My husband fathered a child before we got together. When his ex found out she stopped letting him see their son and eventually ran to Mexico with him. When we found out my husband reported it to the police. They got in contact with her in Mexico and told her to get the boy back here. She refused. Once she did come back, she went and filed for full custody, she found out that he did not have to pay her if he lost his rights so she allowed him Joint Legal/Primary with Mother and he gets him on the weekends and 2 weeks in the summer. She never took care of the child he was sick all the time and his teeth were rotted out of him mouth. We took him to the doctors and have documents proving he was sick, that she neglected to take him to the dentist and we have pictures of the burns he had on his arm and the bruises he used to come with. The judge didn't want to look at the information so finally after a year of picking him up wondering what ailment he was going to have next, we picked him up and he had a giant sore in his mouth making it to were he could not eat or drink. So we called CPS the lady at CPS is a community service worker that works in the building that the Mother of the child goes to on a regular basis to receive assistants. She gave a report stating that the reason the child was sick was because he was born ill and that her home was shambles to do a renovation. The Mother lives in a studio apartment that has no heat or a/c. And all the landlord was doing was painting the exterior of the home. The women from CPS called my husband and told him that there was not enough to continue on the case was closed. Two days later she called back and state that there had been an accident and that my step-son had staples in the back of his head. (he was only 2 years old at the time) my husband asked what happened and she could not provide and answer. There is more to this, and I am seeking help for my husband, his son and our family. We do not have a lot of money to obtain a lawyer. Does anyone know what we can do?

Go to whatever Court in your area handles custody matters and file for a custody hearing. Take ALL of your proof and witnesses. You do not need an Attorney - these Courts are user friendly - but if she has an Attorney you will be at a disadvantage.

Your story is somewhat confusing... are you saying that you started seeing your husband while he was still married to/dating this woman, she found out he was having an affair and ran off to Mexico? There are some other questionable things as well:
1) Just because the mother filed for full custody doesn't mean your husband would have lost his rights.
2) Even if he had lost his rights, that doesn't mean that he would not have had to pay child support.
3) Very rarely is a parent allowed to give up their rights, and a court will not take that parent's rights away unless they are a threat to the child.

How long ago did the incident occur that required staples to be put into the son's head? You state that he was 2 at the time, but haven't mentioned how old he is now.

I was not seeing my husband while he was with her. My husband had been broken up with his ex for a littler over a year before we even met, she had broken up with him because my husband refused to marry her give her papers. When she found out he was with someone new and that the relationship was serious is when she stopped him from seeing their son, then a few weeks later she took off to Mexico. My step son will be 5 in February. My husband did not loose his rights, she wanted him to but once she found out that if he did that he wouldn't have to pay her she agreed with Joint Legal Custody. She was awarded 100 a month in support plus he provide medical threw his employer and that he provides all the transportation.

JudyKayTee- We already have been working with the courts. Also, we did take the documents and photos into court. The judge did not want to see them he stated that the report from the CPS worker was sufficient. She does not have a lawyer but she does get to use the courts advisory lawyers they just cannot represent her.

This case is confusing, frustrating and extremely complex.

I was not seeing my husband while he was with her. My husband had been broken up with his ex for a littler over a year before we even met, she had broken up with him because my husband refused to marry her give her papers. When she found out he was with someone new and that the relationship was serious is when she stopped him from seeing their son, then a few weeks later she took off to Mexico. My step son will be 5 in February. My husband did not loose his rights, she wanted him to but once she found out that if he did that he wouldn't have to pay her she agreed with Joint Legal Custody. She was awarded 100 a month in support plus he provide medical threw his employer and that he provides all the transportation.

JudyKayTee- We already have been working with the courts. Also, we did take the documents and photos into court. The judge did not want to see them he stated that the report from the CPS worker was sufficient. She does not have a lawyer but she does get to use the courts advisory lawyers they just cannot represent her.

This case is confusing, frustrating and extremely complex.

So you're saying that your husband's ex, who wasn't a legal citizen, somehow managed to go to Mexico and then get back into the country? Doesn't add up.

I understand that your husband didn't lose his rights. What I'm trying to get you to understand is that he wouldn't have lost them. Just because she didn't want him to have rights doesn't mean that the court will take them away. And even if the court had taken them away, that doesn't mean he stops paying child support. That's why I said your story is confusing.

If this incident with him needing staples occurred 3 years ago, did you file for a placement change? Of course a judge doesn't want your documents and photos; s/he wants an unbiased opinion from a third party, who was the CPS worker in your case. If the CPS worker didn't find anything wrong, then the child cannot be taken from the mother. She will either have to willingly give him up or your husband will have to get an attorney to fight for it.

this8384- It is very easy to come in and out of this county legal or not. All you have to do is pay a coyote $3000 to cross you. A lot of things don't add up like how someone that is illegal can come here file court for free get all these legal services and help and also get welfare medi-cal and child support at the same time after she had been ordered to cancel her state assistance. CPS never even reported that my stepson had staples in his head to the judge and she stated that she didn't have to due to the incident being an accident. And of course we did we file for emergency placement with us pending court hearing and they did not grant it due to the fact the CSP worker did not put it in her report. I can understand that this confusing that's why I came here. I came here to see if there is anyone that can point us in the right direction, so My husband can sit down and talk with someone and show all his evidence. So that someone can tell him to keep fighting or roll over and take it. All we want is for the boy to be taken care weather he be with us or her. My husband is fine paying support medical and transportation as long as his son gets taken care of. Do you know anyone in the Northern California area or any place here that I can find him some help?

If she is working ( and a illegal alien) for the state or county government, report her

The CPS has a supervisor, file a complaint, but in the end, you will need to get an attorney

Fr_Chuck- The CPS is not illegal the ex of my husband is.

Fr_Chuck- The CPS is not illegal the ex of my husband is.


Have you reported her WITH PROOF that she is illegal and collecting US benefits to the INS? They get (literally) thousands of calls every day so you have to have a strong case in order to be heard.

If she does get deported, be prepared for her to take the child to Mexico with her.

Your choice may very well whatever standard of living she and the child have in the US vs reporting her and whatever standard of living she and the child will have in Mexico.

I agree - complex, confusing and no easy answers.

And if you are aware of the person who is transporting "illegals," then report that person, too.

JudyKayTee- There is a order in place that she cannot take him out of the state, or country without permission from my husband and the courts due to her taking off with him the first time. Will the order stop her from taking him with her if she is deported? I do not know who the guy is that her family uses to pass but I do know that they pass numerous times a year. If I had that information I would report it as fast as I got it. They continue to have children here and we welfare for them but send the kids to Mexico to live and they live off the money here to work.

JudyKayTee- There is a order in place that she cannot take him out of the state, or country without permission from my husband and the courts due to her taking off with him the first time. Will the order stop her from taking him with her if she is deported? I do not know who the guy is that her family uses to pass but I do know that they pass numerous times a year. If I had that information I would report it as fast as I got it. They continue to have children here and we welfare for them but send the kids to Mexico to live and they live off the money here to work.

The order won't do anything if she decides to run off to Mexico and never comes back. A piece of paper won't stop her unless you actually catch her in the act.

I agree, our system is completely ridiculous. I knew of a couple who got married, got divorced, and she was ordered to pay him child support - nobody ever caught that they were both illegal aliens. However, that doesn't change the situation you're in. If she is deported, you don't know what could happen. Like Judy pointed out, she very well might be allowed to take the child with her. Are you willing to take that risk, rather than fight her for custody and physical placement in court first?

And Fr_Chuck wasn't saying the CPS worker was an illegal. He was telling you to contact the CPS worker's supervisor and file a complaint, as she didn't include a vital part of the story in her report. Although filing a complaint may not even do you any good; if the CPS worker saw it as an accident, then her superior may see it the same way; you don't know until you try.

The order won't do anything if she decides to run off to Mexico and never comes back. A piece of paper won't stop her unless you actually catch her in the act.

I agree, our system is completely ridiculous. I knew of a couple who got married, got divorced, and she was ordered to pay him child support - nobody ever caught that they were both illegal aliens. However, that doesn't change the situation you're in. If she is deported, you don't know what could happen. Like Judy pointed out, she very well might be allowed to take the child with her. Are you willing to take that risk, rather than fight her for custody and physical placement in court first?

And Fr_Chuck wasn't saying the CPS worker was an illegal. He was telling you to contact the CPS worker's supervisor and file a complaint, as she didn't include a vital part of the story in her report. Although filing a complaint may not even do you any good; if the CPS worker saw it as an accident, then her superior may see it the same way; you don't know until you try.
My husband has been fighting in court for years now. It seems that every time he goes to court he looses a little more. Like last time she complained that she doesn't get weekends with him so they gave her one weekend a month. But when my husband said she is not following the visitation order by refusing him to have him for the 2 weeks they say nothing or do nothing. Plus we mentioned that she was receiving welfare for him and child support at the same time, they told my husband that when he is financially able that he would have to pay back all the welfare she received for the boy.

My husband has been fighting in court for years now. It seems that every time he goes to court he looses a little more. Like last time she complained that she doesn't get weekends with him so they gave her one weekend a month. But when my husband said she is not following the visitation order by refusing him to have him for the 2 weeks they say nothing or do nothing. Plus we mentioned that she was receiving welfare for him and child support at the same time, they told my husband that when he is financially able that he would have to pay back all the welfare she received for the boy.


Paying back Welfare is how the Law works.

I don't understand why she - with the assistance of the Court - is steamrolling your husband like this. Did you say you have an Attorney? If so, find another one; if not, I think you need to get one.

Paying back Welfare is how the Law works.

I don't understand why she - with the assistance of the Court - is steamrolling your husband like this. Did you say you have an Attorney? If so, find another one; if not, I think you need to get one.

I don't see how my husband has to pay back all the welfare she is collecting. He pays his child support and the boys medical and dental and vision and all the transportation not including all the food and clothes when he is with us. No we do not have a lawyer we can't afford one. I am the only one working and I only bring home 2000 a month, my husband had to have a kidney removed and has a few surgeries coming to have rods taken from his leg due to the car accident we were in. His disability ran out last year, but he still continues to pay all that was required from court. When is it time that the mother takes responsibility in raising her child. And today he got served with papers to go to court again. She stated that I am claiming their child on my taxes and she doesn't want me to have any rights to the boy, Me and my husband are legally married here in this country and both of us born here can we not file taxes together?

I dont see how my husband has to pay back all the welfare she is collecting. He pays his child support and the boys medical and dental and vision and all the transportation not including all the food and clothes when he is with us. No we do not have a lawyer we can't afford one. I am the only one working and I only bring home 2000 a month, my husband had to have a kidney removed and has a few surgeries coming to have rods taken from his leg due to the car accident we were in. His disability ran out last year, but he still continues to pay all that was required from court. When is it time that the mother takes responsibility in raising her child. And today he got served with papers to go to court again. She stated that I am claiming their child on my taxes and she doesnt want me to have any rights to the boy, Me and my husband are legally married here in this country and both of us born here can we not file taxes together?


You can file your taxes jointly. You cannot take the exemption for the child unless that's what the Court has ordered. Are you taking the exemption and deductions for the child?

If your husband's income has been substantially reduced then he needs to prove that in Court and get his support payments lowered. If he has NO income - which appears to be what you are saying - then he needs to present that proof to the Court. When he's in Court he needs to address the income tax matters. When he goes to Court he should ask your question - why is he reimbursing Welfare if he's paid every cent ordered and has never missed a payment - ?

Where you were born has nothing to do with this - the exemption needs to be ordered by the Court.

You can file your taxes jointly. You cannot take the exemption for the child unless that's what the Court has ordered. Are you taking the exemption and deductions for the child?

If your husband's income has been substantially reduced then he needs to prove that in Court and get his support payments lowered. If he has NO income - which appears to be what you are saying - then he needs to present that proof to the Court. When he's in Court he needs to address the income tax matters. When he goes to Court he should ask your question - why is he reimbursing Welfare if he's paid every cent ordered and has never missed a payment - ?

Where you were born has nothing to do with this - the exemption needs to be ordered by the Court.
The judge told the mother that she couldn't file taxes so why was she worrying about it. And that the father pays his support, to leave it be, but they did not order that she could or he could and he had been file taxes with him since he was born.