Would you date someone who is not documented in the US ( illigal)? He came in to this country 10 years ago to try to make a better life. I have been dating someone who is in this situation and he is very limited in everything. He can only work the jobs that no one else will do ( and gets paid very little) he can not get a drivers liceance or ID card. Would you see a future with someone in this situation?

I worked with someone who married a man that was illegal. It ended horribly. I'm sure not every situation is the same, but from her experience I wouldn't recommend it. He eventually got deported and now their kids can't see their father.

Just seems like too many problems to overcome... Not just jobs and driving a car are affected...

Can't get health insurance, can't travel, have to walk on egg shells to avoid detection, can't use financial tools (ie: loans and mortgages).

A life like that doesn't seem appealing to me but its up to you. I would suggest getting out before your feelings get too serious.

I think my answer would be no and I don't think you should put yourself in this situation.

Why doesn't he goes through the proper channels to become legal?

I just spoke to my uncle that works for immgration and he said that the person your dating can't apply for a green card because he's illegal. You need a visa in order to apply for a green card. Also you need a family member or employer to apply on your behalf for a green card but the department of immgration is accepted applications for green cards and it can be downloaded from their website and mail in. So in a nutshell someone is lying.

I just spoke to my uncle that works for immgration and he said that the person your dating can't apply for a green card because he's illegal. You need a visa in order to apply for a green card. Also you need a family member or employer to apply on your behalf for a green card but the department of immgration is accepted applications for green cards and it can be downloaded from their website and mail in. So in a nutshell someone is lying.

No one is lying. If you read what I wrote earlier you will see that I wrote "he can't because he is illigal" Believe me I am aware of the immigration laws. In Mexico its very hard to get a visa ( you need lots of money ) and that's why many choose to come to this county the way they do. Regardless, my question was on dating not immigration laws but thanks for the information.

I would like to clear the air. You didn't disagree with a statement I made you disagreed with a question I ask which was "why don't he go through the proper channels to become legal?"

I answered your other question too and am curious to know if this is the same guy? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/dating-guy-who-raising-child-not-his-301389-2.html

Yes. Why do you ask? Is your answer different now?

My feeling generally is that most of us see the red flags that will result in the end of a relationship at the very beginning but we choose to justify and overlook them. This is a big one for a few different reasons. First, if he's not here legally, you are right - his income and other rights will be grossly curtailed. Second, you will always have the fear of him being sent packing hanging over you. If you have kids together, you will not be able to enforce his payment of support whether you are together or apart.

I would also look at the culture and laws of the country he is from. Some countries do not acknowledge women as having legal rights, and if you were to have children, you would risk that he would take them home and you would have no recourse whatsoever to get them back.

There are a lot of benefits to being an American citizen and I would let him know that you like him, but he has to go through legal channels to become a citizen if he wants to be with you and part ways until he's on track with that process.

The current environment is very sympathetic to immigrants here illegally, particularly from Mexico. He can contact an immigration attorney and find out what would be involved.

As for you, dating is about finding someone who will enhance your life and help you build it in accordance with your priorities, values and dreams - additional to providing you love. If this relationship can't offer that, well, to me it's a deal breaker.

As for you, dating is about finding someone who will enhance your life and help you build it in accordance with your priorities, values and dreams - additional to providing you love. If this relationship can't offer that, well, to me it's a deal breaker.

Says it all right there. Everyone should use that motto when they date.

Unless he does something very positive, he has no future, and if you get hooked up with him, it will make your future as dim, or uncertain as his.

Least of which, he is subject to arrest, and deportation at any time, whether you are with him or not. That's just the reality of your situation with dealing with some one outside the law.

If this is the guy in your other post, I sincerely wish you the best. Having a good partner is better than being rich, and may be worth any risks you go through.

Nice catch Liz!

Well one can not control and stop who we love. And it is not always for our benefit,

But they will have to try and work on becoming a citizen

No one is lying. If you read what I wrote earlier you will see that I wrote "he can't because he is illigal" Believe me I am aware of the immigration laws. In Mexico its very hard to get a visa ( you need lots of money ) and thats why many choose to come to this county the way they do. Regardless, my question was on dating not immigration laws but thanks for the information.



I have asked one of the Immigration experts from the legal board to take a look at this thread and give a definitive, legal answer to the Immigration question - obviously not the relationship question.

Would you date someone who is not documented in the US ( illigal)? He came in to this country 10 years ago to try to make a better life. I have been dating someone who is in this situation and he is very limited in everything. He can only work the jobs that no one else will do ( and gets paid very little) he can not get a drivers liceance or ID card. Would you see a future with someone in this situation?

There is probability to get him legal but it is not easy, it takes years, and it is very expensive. The case must be taken care of by experienced immigration attorney only.

There are 2 different types of the so called "illegal aliens":

1. Those who entered US on non-immigrant visas and overstayed their visas. This group may be able to file for adjustment of status without leaving US.

2. Those who sneaked into US without inspection. This group cannot file adjustment of status while in US, they must return to their home country and have the US citizen sponsor filed proper visa on their behalves only.

If you are US citizen, you should be aware of consequences of getting married to an alien, illegal or not. As a sponsor, you are obligated to your alien spouse for 10 years if he works, or until he becomes naturalized. This simply means if he receives welfare, the government will come after you for that sum of $$$ and most importantly, this debt cannot be wiped out when you file for bankruptcy.

Do not be blind with love... use your brain. Do not rush as the chance that you will be "used" as stepping stone in order to obtain greencard is more than 90%.

Another major problem is when love flies out the windows, most couples end up hating each other... and follow with revenge, parental kidnapping charges when you find out that your spouse already fled the country with your baby, etc.