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View Full Version : My boyfriend can't let it go


Chelsz
Jan 24, 2009, 10:01 PM
Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 1 1/2 years and last summer we were going through a rough patch. I started talking to another guy online but just as a friend. He was so nice and just uplifting during a hard time. The guy ended up getting feelings for me and I somewhat had feelings for him and we started talking on the phone often. He's in the navy and lives in CA so there's no way anything could ever happen and I didn't want anything to happen I just needed a friend.
My boyfriend ended up finding a bunch of texts from this guy and flipped out. He broke up with me but when we finally talked about it he realized how much I loved him and that I didn't do it because I wanted to cheat. He decided to forgive me and move past it.
I thought everything was great between us but then last night he blew up at me and told me we aren't meant to be and I'm just like every other girl. He said he can't get over what I did and every night before we go to sleep he thinks about it and he feels sick. He's still so angry at me, but I don't know what to do. We kind of broke up but we are now back together. I just don't know how to deal with this because I love him so much and he loves me, but we can't move on if he always hold this against me. Please help.

hoightoider
Jan 24, 2009, 11:14 PM
He is sending you a strong signal to run for your life. He sounds very insecure and controlling to me. You don't want this guys as he will make your life a living hell.

nike 1
Jan 25, 2009, 01:34 AM
I can understand why he is having a hard time with this. You need to put yourself in his shoes and think how you would feel if the roles were reversed. It's not an insecurity issue with him, it's that he is insecure with the relationship. If you want this relationship to work, you will have to give him the time to get over this and meanwhile I would encourage your commitment to him and stop texting other guys completely. It's one thing to talk to another guy in a social situation and another to be talking on the phone or texting other guys. It is rude and inconsiderate to your boyfriend and would be to you if he were doing so with other girls.

ja77
Jan 25, 2009, 06:16 AM
Communication - Communication - Communication

You need to have a long honest talk with your boyfriend about what has happened and the way you want things to be.

You need to be ready to give him space so that he can heal and deal with what has happened. You must understand that even when nothing come of what was happening with you and this other guy, he still feels very hurt and angry about it, put yourself in his place - how would you feel -

I also feel that you should not be in a relationship together until all is in the open and clear, because you are just setting each other up for a fall as it will not work until things are clear.