Lamule3000
Feb 11, 2009, 12:19 AM
I was 25 and single when I met this childhood friend of my brother's wife (let's called the girl Maria since it's her name). It was a summer party at my brother's place. I just fell in love with her at first sight. In those days I had no experience of approaching women... so nothing really happened. I just went back to the big city after that weekend in my hometown.
I was a newly graduated engineer, a bit shy, guitare player, kind of good looking dude who had maybe 4 short lived relationships in my life. Still looking for something significant.
A bit more that a year went by. She was still in my mind, as a vision of the perfect girl for me. So pretty. About one year later, back in my hometown. We got out with my brother and she comes along with our group of friends. We go in a pub/dancing place and have the best time ever. We have finally get the chance to talk Marie and I. We ended up at her place kissing on the sofa :-) That was something. I had dreamed of that moment for long time. I could not believe it. My perception at the time: she was the perfect girl for me but I was afraid that she was a little bit over my league... Anyway. We start this long distance relationship where we would drive 3h30min back and forth every weekend to see each other. During the week we would talk more and more on the phone. The pivotal thing about this relationship is that I really opened myself to an other person for the first time in my life. I told her issue I had about my inner self that I thought I would never say to no one. She did the same thing with issue from her past (the bigegst for her, an abortion at 18). It felt like removing a ton of brick from my back. Me opening up had such a positive on my life. I was the logical guy and she was the sunny emotional girl.
After 6 months of this long distance relationship I had to go for 6 weeks work oversea for my job. At the time she had been struggling for 2 years with a job she did not like. She was a University graduate in politic but once on the market she realised it was not for her. She was working as a insurance seller and could not live with that. She was depressed, would drink a bit (it's in her family) and me going away fueled her depressed mood. What happened is that when I came back she was depressed, had doubt about her relation and within 2 weeks finally broke our couple. It had been 8 months since the first night.
I was devastated. I was jogging all the time just to get this endorphin rush (it really works). I knew that in the end I had caused our split because of self-esteem issue not totally addressed within myself. Also a lack of confidance in my mind that this relationship would last.
So I did a promess to myself at that time. I challenged myself to do everything in my power to improve myself so much that it might seduced her back. The plan was :
- To mourn our relationship for real so I could to move on to get a chance to evoluate,
- Try to fix by any mean necessary the self esteem issues within myself,
- Improve my social skill to get to her level (she was good with that, me a bit loner).
About 1 month after the break-up she called me back first. Although she did not want us to get back togetter she wanted us to remain in contact. What happened afterward is that we developed this friendly relationship where we would talk to each other an average of once a week. It has been like that for the past 3 years.
With a lot of efforts (I've read a lot of books on psychology and seductions) my plan kind of worked. As crazy as it sounds I improved myself esteem and my seduction skills (I won't go into details but some books really opened-up my "game"). A year after the breakup I started dating this other girl. I though I would forget my feelings for Marie overtime. It never really worked as much as I wanted and I feel a bit guilty about it toward my new girlfriend.
Here is the interesting part now...
5 months ago Marie starts dating her new roommate. A friend of her cousin from the UK who moved to New-York for like a year. A journalist guy. Her first serious relationhip since me. I was happy for her. Our weekly discussion became montly and that was OK with me...
Two day ago she calls me. She tells me she got pregnant unintentionaly and they both want to keep the baby. She always told me that she would never get an aboption ever again (she had one at 18) and it make no sense to me that she is having a baby with this guy after 5 months. She must have been pregnant for a bit more that a month now. I am one of the first one to know (not even her mother knows at this time).
Although I thought I was moving on with my life... I think I always kept the hope we might end-up back toggetter in the future when the timing would be right. Knowing all that news just shook my world upside down more than I could ever have foreseen it. It all just suddently means a lot to me than I would have thought. Also I have the feeling that she want so much this baby that she might not see clearly if the guy really wants it. I'm afraid of that too. I really care for her well being.
Thanks to have read my post up to now.
What do you guys think there is for me to do next? Is there anything for me to do? Thanks for any inputs...
I was a newly graduated engineer, a bit shy, guitare player, kind of good looking dude who had maybe 4 short lived relationships in my life. Still looking for something significant.
A bit more that a year went by. She was still in my mind, as a vision of the perfect girl for me. So pretty. About one year later, back in my hometown. We got out with my brother and she comes along with our group of friends. We go in a pub/dancing place and have the best time ever. We have finally get the chance to talk Marie and I. We ended up at her place kissing on the sofa :-) That was something. I had dreamed of that moment for long time. I could not believe it. My perception at the time: she was the perfect girl for me but I was afraid that she was a little bit over my league... Anyway. We start this long distance relationship where we would drive 3h30min back and forth every weekend to see each other. During the week we would talk more and more on the phone. The pivotal thing about this relationship is that I really opened myself to an other person for the first time in my life. I told her issue I had about my inner self that I thought I would never say to no one. She did the same thing with issue from her past (the bigegst for her, an abortion at 18). It felt like removing a ton of brick from my back. Me opening up had such a positive on my life. I was the logical guy and she was the sunny emotional girl.
After 6 months of this long distance relationship I had to go for 6 weeks work oversea for my job. At the time she had been struggling for 2 years with a job she did not like. She was a University graduate in politic but once on the market she realised it was not for her. She was working as a insurance seller and could not live with that. She was depressed, would drink a bit (it's in her family) and me going away fueled her depressed mood. What happened is that when I came back she was depressed, had doubt about her relation and within 2 weeks finally broke our couple. It had been 8 months since the first night.
I was devastated. I was jogging all the time just to get this endorphin rush (it really works). I knew that in the end I had caused our split because of self-esteem issue not totally addressed within myself. Also a lack of confidance in my mind that this relationship would last.
So I did a promess to myself at that time. I challenged myself to do everything in my power to improve myself so much that it might seduced her back. The plan was :
- To mourn our relationship for real so I could to move on to get a chance to evoluate,
- Try to fix by any mean necessary the self esteem issues within myself,
- Improve my social skill to get to her level (she was good with that, me a bit loner).
About 1 month after the break-up she called me back first. Although she did not want us to get back togetter she wanted us to remain in contact. What happened afterward is that we developed this friendly relationship where we would talk to each other an average of once a week. It has been like that for the past 3 years.
With a lot of efforts (I've read a lot of books on psychology and seductions) my plan kind of worked. As crazy as it sounds I improved myself esteem and my seduction skills (I won't go into details but some books really opened-up my "game"). A year after the breakup I started dating this other girl. I though I would forget my feelings for Marie overtime. It never really worked as much as I wanted and I feel a bit guilty about it toward my new girlfriend.
Here is the interesting part now...
5 months ago Marie starts dating her new roommate. A friend of her cousin from the UK who moved to New-York for like a year. A journalist guy. Her first serious relationhip since me. I was happy for her. Our weekly discussion became montly and that was OK with me...
Two day ago she calls me. She tells me she got pregnant unintentionaly and they both want to keep the baby. She always told me that she would never get an aboption ever again (she had one at 18) and it make no sense to me that she is having a baby with this guy after 5 months. She must have been pregnant for a bit more that a month now. I am one of the first one to know (not even her mother knows at this time).
Although I thought I was moving on with my life... I think I always kept the hope we might end-up back toggetter in the future when the timing would be right. Knowing all that news just shook my world upside down more than I could ever have foreseen it. It all just suddently means a lot to me than I would have thought. Also I have the feeling that she want so much this baby that she might not see clearly if the guy really wants it. I'm afraid of that too. I really care for her well being.
Thanks to have read my post up to now.
What do you guys think there is for me to do next? Is there anything for me to do? Thanks for any inputs...