So me and my boyrfriend have been dating for a year and half now, and we are very serious, we love each other, and we always talk about get engaged and married in acouple years, our parents get along as well, and see each other very often, the same goes for us, we see each other about once in the weekday, usually mid week and then Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday

I have his e-mail password, which I got out of him one day, and check his e-mails out of curiosity, but not all the time, just when I'm bored, the other day I came across this dating site he is on, and he is messaging these girls, saying he wants to talk and go on cam with them, and at first I thought whatever, he wants to get turned on but then I looked further and found he made a separate e-mail for them, and he has acouple girls he talked to one night, it says"add me on msn, i will go on came etc"

Here's the problem how do I confront him?? I can't tell him well I have been on your e-mail account and I found... he will get really mad, and think I am invading his provacy

Please, respond, anything, no response is stupid

p.s. I made a fake account on the dating site he is on and I messgaed him saying hey, what is going on? Is that a good of bad idea?

Eh your in a world of trouble... Your damned if you do and damned if you don't.

So the only thing you can do is trust your intuition? Are you OK with this? If your answer is no then I'd say talk to him, the worst that can happen is ye break up. But if your not comfortable with something he is doing and there is secrecy now on both sides about this issue your relationship won't last anyway.

You've really crossed a line by reading his emails. There is no excuse for this. Now you have to decide on your own if you trust him or not. If you tell him you've been on his email he will probably never forgive you.

Honesty, the only way, fake id and all the play, pure childish. Take responiblity to what you did, and talk to him honestly.

Well you did something you shouldn't have but it may have been a good thing that you found this. Maybe this is a red flag. You have two choices you can confront him and own up to what you did and take the consequences even if they are severe. Or you can let it go but wonder if there is a possibility that he is taking this too far.

Well I had his password before and I brought it up before about something I found on his e-mail, something, funny and he laughed and then said so you don't trust me you have to check my e-mail I said no I just checked because I was bored, and he got alil mad, not like crazy or anything, and then changed his password, and then I got it again, he told me his password, so I don't know, you guys are right, I shouldn't be checking his e-mail, but would you consider this cheating?

Anything that is written or read while on the internet has no pretense of being private. Anybody with a lick of computer savvy can access anything on anybodies computer! Did the Op do wrong? That is not a question to be answered here. Whether she did or did not is not up to us. She might have had suspicions that lead her to look at his emails, who knows? What I do know from reading her post is that she has reasons to worry about their relationship and as such she really needs to have a talk with her boy friend and see what is going on in his head. Or dump him and move on.

450donn: no offense, but she might have had suspicions, but she says it herself that she did it b\c she was bored, so when the others in here say that it was wrong then they're kind of right.

But you should probably be honest with him, seeing as you were honest before about checking his email. What he is doing is wrong and worse, but it does seem that the two of you should have trust issues going both ways. Okay my 2 cents...

It depends on what they are doing on the webcam and what kind of rules you have set within your relationship. I know a couple who thinks its fine to dance with somebody else(no touching etc) and even to have a flirtatious conversation and that's it, while some thinks this crosses the line. If you feel betrayed then you have a right to that emotion.

You should tell him what you did and that you found stuff that concerns you.

How old are you if I may ask... (the both f you that is ;))

well i had his password before and i brought it up before about something i found on his e-mail, something, funny and he laughed and then said so u don't trust me you have to check my e-mail i said no i just checked because i was bored, and he got alil mad, not like crazy or anything, and then changed his password, and then i got it again, he told me his password, so i don't know, you guys are right, i shouldnt be checking his e-mail, but would u consider this cheating?

Hey it's not necessarily a bad thing that you checked his email. You may have just found something that you needed to see. And whether to consider this cheating or not is up to you. Do you think this is cheating? I'll tell you one thing that I do think though, and that is that this could possibly result in "cheating".

Honesty, the only way, fake id and all the play, pure childish. Take responiblity to what you did, and talk to him honestly.

You opened Pandora's email box. Now you have to pretty much tell him you broke into his email account and read his personal email.

If you play around... you'll end up getting played with and not in the fun way (it's a goes around comes around thing that NEVER EVER EVER is the way you want it to go). In the end he'll trust you less because you pretty much constantly lied to him.

The best way and only real way is is to tell the absolute and full truth. I'd say something like,


"hey (pet name for boyfriend), I got insecure the other day and I read your email. I'm sorry and it was wrong of me. I found a odd email that (was for/said). I was wondering if you could explain it to me. I'm sure it's probably nothing."

All he probably wants to know is why... what and what you think. He may be mad but you would to if he broke into yours. Don't expect the worse though. It could just be spam.

Or a better explanation would be he created a fake account too... And the women were web camera workers of the night...