LilyAnn
Jan 4, 2009, 04:12 PM
Hello. I am a single parent raising a 9 yr old in my parents (his grandparents) home. I share custody with his father who lives out of state with his girlfriend. We went to court 2 yrs ago and it was REALLY ugly. In a nutshell, when my ex decided to move out of state he took our son with him on what was supposed to be a 2wk vacation and then refused to fly him back and said that I gave him "verbal consent" to move our child out of state. Needless to say, we went to court and it was hell, but I got custody and our son visits his father 6wks in the summer and we alternate holidays. I can't help but be resentful and apprehensive when dealing with my ex because of what he did. He is untrustworthy and has an ill character.
My son has a good life here. He goes to a good school, has many friends, and has lots of love and support from me and my family and friends. I also have a boyfriend who is not as close with my son as I would like, but he is a good man and a very good role-model. On the other hand, my father (his grandpa) is a complete . He is just a grumpy old man and not fun to be around. I avoid him at all costs. My son feels this as well. He is very opinionated and grouchy and very nosy and he's ALWAYS home. He is retired so he doesn't go anywhere EVER. My son has seen and heard my father and I argue more times than I would like to admit and my father loves to use foul language while screaming in your face! It is definitely not the best environment and my boyfriend and I intend to move out together as soon as we both can afford too. HOPEFULLY SOON!
I am very torn because every time my son comes back from visiting his father he tells me he wants to live there permanently. He also has a very bad attitude and is very rude towards me (which is not like him). This breaks my heart because I am his mom and I love him with every ounce of my being and I don't want him to be that far away. His Dad rarely calls (maybe once a month), and he's about $3,000 behind on child support. He basically pays when he feels like it. But at the same time, I could see why my son would want to live there because of my father.
However, I know there is not a lot of discipline when he is with his father. He brags about being able to stay up until 3am in the morning and so forth. He is also allowed to watch things I would never allow him to watch and play games that are way too graphic for his age. He also comes back and I can tell he hasn't brushed his teeth in days and he'll admit to it! His father also has a bad temper and is very opinionated and I hear all about it when our son comes home. Overall, I don't think it's a good place for him permanently. But every time we disagree he throws it in my face. "I want to live with my Dad."
All I want is for my son to be happy and healthy and I don't want him to resent me. I am struggling to make ends meet and I don't know how long it will take me to get out of here! I am soooooo torn and am appreciative of any advice I can get!
My son has a good life here. He goes to a good school, has many friends, and has lots of love and support from me and my family and friends. I also have a boyfriend who is not as close with my son as I would like, but he is a good man and a very good role-model. On the other hand, my father (his grandpa) is a complete . He is just a grumpy old man and not fun to be around. I avoid him at all costs. My son feels this as well. He is very opinionated and grouchy and very nosy and he's ALWAYS home. He is retired so he doesn't go anywhere EVER. My son has seen and heard my father and I argue more times than I would like to admit and my father loves to use foul language while screaming in your face! It is definitely not the best environment and my boyfriend and I intend to move out together as soon as we both can afford too. HOPEFULLY SOON!
I am very torn because every time my son comes back from visiting his father he tells me he wants to live there permanently. He also has a very bad attitude and is very rude towards me (which is not like him). This breaks my heart because I am his mom and I love him with every ounce of my being and I don't want him to be that far away. His Dad rarely calls (maybe once a month), and he's about $3,000 behind on child support. He basically pays when he feels like it. But at the same time, I could see why my son would want to live there because of my father.
However, I know there is not a lot of discipline when he is with his father. He brags about being able to stay up until 3am in the morning and so forth. He is also allowed to watch things I would never allow him to watch and play games that are way too graphic for his age. He also comes back and I can tell he hasn't brushed his teeth in days and he'll admit to it! His father also has a bad temper and is very opinionated and I hear all about it when our son comes home. Overall, I don't think it's a good place for him permanently. But every time we disagree he throws it in my face. "I want to live with my Dad."
All I want is for my son to be happy and healthy and I don't want him to resent me. I am struggling to make ends meet and I don't know how long it will take me to get out of here! I am soooooo torn and am appreciative of any advice I can get!