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View Full Version : How do you decide who to spend the Holidays with?


michelley93
Dec 4, 2008, 05:00 PM
Okay well,this christmas I am suppose to spend with my dad(parents are divorced so I switch every year) but my best friend invited me to go with her and her dad out of town for the two week break (her b-day is on new years),and there is no way to get there after christmas because its such a long drive.
I really want to go with my best friend but its just weird not being with family on christmas,and so its tradition vs. something new that I want to do.
So who should I go with,and if I go with my friend,how do I tell my dad without hurting him?
I mean I see him all the time so its not like christmas is one of the only occasions I see him,but I mean christmas is kind of a big deal,right?:confused:

amathaa
Dec 4, 2008, 05:07 PM
I believe that if you already committed to spending Christmas with your dad, then you should stick with it. If you didn't committ to it, ask your dad and see things from his point of view. It could be very important to him that he gets to spend some valuable time with you. If he doesn't want you to go, then respect his decision and plan ahead next year so you're plans will follow through.

Doing something new can be fun, but remember that traditions are followed for so long because they are important to at least one person.

Best of Luck and Happy Holidays,

amathaa

Fr_Chuck
Dec 4, 2008, 05:07 PM
How old are you, have you discussed this with dad yet. Have you worked out perhaps getting to visit them at another time to make up for it.

JKH01
Dec 4, 2008, 05:08 PM
Maybe, tell your dad that you really enjoy spending christmas with him, and you hope that this isn't going to hurt his feelings, its just something new that you want to do. Ask him if it would be okay for you to go, and that puts the ball in his court to say 'yes, that's fine', or 'no, I would rather you stayed like it's always been'.

If he wants you there - I would stay. Christmas is a close time with family, friends etc. One day you might not have the chance to have another christmas with your father.

However if he says that's fine - then set up a day either when you get back or before you go - or both - that is your two's 'christmas' together. Spend the whole day together, and maybe do things you either have never done before, or that you haven't done in a long time. Do soemthing to show him you care, and have fun!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

tillykilly
Dec 7, 2008, 02:49 PM
I think if your father is not going to be alone then gently inform him of the plans and invite that is such an exiting thing to do, really big it up, but if he puts up so much resistance then I would tell him firmly that this opportunity may not come again, and that you will both plan for an extra special christmas together next year... be firm, and good luck:)

jjwoodhull
Dec 7, 2008, 03:04 PM
I think it depends on your father's situation. Would it have been just the two of you? No one should be alone on Christmas.

If you really want to go, then have an honest discussion about it with your father. Make the decision together.