I live in the UK and soon to be moving out of the marital home. Unfortunately because my husband and I are in an IVA I think we will both end up in bakcruptcy, and we will default o n the mortgage iva etc. Where do I stand legally? Is there anything I need to know/ do, to make it easier on me and my 15yr old son. Also I don't want to make it harder for my husband we are parting as friends ( I hope). He does not have a job and will not move out of the house... so I am going to move to rented property.

Any advice would be very welcome.:)

You're in a tough spot but seem smart about accepting your situation for what it is, which is how you need to be at the moment.. pragmatic and compassionate, while looking after yourself and your son. You'll eventually get through this though, so there's no need to get overwhelmed by everything. I've heard some of the best business people have experienced bankruptcy at least once..

Definitely seek legal aid as laws can change from state to state and you're in an especially tricky financial situation that must have long term ramifications. I imagine there's a free legal aid office in the UK where you can have at least one free session with a volunteer solicitor.

Apart from that, you could write a letter to your husband letting him know all the things you've appreciated about him over the years and ask him to do the same for you. It sounds silly, but helps when things get really tough to sometimes remember the good things about each other. Especially let him know you want he and his son to continue having a good relationship, not just because you want that for your son, but because he's a good father and you respect that about him.

I'm wondering how you are you going to manage finding rental property with so many cats? I adore cats, so imagine that's going to be a challenge while you deal with everything else. Do you have family you can stay with or can find homes for all of them? Have you had a chance to think about about this yet?

I have found somewhere to rent, I just need to find a granter, as my credit rating is about as bad as a chocolate T.Pot. We do have legal aid here in the UK, and I will be trying to seek as much advice as possible. I like the idea of writing him a letter, that is a good idea thanks. And of course I will not stop my husband and son from seeing each other as much as they like, it is fair and best for everyone I feel.
The kittys in my picture are a litter that my cat had 6months ago and I am glad to say they are now all settled in their new homes and doing really well :)
Thanks very much for that advice frangipanis, it makes me feel a little better about the whole situation.

I'm glad to hear you've found a place, karle. They're cute kittens :)

We have a joint account and I am going to get my wages paid into my own accocunt once I move out. Should I write to take my name off the joint account??

Open a new personal account for your wages to go into, Karle.

How are you, by the way? How are your husband and son coping with the changes, if you don't mind me asking?