I was served divorce papers about a year ago and I live in California. I have a 401k and I have to split the remaining $ with my ex-wife. There was a QDRO in place about three months ago, but now there is not. Do they expire after a certain time? Anyway, a QDRO has to be submitted before I can split the remaining $ . I don't want to pay ANY lawyers anymore money unless it is absolutely necessary - since they are the ONLY ones who make out in divorce. So, my question is who can fill out a QDRO and does a judge have to sign it?

I was served divorce papers about a year ago and I live in California. I have a 401k and I have to split the remaining $ with my ex-wife. There was a QDRO in place about three months ago, but now there is not. Do they expire after a certain time? Anyway, a QDRO has to be submitted before I can split the remaining $ . I don't want to pay ANY lawyers anymore money unless it is absolutely necessary - since they are the ONLY ones who make out in divorce. So, my question is who can fill out a QDRO and does a judge have to sign it?

I can't say I've ever "made out" in a divorce and I've represented quite a few people in them:).

First, you said a QDRO was in place three months ago and now isn't? That doesn't make a lot of sense so you'll have to elaborate. What do you mean by "in place" and was it prepared to divide the 401(k) you are talking about here?

You asked if they expire? The answer is no.

A QDRO needs to be prepared by a lawyer who is familiar with doing them or an actuary (there's not a form to fill out but there are model QDROs that many plans will provide you as a guide to what they are looking for--but be careful with them). And,yes, a judge has to sign one. But beyond that, and more importantly, the retirement plan has to approve them and can still reject them even after a judge has signed off on one if they don't have the stuff in them the plan expects or if they have stuff in them the plan will not accept. QDRO's can be tricky so that's why you need an expert to prepare them (in all honesty some are kind of easy to do and I've even used a paralegal to prepare a few that I needed done for clients. But the guy made some dumb mistakes on one and I don't think I'm going to use him again).

There are resources online that a probably okay you might want to check out to get one prepared. The cost ranges from $500 on up in my experience but that is usually shared equally by the parties in a case.

This is utter hogwash designed by lawyers for lawyers. The equitable distribution of property really boils down to some simple math and to complicate the division of a 401(k) accomplishes exactly two things. First it allows lawyers to charge an ungodly sum of money for a relatively simple process. Second, it keeps the IRS collecting funds in the form of taxes from the poor individuals who are too ignorant or poor to be able to accomplish this. In this great state of California (yes, it's lower case on purpose) I visited the self-help website only to find that although there is no form to be used for this everyday occurrence but that it's very complicated and you absolutely should see a lawyer. I also visited our local superior court (nothing superior about it) only to be told that only a lawyer can prepare a QDRO. Further research shows that to be an outright lie; I CAN prepare one, just no one will tell me how. Why? Cause they don't know either. I was informed at the superior court by their employee that there is only one lawyer in this city of half-a-million that does QDRO preparation. Must be a nice gig to charge $500/hour for something that really requires about a 12th grade education.

Your self-serving "A QDRO needs to be prepared by a lawyer who is familar with doing them or an actuary" is a pure mis-statement of fact which even YOU point out shortly after. I would posit that MOST QDRO forms really aren't that tricky. As for your example, again, self-serving. The idiot in your example refused to follow the law and then paid the price. I WANT to follow the law but not even the lawyers can tell me what the law is. Oh wait, except for the ONE that wants to charge me $900.

You know why people don't like you and your kind (lawyers)? Because instead of teaching us to fish you teach us how to trust that your $1000 fish is the only fish we should eat. Congrats, you're one step short of the government. THIEF!