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View Full Version : Friendship vs. Lovers


newstart1983
Jan 25, 2009, 02:00 PM
Hello. Ok so here it goes. I began to see this woman about 2 months ago. Things were great excellent chemistry in many areas, when we were not together we were on the phone with each other for 5 plus hours a night, etc. Though I knew that she was recently in a relationship in which she was engaged prior to me I did not know as to when they broke up. Recently she told me that we met two weeks after she broke up with him. Since then she has proclaimed that she is not ready for a relationship yet. Which is understandable granted the time frame in which we met so we resorted to being friends. Yet since then she has been on dates with other men, and wants to do the whole single thing for some time. We still hangout and talk in the same manner as we did before to an extent, yet were not having sex because we have been intimate in an emotional manner. As she stated, "if we have sex again it’s because I want to be with you, and not have you as a F@$# buddy." I respect and trust this girl a lot and wish her to be happy even if it’s not in my arms, she deserves it. But obviously I do want her to be in my arms. I have been in my share of long and short relationships in my 25 years to know that this one is a good one. At the same time I know that if I become needy, jealous or anything like that I will push her away. Yet when she tells me that I make her happy, I’m good for her, she cares a lot for me and she likes me, and then tells me she’s going on a date with someone I can’t help but be jealous in away. But she also said that if I go out with someone, she will be jealous. In some ways I think this is a test just to see how I react, and at the same time I don’t. In the end, I hope she goes and does her thing and realize that we are good together. I’m trying to handle this situation in a mature and responsible manner and to an extent I think I am. What’s everyone’s take on this, and what advice would you give?

nike 1
Jan 25, 2009, 03:12 PM
Go out with other people. She is. Come on, she will obviously see you are needy if you don't and she does. If she is into you, she wouldn't be out with other guys. If she truly will get jealous, there's only one way to find out.

ja77
Jan 25, 2009, 03:54 PM
From the point that she started dating and seeing other people should have been a clear sign to you that she wants to have fun and not settle down. It sounds that this relationship moved very quick that you dated for a sort time but where having sex?

I do not want to sound harsh but you may have been a rebound relationship for her.

Move on with your life, stop worring about what you do not have - go out and have a good time and enjoy your own single life.

newstart1983
Jan 25, 2009, 05:29 PM
I should have clarified more. Don't get me wrong I realized I was a rebound. Kind of easy to figure that one out lol, and its not like I've been waiting by the phone or anything, I've been doing my thing as well. But when we act in certain manners that she has initiated it does make you wonder. Pretty much I am going with the flow, and if things work out great, if not so be it that's life.

talaniman
Jan 27, 2009, 11:18 AM
I suggest you take a hint from her behavior, and that's dating who she wants when she want whenever she wants.

You should be doing the same.