I need help. I love two men. I love my husband even though he is so bad for me. He drinks too much, has trouble with overdosing on over the counter meds, and being verbally abusive. He went to Iraq and I allowed myself to become close friends with another man. He is perfect for me, wonderful with my kids, hard worker, good provider, and he wants me. My husband says he is changing and wants our relationship to work. I love them both. What can I do to help me make a decision one way or another before I lose them both?

GET INTO Counseling PRONTO!
If you want your marriage to work, then your husband needs to get help for his addictions, and you both need to get professional help. That also means no more other guy for you.

Well you have to make a decision think about your kids, if your husband is willing to change and willing to become the man you fell in love with, then I would consider going to counseling for your family, kids and husband. It is the least you could do for your kids. If you didn't have kids then I would say do what makes you happy but that kind of flew out the window when kids were conceived. I say go to counseling, try to get the husband back to the man you fell in love with! Good Luck

I would go into counseling to see what you really want,
Remember the "other man" dated you while you are married, so he has little morals on cheating, so when he cheats with the next married wormen don't be too surprised either.

But you introduced your "lover" to your kids while you husband was in Iraq? Sorry you lose a lot of ponts in my book for that choice.