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View Full Version : I'm not to sure what to do about being raped and abused


shannonbug
Jan 8, 2009, 02:54 PM
When I was young a certain someone raped me and abuses me when that person gets drunk but I don't want to tell social services because I herd that who you are staying with you get taken away and can't see your family or friends anymore. What should I do I will take any edvice you can give me! Please!

rhiannahunt
Jan 8, 2009, 04:25 PM
when i was young a certain someone raped me and abuses me when that person gets drunk but i dont want to tell social services because i herd that who you are staying with you get taken away and can't see your family or friends anymore. what should i do i will take any edvice you can give me! please!


Are you young? Do you live with this person that abused you?

shannonbug
Jan 8, 2009, 09:35 PM
are you young? Do you live with this person that abused you?

I am turning 15 in march and yes I live with them

rhiannahunt
Jan 9, 2009, 12:46 AM
i am turnin 15 in march and yes i live with them

When you say them, does that mean two people did this? Does another person in the family know what happened. I need a little more information. Is it a parent? Are your parents together?

truthxbextold
Jan 11, 2009, 12:45 PM
I know it seems like your life will be turned upside down at first but you must tell a trusted family member or a school guideance couceler. The person that did this will be removed from your home,there will be an investigation and everyone that lives in your home will be questioned.if they find that you and your siblings are safe within the home with an adult you should be able to stay there.if not you will proably be placed with a relative or foster parents.you really need to talk to a trusted adult.you shouldn't have to face this monster everyday.

shannonbug
Jan 13, 2009, 03:24 PM
when you say them, does that mean two people did this? Does another person in the family know what happened. I need a little more information. Is it a parent? Are your parents together?

No its one person a parent and no no one else in my family knows only very close friends

BB683
Jan 18, 2009, 07:54 AM
First, you are VERY VERY BRAVE in seeking answers.
1. How is your relationship with your other parent.
2. Do you feel comportable in telling that parent what's going on?
3. If you have not told, is it because you feel to blame?
4. What is the abusive parent saying about what they are doing to you?
5. As for the parent who is abusing you, are you their child by birth?

shannonbug
Jan 18, 2009, 05:13 PM
First, you are VERY VERY BRAVE in seeking answers.
1. How is your relationship with your other parent.
2. Do you feel comportable in telling that parent what's going on?
3. If you have not told, is it because you feel to blame?
4. What is the abusive parent saying about what they are doing to you?
5. As for the parent who is abusing you, are you their child by birth?

I have told my other parent but they won't believe me they didn't believe when my older sister was getting abused either

No I don't feel comfortable telling them because I am afraid they will believe I am making this up and do more harm to me

I don't feel like its my fault but in a way I do because maybe they were trying to punish me for something I did wrong

The person does not remember

Yes they ae my birth parents

shannonbug
Jan 18, 2009, 05:14 PM
i know it seems like your life will be turned upside down at first but you must tell a trusted family member or a school guideance couceler. the person that did this will be removed from your home,there will be an investigation and everyone that lives in your home will be questioned.if they find that you and your siblings are safe within the home with an adult you should be able to stay there.if not you will proably be placed with a relative or foster parents.you really need to talk to a trusted adult.you shouldnt have to face this monster everyday.

I know I am just so afraid to be taken away from everyone I know and care about

Alty
Jan 18, 2009, 05:26 PM
Shannon, you are in a very difficult situation, one you cannot hope to handle yourself.

Sweetie, you need to tell someone. I know it won't be easy, I know that you're scared, and I know that you feel stuck. Really, this is too much for a 15 year old to handle by herself.

Do you have an Aunt or Uncle that you trust? How about your sister? Do you feel comfortable talking to a teacher or the school counsellor.

You know that this abuse isn't going to stop as long as your under the same roof as this person.

I wish I could be there in person, help you through this, but I can't. You need to change your future, because the present isn't good.

I was abused as a child, but not by a parent, by my cousin. I never told, and it still haunts me to this day.

Sweetie, please, you have to tell someone, we'll be here if you need to talk, but we can't be with you in person to help you through this.

Big deep breath, you know you have to tell. It's okay to be scared, but I'd rather you be scared and safe, then quiet and in danger.

We're here for you.

BB683
Jan 20, 2009, 11:43 AM
i have told my other parent but they wont believe me they didnt believe when my older sister was gettin abused either

no i dont feel confortable telling them because i am afraid they will believe i am makeing this up and do more harm to me

i dont feel like its my fault but in a way i do because maybe they were trying to punish me for something i did wrong

the person does not remember

yes they ae my birth parents

Is it that the abusine parent does not remember? Was it a long time ago?

truthxbextold
Jan 20, 2009, 04:17 PM
i know i am just so afraid to be taken away from everyone i know and care about

I think you should call a hot line like a shelter for abused women or just a teen hot line and ask them what will happen.if I was your mom,you would never be questioned about telling the truth,that monster would be prosicuted to the fullest extent of the law.I feel sorry that you have to go through this as I have a 15 year old and my heart goes out to you.

shannonbug
Jan 22, 2009, 09:21 PM
Shannon, you are in a very difficult situation, one you cannot hope to handle yourself.

Sweetie, you need to tell someone. I know it won't be easy, I know that you're scared, and I know that you feel stuck. Really, this is too much for a 15 year old to handle by herself.

Do you have an Aunt or Uncle that you trust? How about your sister? Do you feel comfortable talking to a teacher or the school counsellor.

You know that this abuse isn't going to stop as long as your under the same roof as this person.

I wish I could be there in person, help you through this, but I can't. You need to change your future, because the present isn't good.

I was abused as a child, but not by a parent, by my cousin. I never told, and it still haunts me to this day.

Sweetie, please, you have to tell someone, we'll be here if you need to talk, but we can't be with you in person to help you through this.

Big deep breath, you know you have to tell. It's okay to be scared, but I'd rather you be scared and safe, then quiet and in danger.

We're here for you.

... what if he finds out before they get the chance to do something?

shannonbug
Jan 22, 2009, 09:27 PM
i think you should call a hot line like a shelter for abused women or just a teen hot line and ask them what will happen.if i was your mom,you would never be questioned about telling the truth,that monster would be prosicuted to the fullest extent of the law.i feel sorry that you have to go through this as i have a 15 year old and my heart goes out to you.

Thank you... alot of people r giving me support... and it does help so much thank you from the bottom of my heart

ss_aa_rr_aa
Jan 23, 2009, 12:43 AM
I think Shannonbug you should at least by the time they are (or this single parent) drunk just get out of their way.. and the problem is solved! I know you need a parent to be nice and understanding to u.. But what if for once you stop being playing the child part! This way they will know that you don't care any more.. don't do un thoughtful things.. after all you want this parent to get the help of alcohol supporting groups.. and the only way this person is going to go there is by you not giving them any attention.. this way they will know they they messed up their life badly! And start seeking the help to stop this drinking problem! After all you should look inside of your heart to know is it worth to just for more 3 years to actually destroy every thing you had been living nicely with this person! I mean if this parent was not a good parent and loving one from the beginning when you were a lil' boy I mean.. then yes feel free to destroy every thing after all they only care about their happiness! But if they were caring and loving parent to you and only this drinking problem is ruinning every thing then you should act wisely . I know it seems too hard to do and you think you are too young to take so much responsibilities but some times parents also need the help of their children! Because we are always familiar with the idea that the children need the help of their parents but some times things get messed up! And if you love them then don't try to mess it up more. And remember always get out of their way when they are drunk! Always! And when they abuse you know deep down in your heart that they don't mean it.. its just the alcohol that is making them going crazy! Best wishes

ss_aa_rr_aa
Jan 23, 2009, 12:45 AM
And sorry I think you are a she not a he! Sorry

missmom07
Jan 24, 2009, 02:28 PM
It doesn't matter how much alcohol a person consumes, they are still respobsible for their actions and they KNOW what they are doing! It is NOT healthy to run and hide every time they come home drunk. There are many many people out there that are willing to help. There are shelters that you can contact and get free counseling. It really helps. Please tell somebody, anybody. This is NOT your fault at all. I was molested by a family friend for a year and to this day I wish I would have said something. I ended up being kidnapped and was found a week later (when I was 14). This is nothing to wait around. Please, Please, PLEASE tell someone. Tell someone at school, or use a pay-phone to call a hot-line like a previous post said to do. I am now 22 years old. I have moved on. I felt like my life was over and I could never get past the fact that it happened to me. I was so scared and that is why I never told anyone. I since have moved on and have a son of my own. If I thought for one minute that he was being harmed, all hell would break loose. I wish you the best of luck with this situation and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.

nitelight198073
Jan 24, 2009, 02:59 PM
Try your school guidance counselor and the counselor can help you handle it... I am sorry you have to go through this but I have been molested and abused also from the time of 8-13 please please tell someone it is a heavy and horrible cross to bear.

Wondergirl
Jan 24, 2009, 03:09 PM
And report him for the sake of all the other children he might have molested in the past, is molesting now, and will molest in the future. You know he has done this more than once. How many more times will he do this?? Aren't you going to stop him? It's for his sake too, don't forget.

Mymama
Jan 24, 2009, 08:15 PM
i think Shannonbug u should at least by the time they are (or this single parent) drunk just get out of their way.. and the problem is solved! i know u need a parent to be nice and understanding to u.. but what if for once u stop being playing the child part! this way they will know that u dont care any more.. dont do un thoughtful things.. after all u want this parent to get the help of alcohol supporting groups.. and the only way this person is gonna go their is by u not giving them any attention.. this way they will know thay they messed up their life badly! and start seeking the help to stop this drinking problem! after all u should look inside of ur heart to know is it worth to just for more 3 years to actually destroy every thing u had been living nicely with this person! i mean if this parent was not a good parent and loving one from the beginning when u were a lil' boy i mean.. then yes feel free to destroy every thing after all they only care about their happiness! but if they were caring and loving parent to u and only this drinking problem is ruinning every thing then u should act wisely . i know it seems too hard to do and u think u r too young to take so much responsibilities but some times parents also need the help of their children! coz we are always familiar with the idea that the children need the help of their parents but some times things get messed up! and if u love them then dont try to mess it up more. and remember always get out of their way when they r drunk! always! and when they abuse you know deep down in your heart that they dont mean it.. its just the alcohol that is making them going crazy! best wishes

I think you are very wrong! If you have never been abused then you have no idea of what she is going though. This person is DESTROYING her life! Who cares if it is the drinking, they can always stop drinking but she will never be able to stop the pain. I know how she feels. Mine was my brother and he didn't have a drinking problem.

Shannon You need to find anyone that you trust and go to them right away. My mom was the same way, she had to call my sister and ask her about it...

jenn4094u
Jan 25, 2009, 11:51 PM
Tell someone, anyone that this is happening! A friends parents, a school official, a police officer, social service... ANYONE! You will be removed from your home, but will not loose your friends and family. You need to get help right away... this has already hurt you in so many ways. It kills me that I don't know who you are , because I'm a Mother and would do anything I could to help you! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL SOMEONE! You don't have to live like this, and definitely don't deserve to... email me if you want to talk... [email protected]... my name is Jennifer