Good day, I have a son with a woman I did not marry but my understanding is I have a parental responisibility to him because he bears my last name and I signed his birth certificate. Can she take my son to another state or withhold visitation rights from me? What options are available to me?

Unfortunately, it depends on the state. In most states as long as you have equal custody by law she can not move to another state without a judge's permission. If she is indeed planning on moving out of state with your child or is in fact withholding visitation you should get a lawyer and fight for your right to see your child. Judges generally will be easier on the father if he has been paying child support and has never been late or missed a payment. At least with a lawyer you will know what your rights are as this child's father by law in your state.

Is there a custody order in place? If not the parent with residential custody controls where the child goes and lives.

If you don't have an order, you need to get one.

The key here is whether there is a court ordered visitation schedule in place. Without one, the mother has can go where she wants. With one, she has to get permission from the court for any move that will not allow you the visitation as ordered by the court.

In the state I live in if you have equal custody the mother of the child can not move out of the state with the permission of a judge. That is why the best advice is to get a lawyer and see what your rights are.

Presently this is no court ordered visitation because we haven't officially separated. I presently have a property agreement with this woman and I created a visitation agreement which I hoping she will signed and have that notorized I the event we do separate. What I'm really trying to avoid is a 'custody fight' at all costs if we separate because I love my son and I am determine to be a part of his life while minimizing the effects of a separation. Should I petition the court and get something from the court saying that I am his father and she cannot take him out of the state or is that somethng that you get when you officially separate and a child custody and support is determine. I apologize for the ignorance.

In the state I live in if you have equal custody the mother of the child can not move out of the state with the permission of a judge.

Please cite the law that states that. In my experience, the issue is generally not custody but visitation. Custody can still be exercised even from a distance, but visitation cannot. So its whether the move will affect court ordered visitation that matters. In case like the OPs' where they may not be any formal declaration of custody, the custodial parent is probably free to move.


Presently this is no court ordered visitation because we haven't officially separated. I presently have a property agreeement with this woman and I created a visitation agreement which I hoping she will signed and have that notorized i the event we do separate. What I'm really trying to avoid is a 'custody fight' at all costs if we separate because I love my son and I am determine to be a part of his life while minimizing the effects of a separation. Should I petition the court and get something from the court saying that I am his father and she cannot take him out of the state or is that somethng that you get when you officially separate and a child custody and support is determine. I apologize for the ignorance.

Signing and notarizing a visitation agreement does not have the force of law. Only a court can establish such. However, such an agreement can be presented to a court for approval.

If the two of you are currently living together then there should be no issue. However, as soon as you separate, you should file in court to prevent and immediate move.