp, and/or some counseling,

and time for parents to get a home safe,

Boot camp wouldn't be a bad thing, or counselling. I think this kid is depressed, or at a teen crossroads. We've all been there at some point, though most of us don't end up stealing, we do have our little outbursts and do things we normally wouldn't do when we're teens. By we I don't mean me. I did steal from my parents, I did do drugs and pretty much everything else I could to have my little rebellion.

The good thing here is that you and your parents know what's going on and you're not just going to sweep it under the rug. He has to know that this was wrong, that he will be punished and that from now on you all will be watching him very closely because he's lost your trust and respect. If it means anything to him (which I think it will one day) then he'll do everything he can to gain back that trust and respect.

As for the boot camp, send him here, he'll be begging to go home within a week! ;)