Hello everyone out there reading this can you please help thank you so much I'm 15 and have been sexually active for 2 years now... It started with they guy I thought I loved and he dumped me when he find out I was pregnant then my mother and his mother forced me to abort and I have trouble since now that was in feb 22 of 2008 I been trying to get pregnant since I don't know if this is right but I feel as if I have to replace the baby I lost in febaury... But my boyfriend doesn't want me to get pregnant so we stop dating and I really do love him... Then there's 23 year old guy who says he loves me so much he wants to give me a baby but my mom tried calling the cops on this wonderful guy who was trying to hel
Then she stop talking to me until today
And she tried to explain but I didn't or couldn't understand what was going on in her head
My ex started talking to me again and ask me out if I give up on this baby thing
But I don't think it's fair because me and my mom was pregnant at the same time and she has this baby girl to prove it all I have is the heart ache but I want more I want the baby because no matter what id know the baby would love me
Lately I haven't slept I haven't eat this is all that been on my mind
I don't know why now when I was starting to get my act together and dropping it has it come back so much worse then before
I'm 15 I don't want to take care of a baby but I want one

I love my furture husband reggie williamsu][/u]

Baby, just wait to have babies.

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Everyday we see posts/threads about how young girls are concerned about being pregnant, want to get pregnant and they are ready to have children.

Most of the posters are young, some uneducated enough to type coherent sentences.

I just wish I could convey how horrible it is to regret having children while you are still a child. I was 17 when I got pregnant and I thought I was ready. I had raised all of my younger brothers/sister/cousins, I knew most everything there was to know about raising a baby. But at 18 there is SO much more to raising children than even caring for their psychological needs. Financially it is a tremendous strain and as with most young mothers the love of their life that they believed would stand by them is no longer the fairy tale they imagined. They are left with legal battles, fighting for child support, raising a child alone. It is a huge weight for anyone to handle. School often gets put on hold, most often indefinitely because there isn't anyway to tighten a belt when you aren't the only mouth to feed. Having children is not a blessing but a curse when you are unprepared to handle all of the daily stresses.

Fast forward twelve years, I am now 30 with a son who just turned twelve today. I am the youngest mother in my son's class. I work everyday and strive for the best for my children, but I am fortunate in how educated I was prior to 18, but I know that I could have done so much more. It's a guilt wrenching feeling to think of your oldest child with regret, knowing that you could have offered him so much more if you had waited to have children until you weren't a child and you were on your feet. It's heartbreaking to know that you aren't as bonded with him as you could be, primarily because you had him too young and you spent all of his infant/young child years working a FT & PT job to support him while your "knight" was out gallavanting and being a normal 18 year old. That you spent all of your bonding time transporting him from one grandparent to another so that you could make it to this job or that.

For all of the young women out there sleeping with their "knight" without taking the proper precautions, please know this:

*You can and I did get pregnant the first time.

*Raising children is a FT job that you won't get to participate in while you are too young to be established.

*You may think that you are ready, you are doing the right thing if you have already found yourself "knocked up" but you will live to regret the things you could have done different. No matter how much you profess that you won't.

*You will love and suffer for your child, but you will regret knowing what a better parent you could have been if you had in fact waited.

I know that all of this things are my life. That doesn't mean that it will make a hill of beans to some of the young women out there reading this, but to the one who is listening raising children is a difficult task. Do not take the risk of having unprotected sex and finding yourself in a situation of raising children before you are ready.

Having a child shouldn't be all about what you want.

Children deserve a stable home, two loving parents, food to eat, clothes to wear.

At 15 you have no power to give a child any of that. You would have to be depedent on other people. That isn't fair to the child or your parents.

Please seek counseling to get you past the feelings of loss from the abortion.

You want to have a baby but not take care of it? It doesn't work like that. Sure you can give the child up for adoption but is that fair to the child? Your mom is an adult you are a child adults have kids and children do not.

I am sure it was horrible having that abortion but this is not the answer. Wait until you are older like after college if you choose to go to college. You are 15 years old you are a baby. And your mom is right in calling the cops on that 23 year old it is illegal and just plain creepy!!

You're 15, honey. You should be worrying about getting your drivers license next year, your next Algebra test, your school winning the football game, if you're going to make it home in time to catch the latest episode of a sitcom, not about having a baby.

If you got pregnant at 15, you wouldn't be able to go to the store to buy diapers, you wouldn't have money to buy food because you couldn't work and raise a child, finishing school would almost be out of the question, and going to the mall or the movies with your friends would be out of the question.

Babies are HARD WORK. They deserve a stable home, a parent/parents who have a job to take care of them, money to put food on the table, and clothes on their tiny backs.

Your ex boyfriend was right; you shouldn't be focusing on having a baby.

Focus on growing up first.

If you truly want the love and to properly love a child wait,

Wait till you have an education and can afford a child,
Wait till you are mature enough to handle the stresses of both a child and working
Wait till you have a parnter that will be with you for a long time.

Part of the problem is you started way to young, and now you are paying the price emotionally for that life.

You can never replace a child that is lost, that is an issue you will have to work out in your health perhaps with years of counseling

Having a child isn't about what you want, it's about what they need. Love, what is love? Tons of people give me the same answer. "Love is when you want to be with some one so bad you'd do anything for them, and you feel so much for them that you'd never hurt them or let them down. Love is selfless, and always beautiful."

This is just my own belief, so feel free to disagree... Love is not all about happyness, beauty, and selfless acts. Love is a very deep connection between two people who respect one another as equals. Yes at times you must be selfless, but other times you must consider yourself. Because if you don't love yourself, you don't love any one. That is a lust thing, built upon the fear of being alone or with out some one who "makes" you feel happy. No one can "make" you happy, but yourself, on account that happyness is a state of mind. Yes things have very strong influence on that, but you still decide is it or is it not happy. When you love some one, you are happy, before meeting them, then come together as two happy people, as aposed to one happy person carrying the two of you, or two sad people, etc. When you love some one you don't hold them so tight they can't breath, you don't get jelous when they look at other people, you don't threaton to leave them, or any thing of the sort. Those are acts of an isecure person, who is self loathing, usually the most agressive/seemingly confident people are the least confident, and the saddest. Yes, when you love some one, you can let go even though it will hurt like Hell, and you will feel down for a time; but you still let them go because you love them and want them to be happy.

That older guy sounds sketchy no offence.

For the baby thing, it could be that your body if feeling some kind of hormonal connection/need to have a baby. Since your first one was aborted, sorry you had to go through that, it must have bin hard. I think you will have to learn a lesson on how to control your feelings, like so many really should learn but don't. Your thinking is very important, so if you feel you need a baby, see if you can't do baby sitting, or volunteering and such. That way if a kid drives you nuts, you can give it back at the end of the day. Haha, sorry, I had to try to make you smile.

You are still very young, and there is so much to explore and learn and see in this world, why not give yourself some time to do that before having a child. I want nothing more in this world to have a baby, and a wife with a nice place to live, a good steady job; but I know I have first got to learn to deal with my bipoar condition, (I don't want to pass on what I can over come.) find myself, love myself, respect myself, And just be comfortable on my own. Honestly I want to open an orphanage like place only much better. After all, the future is all on you and your peers little mate, and children. Look after them, they'll look after us, at least I hope. Haha, kidding

Try to get some counseling, and go out and do some things that are fun and chill, stay away from drugs and alcohol as they will most likely cause more problems.

Take care little sister, and remember," the best things in life are worth waiting for."-unknown

P.S. You have an endless sea of possibilities before you. And that is what you have to show for not having a baby. Focus on that, turn your thoughts to good ones. This may take time, but once you can do it with out consentrating on it too hard, you'll find things a lot nicer, more hopeful, and enjoyable.

My love you should know that a baby is a huge reponsiblity, not saying an aborton was right, but just maybe your not ready. I know it hurts especially to have to deal with the fact that you lost something that was part of you. Daring do yourself a favor and wake up. Your young and still have your whole future ahead of you. Please don't do something you might regret later. I'm sure you will find a huband, someone you truly love who will be honored to be a father and call you his wife, when your older. Just wait, trust me time will heal those wounds.

The others have told you are wrong to even be sexually active at your age, let alone thinking of becoming a mother.

Your judgement is very suspect. If you think a 23 yr old that wants to have sex with a 15 yr old is a "wonderful guy" you have some serious self esteem issues. This giy was a PERVERT, he didn't want to help you, he wanted to take advantage of you!

Darlin, you can't replace people no matter what. Your not ready to have a baby, and that 'wonderful' 23yo is old enough to know that, And if he did impregnate you, in most countries, that's statutory rape.


Go talk to a professional, it's needed.

Don't have a kid, your still one yourself and don't seem like you want to have a child for any other reason than to try and tie yourself to this guy. This child will be better off never being born because it will not receive the proper care and love it requires to survive!

Darling, I got pregnant with my first child and had him at 16. Take my word, you need to enjoy being young and not having to worry about being a Mom and tied down. Your life as you know it is going to stop being about you and become only about the baby. You will have to always have to worry about who's going to watch the baby if you want to go do something. Please enjoy being young and not having to deal with the hassels of being a young parent. I don't regret having my kids by any means, but if I could go back and redo it, I would for sure have not quit school and would have waited to have my kids and got married after I got out of school. Just think darling.. Please!

You are confused and the last thing you need to do is have a baby at your age not only will you end up more confused but also in a big complicated mess that will be worse than confusing, Also your messing with a 23 yr old is not good at all. Some states will throw him in jail in a heart beat for fathering a baby to a 15 yr old. Right now you are throwing away your life by feeling you need to be complete through others. When you are not complete within yourself and seek fulfillment through others, whether it be a boyfriend or a baby you will never be satisfied in life. To have a good solid relationship .you need to be whole within yourself. First get a life and your individuality. Otherwise you are going to go through life relationship to relationship never content and always seeking something you may never find.