I know what I am asking is counter to what everyone says on here as far as the nc rule. But, I see there are certain times when it can work to get back into your ex's life. I really miss her, and maybe its just because I am lonely, but is this not something worth exploring? Sure, I may be a glutton for punishment but she broke up with me because I am an addict who relapsed on pain killers-but I have quit now. She did say if I quit for a period there was a chance we could be together. Although, that was a month ago, and nothing has been discussed since. She wanted very much to still be a part of my life-but that was too much for me to handle. She told me she had gone on some coffee dates, and that really hurt me. If I were to reestablish contact with her via email or something, how do I begin? I know I can't dive into her personal life too much, but I feel lost without her. I sure more time will heal this, but what if she is the one? I just don't know what to say to her. Please help.

You are much better served working on staying clean, and getting your life together, as ONE lousy month is a good start, but hardly cured.

See how you feel in a year, as you take the time to build a clean life and have your act together, then you'll have something good to show, and a more solid foundation to build on.

Leave her alone, and see what a year of clean thinking brings you.

It's easy to stay clean when you have people helping you out, but true strength and determination comes from staying clean when no one is going to look after you. Staying clean should be your first, second and third priority right now.