SORRY THIS IS LONG I TEND TO WRITE A LOT GOING IN DETAIL

okay well i went out with this guy last year in october...we dated for not that long but i think i got attached he was so nice and different from other guys i had gone out with i wanted it to last...but then he broke up with me and my best friend tried being friends with him and asking why he had broke up with me i was really depressed not to mention my aunt dying in the hospital with cancer he said he'd be there for me and he wasn't i learn how to just take it in and put a fake smile on my face and i still am when i smile its just doesn't feel to me like im really smiling just hiding away so no one see's how much he hurts me well back to my friend well we were really close my and my best friend she got tired of seeing me down in the dumps so she ended up being friend with him and finding things out but it made it worst cause the things she told me made me change my mom and brother were looking at me weird i'd come to school in black just not like my usual self every body noticed even he did my aunt past away and i felt like there was no one for me to trust any more i felt like there was no meaning to life any more the one person who under stood me was Gone the one boy i loved was gone my mom not letting me go see my aunt... but i still had feeling for this guy he and i i thought went good but i guess not my friend tried seeing what happend but instead of dong what she said she was gonna do he began to like her and im not sure about her but she always tell me stuff making me feel worser and woser she'd say so many bad things and me just telling her how could u be so cold he cares for u and you take it as a joke.. i acaully did care for him but i thought it was best to push myself away from him and his brother it just was too hard to talk to him and look at him but then later we just looked at each other well my friends have told me he stared from were ever he was just glancing over too see me i guess and he talk about me to my best friend telling her why am i mad at him it was obvous to others i think it was becuz he loved her and not me i cared and i know i was stupid to change the way i was.. just when i was starting t get popular i turn very dark and started to listen to heavy metal go out every night an just party drink it up with friend not give a damm why should i i stoped caring about school and every thing all for this guy and i know im stupid... i know i am... but i was very hurt but every thing goes to show me i can't trust no one i don't i have so many thing just bottled up and not even share them with my parents or siblings it's just too hard to explain this year me and my ex started talking again i began to go back to the way i was before and do better in school and lay off the boo's we started tlaking he saud sorry but i never forgave him i don't think i could ever for give him nor my ex best friend im stupid for even trusting her in the 1st place she's done this to other friends of our's and the sucky thing is they told me this this year and not last year when that advise would have been really helpful and i could have just talk to him myself...
we talked for a month and the next month after i went to a show that was behind his house me and him had sex i did things i would have never done but now im starting to like him again and he just thinks im cute he wants just to talk to me about my ex best friend and wants to help her out since she stuggling people don't like her any more and he's tryng to help her out before any body else gets hurt...i really like him but im not sure what to do we already went out and i don't want to get hurt again but im hurting even more that we acually do it he said i was lucky i did it with him i had told him ! whats that suppose to mean he said that i did it with the person i loved and in a way im wining?
am i? what am i too do.. i have no idea what too do ppl tell me not to talk to him but i can't as much as i try i can't even hate him! i hate her more she was my best friend and too know she went out with him 5 month behind my back and beged him to keep it in secret! i just don't know any more im confused and im just acting to how i feel toward him he has me wraped around his finger and im under his spell... that was the best day of my life that night. help me!

How old are you both??

Aye aye Please I beg you write in paragraphs it's very hard to keep my place..

Yea paragraphs would be good.



Listen I've had this problem. There is a girl, who is my cousin and was supposed to be my best friend, she did this to me once, and I ended up forgiving her but she's always caused drama with guys, any guy I'm dating or just ended a relationship with she is ALL OVER, and in May the love of my life and I broke up and she was all over him which hurt the absolute worst, he never did anything with her but the fact that she was trying so hard and he wouldn't stop hanging out with her even though he knew the history I have with her made it worse. And even when I tried to talk to her about it she told me she wasn't sorry at all.

So, I understand where you're at and what you're feeling.

Here's the thing. I don't trust anyone either. My love and I broke up in May and we just got back together but its SO HARD. I can't trust him, but because I went down a bad path after we broke up he doesn't trust me either, and we have to work EVERYDAY to build the trust up.

Not trusting people is not a good way to live. Trust me, you constantly have to be afraid of people and push them away and it's a life full of anxiety and depression.

What you need to do is start looking for trustworthy people. Cut that girl out of your life she just causes drama and hurts you, you should forgive her so it stops wearing so heavy on your heart but don't give her the chance to hurt you again.

With everyone else in the world. I'm 19 and this year, for the first time in my entire life, I have a REAL friend. Someone who wants the best for me, who has the courage to tell me when I'm doing bad things, and helps me put the pieces back together when I attempt to turn things around. Always willing to listen, and will not do things that will hurt me, if by accident he does hurt me then I know I can go to him and talk about it and he'll work to come to an understanding of the situation so we can avoid it in the future.

The thing I discovered is that I was lying to myself a lot, I thought certain people were 'cool' or 'exciting' but they didn't care about me as people, and they weren't trustworthy.

Find friends who care about you.

I would stop worrying about the dating thing for a while, I know it's hard, but with everything you been through you really need to focus on getting yourself into a positive place before thinking about a relationship.

And, if you focus on getting yourself in the right place, I guarantee that when you're healthy and happy and ready for the kind of relationship you deserve, then it will happen. Don't force it. Let it come to you.

Yes, I can understand you being mad at your friend for seeing your ex behind your back but he played a part in it too. How come you can forgive him but not her? Sometimes females mess up by forgiving the guy and stay mad at the girl but that is wrong.

Now your upset because he is staying in contact with her, against your wishes, ignoring your feeling about this matter. Well you can't control him and I am going song in the same tone as your friends and family and tell you to leave him alone.

With anything you been through you don't need drama to make you fall back into the hole you just got out of. Drama is no good and you should stay away from it when possible.

To the one's who replied well I just turned 17 and he has no contact with her, they broke up and he got hurt by her like I did by both it's not that I care I would have let them go out I wouldn't have cared but the fact they did that behind my back and she never told me she just stop answering my phone calls and stop being a friend our friendship was so GREAT! And now it's down the drain.He on the other hand I can't seem to let go. I hate her with a passion but I can't hate him.. He talks to me now and says he cares I won't believe him cause I just don't want to get hurt I'm single at the moment and not going back with him or looking I need to get my prorides straight and get back on track and trust people I know bottling things inside is not good but you can't trust no one well at least I can't... I trusted her with every thing! I mean it. But I just I'm going to have to move on and get past this... I'm not sure how we ended up in bed but it was so romantic he told me he cared he said he loved me and things just fell in to place you know. I know I'm too young to be falling in love but I don't know should I stop talking to him as well? I would forgive her but how can you forgive some one who can't even confront you or talk to you I mean I did nothing wrong to her... he confronted me and told me himself he called me he started talking to me he made the 1st move... I was already getting over him and he comes back in my life just like that!

Yes, I can understand you being mad at your friend for seeing your ex behind your back but he played a part in it too. How come you can forgive him but not her? Sometimes females mess up by forgiving the guy and stay mad at the girl but that is wrong.

Now your upset because he is staying in contact with her, aganist your wishes, ignoring your feeling about this matter. Well you can't control him and I am going song in the same tone as your friends and family and tell you to leave him alone.

With anything you been through you don't need drama to make you fall back into the hole you just got out of. Drama is no good and you should stay away from it when possible.
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I haven't forgave him he knows he's hurt me as well but she was my best friend and she's done this to 3 other frineds of minee I just can't seem to hate him as I hate her she was my best friend she cheated on him and back stab him too they no longer seak to each other but now were talking and trying to make the best out of it every time he brings her up I change the subject or ask him to talk about something else I know drama isn't good for me after that medication I was under I'm glad it bite both of them in the I I got to witness it! But I feel bad I'm not so cold hearted. Every one tells me to just stay away from her she bad news and he says sorry but sorry's just a word and what I been through and all the pain he's brought I just couldn't forgive him but that spark is still there I see it he does too. We stay up some nights talking for hours and just reminising remebering the past that night things just happen so fast and it was just so unexpected and romantic

To the one's who replied well i just turned 17 and he has no contact with her, they broke up and he got hurt by her like i did by both it's not that i care i would have let them go out i wouldn't have cared but the fact they did that behind my back and she never told me she just stop answering my phone calls and stop being a friend our friendship was so GREAT! and now it's down the drain.He on the other hand i can't seem to let go. i hate her with a passion but i can't hate him.. He talks to me now and says he cares i won't believe him cause i just don't want to get hurt im single at the moment and not going back with him or looking i need to get my prorides straight and get back on track and trust ppl i know bottling things inside is not good but you can't trust no one well atleast i can't... i trusted her with every thing!! i mean it. but i just im gonna have to move on and get past this... i'm not sure how we ended up in bed but it was so romantic he told me he cared he said he loved me and things just fell in to place you know. i know im too young to be falling inlove but i don't know should i stop talking to him as well? i would forgive her but how can u forgive some one who can't even confront you or talk to you i mean i did nothing wrong to her... he confronted me and told me him self he called me he started talking to me he made the 1st move... i was already getting over him and he comes back in my life just like that!


First off rocker girl, if you can't learn to control your feelings, there is nothing we or any one else, even "him" could say to make that different. You are in control of your own feelings, because you are in control of your own thoughts, and actions. The idea is that people think then feel then act, but not really in that order, it kind of gets switched around and the 3 play off one another. THe only thing we really know is that each affets the others.

So you seem to think you are stupid, and that you're doing something wrong. Please don't do that, you are just living life the best you can, with what you know, and believe to be true. Please forgive yourself, you are a very intelegent girl, who is becoming a very wise young women. You already know it's not what you want, but what you don't know is that "love" is like a drug, once you loose it, you become depressed for a time. I imagine that you loss was hard and is still so. If you try to not be with the guy you "love" or "like" you more than likely will be depressed for a time, just like any of us do. No matter how much some one hides the pain of losing a lover, they always have it. Maybe forever.

Another thing I'd like to bring to your attention is, you may want to try forgiveing your friend, doesn't mean you'll be her friend, but just realize that she too is living her life to the best of her knowledge and belief. All people are doing this, its like our basic need to survive, if you don't feel like you are happy do you try to change things? Some times we need to learn to deal with just being content with what is, even if it's not fun, exciting, or what we want. JUst don't let any one threaton your safety, ever.

Try to keep buisy, and try to move on. Try not to be mad at any one, but if you are let out your feelings. As I said, people are all just trying to live their lives, doing what they think will make them happy, just like you they will stumble and fall. Doesn't mean you have to be great to them, but it helps to be nice/civil. You never know who's going to be there to help you later in life, Karma.

K, this is just something to consider. YOu live in what ever place you live, but there are how many people out there in the wrold? Billions, and out of them all you never know who you'll fall in love with. See you can travel beyound your "yard" to just about any where you want, even space if you got the green. So don't forget that there are still men that are wounderful out there. The trick is to find them, yes it may take a long time, but if it's really that good wouldn't it be worth waiting for?

Any way good luck, best I can suggest, go see a counsiler. No they will not fix your problem, but they can teach you techniques to cope with your situation and others like it. Take care kido.

P.S. We all get our hearts broken, so hang in there because we also make it through.