Ok I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. We started dating my late junior year of high school, and now I'm a freshmen in college.

The summer going into my senior year was the best time of my life. But then senior year came along and things started to get rocky. We'd get in a lot of small fights that would just build up over time and they were just aggravating. We'd have a lot of communication problems. For example a situation will arise where she thinks I'm pissed at her. Then she asks me if I am and I tell her I'm not ( I really am not). Then she'll keep thinking I'm pissed about it, then I actually WILL get pissed at her because she THINKS I'm pissed. Just a lot of stupid stuff like that. There was a time a I really thought I was going to break up with her around last thanksgiving but I battled through it. Things started to smooth out towards the end of the year.

Than the summer before college came. She is going to SIUC, which is actually 6 hours away from home. So we tried to spend as much time together as humanly possible and made a lot of good memories together. Things were pretty much good that whole summer, except for the occasional bumps in the road which always gets me thinking too much.

Seeing her go off to college was the hardest thing I've ever done. I only see her on average 2 or 3 days out of the month and I always miss her terribly. I worry about her a lot because SIU is a big party school. She'll call me drunk sometimes on a weekdays and I'll get mad at her for drinking on a Monday night. Granted she's only drank on a weekday occasionally, but that still makes me worried what that could lead to. I drink socially myself on weekends... but during the school week? Come on! I'm also worried she might get into drugs, cause I know she's done it in the past and we get in big fights about it sometimes. I try to make her promise not to get into drugs, but she says she can't make that promise but probably won't ever do any again. I'm not saying she's a big druggy, she's only smoked weed like 3 times in her life. It's just that I lost my best friend to drugs, and it's a very sensitive topic for me and I don't want to see anything happen to her. I can't imagine what would happen to me if I lossed her too :(. I feel that she doesn't even consider my feelings about it and its frustrating.

My point is, we don't see eye to eye on a lot of important issues to me. I'm always the one who starts the fights. I never do anything that bugs her. I was thinking maybe we could have a more open relationship, but every time I see her when I visit her at college I just have sucha great time with her and would never consider doing that. I lover her so much still but I feel something has to change. What do I do?

I appreciate if you actually took the time to read this. I really don't have anyone else to talk to and really need help.

Thanks,

Eric

It's hard to do anything when you never see someone. I don't see this lasting. If you guys were closer, I think that it would be different. I wish I could give you a better answer... but you can't change a relationship that you are not happy with when you are six hours away.

Its not that we are not close. We've been with each other for almost 2 years and have been friends for a couple years before we started dating. We are both each others best friends and love each other dearly.

I feel that if we got to see each other more often I could come up with a good solution. X-mas break is coming up and we have a whole month off. Perhaps I can come up with an answer then? What do you guys think?

I feel that if we got to see each other more often i could come up with a good solution.

That's exactly what I meant. It would be better if you were closer to each other to see each other more.

that's exactly what i meant. it would be better if you were closer to each other to see each other more.

Yeah I realized that's what you meant only after I posted my last comment... my bad lol. But thank you very much for your feedback I really do appreciate it!

You're very welcome... whatever you do don't get yourself so worked up that you are sick to your stomach. I can imagine the things that are going through your head with her being so far away.

Whatever you do... do what is best for your well being.

;)

Wow! Plenty of women including me would be thrilled to have a man love and care for her so much. You need to give her her space though. She's at a new place and I know your worried but if you worry about her and call her all the time she'll never have to worry about you. You need to keep her interested in you. I suggest you call twice a day max to check on her... once in the morning and once before bed... with a few little texts here and there. Ask her how she's feeling, if she's happy, and how she's doing in her classes and with her friends. Stay away from questions like are you cheating on me, do you love me still, do you miss me. Read between the lines of the stuff she says. On your visits during the month act completely happy with her and when its time to separate let her go with confidence a hug a kiss and a goodbye is enough. Don't give her all the power. You need to keep some control. This will eventually help you worry less and show your true feelings more. She needs to see that. She won't be able to turn that down.

Wow! Plenty of women including me would be thrilled to have a man love and care for her so much. You need to give her her space though. Shes at a new place and i know your worried but if you worry about her and call her all the time she'll never have to worry about you. U need to keep her interested in you. I suggest you call twice a day max to check on her... once in the morning and once before bed... with a few lil texts here and there. ask her how she's feeling, if she's happy, and how she's doing in her classes and with her friends. Stay away from questions like are you cheating on me, do you love me still, do you miss me. read between the lines of the stuff she says. On your visits during the month act completely happy with her and when its time to seperate let her go with confidence a hug a kiss and a goodbye is enough. Don't give her all the power. You need to keep some control. This will eventually help you worry less and show your true feelings more. she needs to see that. She wont be able to turn that down.

Oh I never even think about her cheating on me. We are very honest with each other and can talk to each other about anything. However your right, I could probably giver her more space. I do know I worry about her waaaay too much and its not good for my health. I'll try to keep what you said in mind.

Nobody is really dominant over the other in our relationship, maybe tipped in her favor a little bit. That's just because I'm an easy going guy and she's the type of girl who likes to take control.

I do have this question: if you have a significant other, do you guys agree on a lot of issues in your life that you deem important? Me and my girlfriend don't see eye to eye in some things important to me, and that makes me think if we are really right for each other.

What do you think?

I do have this question: if you have a significant other, do you guys agree on a lot of issues in your life that you deem important? Me and my girlfriend dont see eye to eye in some things important to me, and that makes me think if we are really right for each other.

What do you think?

My significant other and I agree on most of the important things in a relationship... marriage, children, faithfulness, religion, etc etc. but I can't say we agree on everything but we learn to tolerate the things we have different beliefs in. For example: I think we should move in together before marriage and he disagrees. We solved this problem by coming to an agreement that we'd move in together once we are engaged. You have to meet your significant other half way.

But if you don't agree on important stuff like marriage, children, faithfulness, and religion that's stuff you can't change. Your raised to feel a certain way about those things and no one can change that. If these are the things you 2 have arguments about maybe you need to go find yourself a better match.