https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregnancy-new-motherhood/first-time-being-pregnant-312791.html

Yeah my mother suggested that I do that.. but I think I might just wait and see if I get my period.. then ill take it from there.. but I've been having a lot of stress with my boyfriend and since I am early in the pregnancy I am scared that I could have a miscarriage? Is that possible from a lot of stress at home? Also me and my boyfriend just moved out here to North Carolina, we've been out here for about a month a couple days now.. around the 3rd week that we were out here I started working at a place called " Blimpies" inside of Walmart.. and there was this guy who came in evreyday on his lunch break.. and he would stop & talk to me.. He was a nice guy, he worked bak in the photos department.. and I seen him a couple times.. for about a week we were talking.. just as mutual friends nothing serious.. at that time I needed someone to talk to because me and my boyfriend were fighting and arguing a lot.. and it was really stressing me out. So one day we exchanged numbers.. and he ended up calling me a couple days later and ever since we've been talking and texting on my phone [ which is cut off now ] up until last Tuesday. That when I went to the hospital and found out I was pregnant. My b/f thinks the baby is this guys because he found out I was talking to him.. behind his bak but it was even how he thought it was. One day we got into a real big argument. And I couldn't be in the house anymore and I just needed to get away and get a peace of mind. So I called this guy up and he came to pick me up (at around 1:00pm) he took me out to eat we talked about a variety of different subjects.. after that we drove around, he was showing me around because I was new to the area and didn't know too much, so I thought that was nice of him.. then we went bak to his house and watched a movie and just hung out at his house and talked... I didn't get home until around 9:30-10:00.. and my boyfriend was infuriated.. saying that I cheated on him,. he wanted to kick me out, but then he cooled down and forgave me and understood.. but then there was another incident with this guy where I left again which was last tues. where I left at 7:00 am because I was sad and depressed and needed someone to talk to so I got ahold of him at his wrk because I deleted his number out of my phone and he came to pick me up.. we went bak to his job talked while he was at work on & off.. and I camer bak about 9:00 am.. so then I told him where I was at and he was even more upset.. I felt like I needed to do it to get his attention for him to recognize me... because I really felt like he was pushing me away & didn't want me around.. he wasn't showing me no affection didn't really talk to me so I felt by doing that he would understand?? Today we got into an argument because he sits there and asks me question after question.. which I can understand if I was him and I did that I would be a little suspicious also but I get so angry because I know my baby is his and his dad & him don't believe me so I got real angry and flipped out. Which he said he was done trying with me and he wanted me to leave bak to PA? I called my mom and told her I was packing my things and she said she would come out here and get me.. but I want to stay and try to work things out not just for our relationship but for our baby too.. but I don't want to be stressed out? What do you think is the best soulution? Do you think things willl work out and he find trust in me again if he truly loves me? :confused:




p.s he's a real big daddys boiy he runs and tells him everything!! Im wondering if he wants me gone or if he wants me here?

Well first of I can see why he is scared that you're cheating with this guy... from the info in the OP it seems as if you're talking more with the guy at work then you're talking to your BF, and sure he might have jumped the gun on this guy being the dad. But in all honesty, if I were in his shoes and my boyfriend started hanging out with some girl from work even if he's reasons were that he is new in an area or depressed and sad... i'd be sad and feel left out in the cold! i'd also be PO'd and if he's relations to that girl was the way you describe your relations with that guy at work... well quite honestly i'd feel insecure and a little threatened

Whether your boyfriend still wants you, well he wouldn't try to be so understanding of your behavior if he didn't

But I also feel that whether he still wants you is a side issue here! If you want this to work out then you need to:

1.stop seeing another guy behind his back! even if you see this guy as a friend, it doesn't really matter.. you are sneaking around! And that's never good. Try seeing this whole thing from your bfs point of view!

2. If your feeling sad and depressed why don't you turn to your boyfriend instead? After all you are having his baby, it might be a good idea for you to try to make things work with him. And in my experience when you are having emotional and mental issues; it might be good for the both of you as individuals and you as a couple to work through stuff like that together.


And as for that guy at work... what are his intentions? Exchanging numbers, and hanging out, going to dinner... it sounds as if you guys are dating...

I'm so used to getting hurt in the relationships that i get into.. if its 6 months up to 2 yrs it never fails.. growing up my mom wasn't a big part of my life. she was always in and out doing drugs, and too worried about her girlfriends and love life to focus on whats more important " her daughter" but i realize wen i talk to her sometimes that the things that I've went through and is still going through till this day she has been in the same position.. I've lived with my grandparents for most of my life.. which aren't even my blood.. but I still consider them family. because they took me under their wing when they didn't even have to .. my gram is like my mom & dad! growing up i didn't have a father either.. he left my mom wen i was just born.. but what I'm trying to say is i feel like my life never gets better.. it always gets worse.. i Just don't know what I'm doing wrong wen it comes to relationships.. maybe I'm a little insecure.. selfish.. i don't know.. but I'm in a relationship now with a guy i love and now i will b expect ting a baby!!! I don't know what to do.. sometimes i just want to give up and don't know what to do :confused: sometimes i always feel like somebody's out to get me because growing up i had to be on the defense bout everything?? My boyfriend understands what Ive gone through.. .. & i don't have no reason not to trust him but i always go into a relationship wondering if they'll cheat on me.. thinking of what could happen instead of whats best??

Go on Amazon.com and get the book, Bad Childhood, Good Life by Dr. Laura.

I had a lot of rough knocks in the family department too and it's hard to feel secure in relationships when you've never had a healthy one with your parents. But for your own unborn child's sake, you need to come to terms with the past and embrace the life you have right now.

Make peace with what you've come from. It has most likely made you a stronger person. And now you have the chance to make things different for your own child. Make that your focus.

Melissa! I\m sorry to hear about your childhood! And Like Girlw/slingshot, I can totally sympathies. Having absent or messed up parents def does something to you (or can at least!) And it isn't really that strange if you have trust issues, when the two people who should have been there, weren't.

As for your boyfriend, the two of you have a good starting point; he understands about your past and he has been very understanding currently. To have someone who is suportive and understanding when you have a past like yours is not a given (as I'm sure you're probably aware of, my last boyfriend he didn't understand at all... and he kept coming up with wired and hurtful theories about my parents and me and our whole family, and that did not help a bit!) I think sometimes, we just have to have a little faith in the person that we're dealing with, and although you risk getting hurt... isn't it worth it? He might not break your heart or step out on you! And also now the two of you have the chance to be the parents, your parents never were...

Grilswslingshots advice is excellent, my experience is also that a rough childhood makes you a stronger adult and as adults we really hold the key to our own future, of course it takes hard work (on the self) and dedication, but you can get there!

(I do sincerely, wish you the best of luck! )

You can overcome your past, by knowing what not to do. I think in your situation, an older trusted female can help you a lot, and be open and honest with your b/f, and stop going behind his back. That in itself is suspicious and I can see where he would question whose baby this is. I know your just looking for a friend for support and guidance, but keep it honest, and in the open.