View Full Version : What to do
proud_mommy
Dec 9, 2008, 12:05 AM
OK here is the thing.. me and my finacee have been together for almost 5 years now.. we also have a baby together.. well just recently my friend told me that the 5 weeks that I was in the hosptial he was cheathing on me with someone that I have known since 2nd grade.. who also happens to be his ex girlfriend.. this is the same girl that hooked us up in high school and me and him have been together ever since.. I love him dearly, he is my entire world... I just don't know what to do.. I'm scared to ask him because I don't want him to get mad at me.. I just don't know what to do or how to ask him.. any advice
Moparbyfar
Dec 9, 2008, 02:41 AM
So sorry to hear this proud_mom. How devastated you must feel. How reliable is the source from which this information came from? Do you have good reason to believe it to be true? Were/are there any signs that make it very likely?
You need to be careful before confronting him, because what you say may not be actual truth. If you know for a fact that it's true then you need to use discernment in choosing a suitable time to bring it up with him but whatever the case you do need to talk to him. Even if you said in a whimsical way "can you believe my friend such and such said you were cheating on me with what's her name the whole time I was in hospital! I don't know where she got that idea from, pfft! Why do you think she'd say that?" Then observe the way he reacts. The most important thing is for you not to lose your own cool (as hard as it sounds).
The trouble is, sometimes when we're cornered with nowhere to go, we'll try that much harder to get out no matter how guilty we look. In other words, you might catch a guy in bed with someone but all the same, he'll still say something like, "it's not what you think"... I feel for you and hope only the best for you and your family.
talaniman
Dec 9, 2008, 10:12 AM
Mopar is right, get the fact straight before you upset yourself, or accuse anyone of anything.
roxypox
Dec 9, 2008, 11:34 AM
Mopar: great advice!
Proud_mom: sorry to hear about your situation! Like the others have said you should be sure about the facts of the matter before any confrontation is made. I hope the best for you!
proud_mommy
Dec 10, 2008, 12:02 AM
Everything is just so crazy right now.. our son was premature and he is home on oxygen and a montier.. nobody helps me take care of him. My other half works all the time.. I just don't know how to ask him about it without him getting mad at me
Moparbyfar
Dec 10, 2008, 03:41 AM
There's always going to be something that potentially stands in your way mentally. It's all about optimism. Sure he possibly will get mad. But did you find out if it was true first? What if he doesn't get mad? He could surprise the hell out of you by wanting to talk about it. Who knows? Only you know his personality and if you're afraid of him then all I can say is be sensible and keep your baby safe. Take care.
talaniman
Dec 10, 2008, 05:50 AM
Obviously, now is not the time to play detective, as your child needs your attention, and you need to relax and give your baby what he needs.
You haven't told us where this rumor started at though, so we can understand.
ZoeMarie
Dec 10, 2008, 05:58 AM
As tal said, make sure you care for your little boy, make him your top priority. I'm sure with you being a mother, that he is.
He might get mad, but even if he does, when you find out what's really happened, and you're ready to talk to him, don't let the fact that he might get mad deter you from talking to him because if he really was cheating it's something that should be discussed. You might want to get counseling before you get married if you haven't thought about that yet.
proud_mommy
Dec 10, 2008, 10:18 PM
The whole thing started by one of my friends telling me that he was doing all of this was going on while I was in the hospital because of my pregnancy.. I have known the friend for about 7 or 8 years now..
friend4u178
Dec 10, 2008, 10:59 PM
So sorry to hear your situation :(
However I feel it could be even more harmful by not bringing this up and you having to steam inside not knowing.
Just be honest with him and say something like , Honey I've heard something that is really disturbing me , I Love you so much and I feel I need to ask you so as not to keep it eating away at me.
You haven't done anything wrong and your just bringing it out in the open which WILL need to be done at some time.
talaniman
Dec 10, 2008, 11:32 PM
Cheating as in caught at a hotel, or having a drink with an ex? What I'm getting at is there is a difference, as one is nothing, and the other is everything. That's the whole basis of forming any question you have about his actions.