Im a 16 year old male. The symptoms about verbal question based communication isn't because I'm dumb, because I believe I'm smarter then the average human reasons for this is: I'm reasonable, logical , analytical, I can practically teach myself anything I want to know, and I'm very philosophical.( not trying to cocky)If someone types to be a question or writes it down, I can answer it easily.

I my socially awkwardness/laziness got worse as time progressed.I get nervous really easily and find it hard to think straight. I find myself thinking about the past/previous situations, and constantly thinking about them. I think about what I did wrong and how I can capitalize. It gets weird because I like recreate the situation in mind then go through the situation with what I could say and what the results would/should be.

I was at school sitting at my lunch table with some old friends; some days I don't even talk at lunch (idk, but I thought it was because I didn't know what to talk about and that they mainly talk about subjects I'm not firm in). One day I needed to this kid at the next table if I could copy his notes, I thought about it and what I wanted to say; For some reason I was nervous/scared to ask him. Maybe I was scared I would look dumb or something, but I don't know.

What I believe causing this is:
Playing a lot of online video games(ruined social life)
Insecurity
Adhd/add(which ever one)
Anxiety


Symptoms:
- I plan out what I will say, and dread the "awkwardness" that might come up. Sometimes I just make up an excuse so that I don't have to see them so that I can avoid this "awkwardness"
-I usually wonder to myself if the other person is feeling "awkward" and if they feel comfortable in the situation
-I feel like everything I say is extremely stupid, and regret saying things
-I if someone asks me a question verbally, it is hard for me comprehend it and think of a answer
-Hard for me to start a conversation and keep it going
-I will procrastinate work constantly
-I will sometimes skip test days because I'm scared to fail
-Always tired
-When I'm tired I feel like I'm drunk and I can not pay attention
-hard for me to say my thoughts
-I find it a lot easier talking to people over the internet
-sweaty hands/feet
-Always thinking about what people are thinking, most of the time I'm correct
-find myself thinking about irrelevant stuff a lot

It isn't that I don't have friends to talk to. I have people to talk to but I don't. Some times when I get into a deep conversation with my dad it is as if I just talk, not really thinking about what I'm saying. This may not be worded correctly, but this is how it feels. When I think it is as if there are 2 parts of me, my body and my mind. My mind does all the thinking and my body acts. Now when I get into that deep conversation with my father( doesn't happen much), it is as if the mind part isn't thinking/analyzing fully.I don't get into much deep conversations with people, but if I do I find it hard to analyze them and talk at the same time.

Is it a disorder or something or me just not being a social person. I hardly ever start a conversation and when I do I usually tell someone something or ask a question. A normal conversation with me last about 5 minutes, after which it becomes awkward silence.
Maybe I should be more active or something and read up on sports, so I have something to talk about? My main profession of knowledge is technology/electronics.

I was trying to maybe teach myself how to socialize through imitating a paradigm shift, by capitalizing on past experiences; generally analyzing previous thoughts/mindset/etc. Im starting to think maybe it is a disorder, but self fixable.


Let me know what you think
I want to try to avoid going to a shrink, because I will probably forget most of what I said, lol. Ill go if I have to, or figured out my I'm diagnosed with.

I think all of what you just said is perfectly normal for your age. Fearing certain situations, the anxiety of being a teenager in high school, the awkward conversational moments, and the not-knowing-what's-next stage is very natural. Now I don't really know you but given what you just stated that you don't usually converse with your friends at the lunch table and that you can easily answer a question, I would say it's because your sumwht of a closed person. Therefore, keeping your thoughts and feelings bottled up inside you allows for them to mature, giving way to your mature outlook of life. You analyze, observe, think, and rethink.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that don't worry too much towards this state of urz, it's evident that I understand what your trying to say... just take it easy and try to lighten up with time. I guess fear of what this may be is wht's stressing u. so acknowledge the fact that it's really nothing, and just enjoy life for its simplicity.

In actuality, having these traits is what makes you a unique person.. what sets you aside from your friends. Embrace them:)

Hi, shroomba!

Whether it's a disorder of some kind or not, isn't something that anyone here would be able to diagnose. I do agree with the answer by L8L8L in many ways.

If you would like to discuss things further on this site, that would be great! However, if you're wondering if you have some sort of disorder, then you would need to consult a health professional of some kind.

If you think that your playing online video games so much could be a part of your problem, (and, it probably is), how about seeing what happens if you play them much less and make positive, pro-active attempts at socializing more? It does take practice to learn how to and how not to be around and interact with people.

I do wish for you only the best!

Thanks!

Thank you

I think it is a mixture of anxiety(possible adhd) and forgetting how to be social.
I used to be a lot more social back in the day; so maybe I need to retrain my mind.
EX: anorexic/bulimia people forget how to use the restroom from continuing their eating habits.

Adderoll makes me concentrate a lot more and kind of motivates me.
Last night I took a xanex and it kind of made me feel normal as in, when I get into a deep conversation my body can't keep up with my thoughts nor can I completely pay attention to the surrounding and analyze, but I could.

Which makes me believe I could have a disorder.
Anyone know who to talk to about getting prescribed meds?does it have to be a shrink?multiple choices?

Is there a forum where professional health people reside at?

Well do you make eye contact? You sound a lot like my son ,at 16 they thought he might have aspergers.he had a hard time making friends because of it.always anxiety,and delutions and paranoid somebody was out to get him.scared to get lost in a store.panic attacks.see a doctor.

OK back in the day I could deal with loads of school work easily because I would procrastinate work all the time. Now I cant. I don't even have much work and I'm so anxious about it. I sat here on the computer worrying about for 3 hours instead of actually doing it. I can't think straight anymore. I can't pay attention at school anymore. It feels like I'm going crazy. Like I don't have suicidal thoughts but I wish I was dead when the anxiety is going. I will stare at my fan wishing it would break and like kill me, stuff like that. Sometimes I almost cry like it feels like the tears are going to come out, but I can hold them back.

It feels like this started this year, around final exams about 2-3 months ago. These past 3 days it's been getting worse. I usually have to smoke a cigarette to calm down. I told my mom, "mom i think i need to see a psychiatrist about anxiety". She sits in my computer chairs, 4 feet away from me while I'm in my bed laying down and tells me I need to keep my faith up, etc. She suggested that I did small prayers to calm down. The problem is I think that only works if you truly believe in it.

She now worries about and stuff and views me differently (not in a bad way), which is the reason I didn't want to tell her anything in the first place. Any advice it feels like I'm going crazy.

I don't think I messed up my brain or anything because this is what I've done so far in the drug world:
1 oral Vicodin, snorted 1 , parachuted 2,
Took total of 3.25 mgs of xanax ,
Took adderal 8 times, snorted 1 adderal ,
Took 1 pure hydrocodone,
Smoked weed about 500-1000 times
Smoked about a pack of cigarettes

I started smoking weed last spring break. I have not smoked weed since last Saturday, do you think that is what is causing the problem.

Hi again, shroomba!

If you've used anything that is mind-altering or mood-affecting in any way, why not try laying off those things to see how you feel?

Would that be a possibility? I'm sure that you could do it if you tried!

Thanks!

There are a few things you can try to improve your sociability, which various self help books will suggest such as :

Playing sports - most sports you don't have to talk - although after the game you have a common subject to talk about. The most important thing is not to be good at a sport, but to do your best, and turn up on time. People will appreciate that more than other things. If you play a sport enough you will get reasonably good.

Keep up to date with the news - especially sports - it's quite an easy topic to talk about that most men are interested in.

Be interested in other people - ask them questions about themselves. If you like people and find them interesting, this will come over - and in general people like to talk about themselves.

Teach yourself to tell jokes. My brother was a bit of a comedian - I thought that it was a natural thing, and then I found he kept a joke book, where he would write down jokes to remember them, and he would tell them over and over again to different people, improving the delivery.

Hope that helps.

Hey shroomba. This may be a bit long but do read it, you might find it helpful.


From what you're saying I can relate to you in many ways. I'm also 16, I'm good in electronics.. and well I also have a certain disorder.

I'm not too keen on socialising with people, because I just don't fit in. To be honest, I fit in perfectly, but I just don't want to.

I also consider myself to be smarter than my other class mates, not only because I'm a few months older than them, but because I just am, and have succeeded where others have failed. But that doesn't stop me from talking to people and just getting along - I don't want to be a social reject.

You mentioned you've taken weed. Taken it a lot of times too. Now I'm no stranger to weed, and if you're talking about your body not being able to keep up with your mind - it's because of the weed. I'm no doctor (altough I hope to be) but from my experience it's just not good for you.

I also recently gave up smoking, about 10 days ago. Why? Because it's just stupid. It took me 2 and a half years to realise that myself, but I've finally done it and realised that it sucks.

The cigarette doesn't "calm you down". That's all in your head. You let some TV program, program your mind to think that smoking actually calms you down, and now it does. The truth is, there aren't any chemical substances in cigarettes that physically calm you down. Once you remove that thought from your mind, you won't need a cigarette anymore. Trust me - been there, done that - smoking is really NOT worth it in the long run.

What you need to do is get the hell off the computer. I've also got a strong adiction to video games, but after 4 years I've managed to control it now.

Video games are great fun, of course they are - but not when they're at the expense of your social life. All things in moderation - that includes the computer.

Get out more, and talk to your friends about anything - stop hiding from "awkwardness". You are the one creating the awkwardness, because it happens when YOU talk to people - that's what you just told us.

Why not become more confident? You've distinguished yourself as a special person, of above average intelligence - what have you to fear?

You should be confident, and remember that when speaking to someone, you should have nothing to fear because you're just as good as they are, and perhaps even better.


Think about what I've said.

Take care,

-Xm8

Funny I have made the same mental theories and thought about it. It helps hearing the same views from someone else. I know the answer but I ask anyway. Funny how I'm so hypocritical.
"best way to bull , is to believe your bull"-me


Ill fully respond in a bit, I just smoked a J and bouta finish my precal hw.

Feels like I forget what I think; feels nice too be reminded.


If this post seems odd ignore it.