Hey everyone,

My husband and I have been married almost 2 yrs and just recently spent 2,000 dollars to take his ex (never an ex wife though) back to court to adjust child support. We live in Indiana and after spending all that money we are still getting screwed. I do not understand this and see how stressed out my husband is. Although it takes two, she did get pregnant on purpose and her plan did not work. However, my husband has ALWAYS done what was ordered over him and more throughout 8 yrs. She is 2 yrs old, and in 2nd grade full time. After paying two thousands dollars, they are still taking 200.00/mo for daycare that she has not attended in 2 yrs plus. I just do not forsee this getting any better, and even with a lawyer who brought out all of the many wrongs the mother has done recently, we were given nothing extra, and in fact she's being given something that makes no sense. Quite frankly, we can not afford this. I am a very liberal woman and believe that women should not live off the system for choices they intentionally made. It is unfortunate, but I do not like to see my husband suffer and certainly do not want to see him NEVER have what he deserves in life because of something he did not plan. Financially we cannot do what they are requiring and in ten yrs with the economy as it is, it is only going to get worse. He is now thinking of signing over rights and is upset to do so, but is at his whits end. We clearly have made every attempt (2,000) to get this adjusted, but the state of Indiana just never supports the husband. We are wondering how the state of Indiana works if the father gives up parental rights and if this will relieve him of child support.
Please help.

Signed,

Worried wife

First, forget giving up his rights. No court is going to allow a parent to relinquish rights just to end support.


believe that women should not live off the system for choices they intentionally made. It is unfortunate, but I do not like to see my husband suffer

Second, support not about the mother and while I can understand your not wanting to see your husband suffer, there seems to be no consideration about the child! Support is about providing for the innocent. The child didn't conspire with the mother to deliberately be born. Yet you show no concern whatsoever about the child's needs for support and a father.

I'm assuming there was a typo, but you said the child is "2 yrs old and in 2nd grade". Obviously that is incorrect.

What reason did the court give for allowing a payment for a service no longer being used? I assume the $200/mth is in addition to other support payments. I suspect there are sides to this that you may not have mentioned.

But the bottomline is your husband has to pay what the court ordered. If not, he may find his wages garnished to pay it. So, you need to rellok at your expenses and see where you can cut back.

If the child is only in second grade and the mother works full time then there may still be a need for daycare ( after school ). I think we need to know a little more about what was done in court so we might better help you. What decisions were made by the judge and how much is his support in a percentage ? Does he have healthcare for the child too ?

First there is no such thing as "giving up his rights not to pay child support, the jails would not be full of dead beat dads if that was so easy to do.

And even if for some reason he could give up his rights, child suport does ot stop, one is a right, the other a obilgation.
If for some reason she got remarried and the new husband wanted to adopt, then he can sign over his rights and child support will stop.

Let me see if the mother is working and the child is going to school, or if there is day care if she works weekends, I see 50 dolaars a week as fairly close,
He should be paying 1/2 of day care.

He should also either be providing health insurance or paying 1/2 of that cost. And should be payig 1/2 of all medical costs not covered by health insurance.

And child support of course.

Most money payments are set by staute.

Sadly this is a familiar story, the parent with the child does not ever think they get enough, the parent paying thinks they are paying too much