Log in

View Full Version : My boyfriend claims he doesn't love me but showed no signs


dancer12
Dec 8, 2008, 01:35 PM
My boyfriend of two years broke up with a week ago and I'm still confused as to why it happened.
In the beginning we were in an argument (very minor) and he said he thought he didn't make me happy anymore. Then he started to cry and whenever I asked him what was wrong he said "I don't know." Then finally I asked "Is this it then?" not really meaning it and he said yes. I was so shocked. It was so unexpected. We rarely fight and usually work things out.
The next day I went to see him because I thought I deserved an answer and he that's when he said that he felt like he didn't love me anymore. I was so confused because there were no warning signs. Even the nigh of the break I said I love and he replied.
My boyfriend and I have been through so many things together (I was really sick last year) and we even lived together last year. This year we decided that we would stay we our roommates instead because we both liked them a lot. (Neither of us cared for our roommates last year.) We were still seeing each other a lot (at least 3 times a week) and there was no indication that anything was wrong.
I just don't understand it.
Is it really that he doesn't love me or could there be something else and is there any way we could have worked this out?

chuff
Dec 8, 2008, 04:02 PM
Most guys do not cry when they are the ones who want to break up so it leads me to believe something else is going on but what I could not say. It doesn't sound like cheating because again if he was dumping you for someone else he'd be happy not crying.

I know it's easier for me to type this then it is for you to live it, but this is a decision he's made and it's his to live with. I know you deserve an answer, but it may be an answer you never get. As such, you have to accept that at this is HIS decision and while it affects you, it's not a decision that defines you, it defines him so leave the unknown with him.

For now what you must do is focus on yourself and keep away from him and no longer speak to him. Let him have his tears, you take your dignity and move forward.

talaniman
Dec 8, 2008, 09:16 PM
He may not know himself, so just accept that for whatever reason he wants to break up, so let him go his way, and you go yours.

Sometimes our feelings just change, and we don't know why.

pandora2
Dec 9, 2008, 03:16 AM
A lot of men usually don't show signs, whereas women usually talk about what is bothering them.

If he felt he was no making you happy anymore it could be the root of it all.

Whatever the reason you need to heal and move on. At this moment in time he does not want to be with you.

Work on creating a happy life for yourself

dancer12
Dec 11, 2008, 10:48 PM
Thanks a lot guys! It may not be the answer I was looking for but I think it's the truth. :)

liz28
Dec 11, 2008, 10:54 PM
Only he knows the truth, anyone else can only tell you what they think the problem might be. Besides him breaking up with you have you notice anything different about him before the break-up.

dancer12
Dec 11, 2008, 11:24 PM
No I didn't. That's why it was such a shock for me. He wasn't spending less time with me or talking less with me or doing anything different.