This may sound petty and silly at first, but hear me out. We are renting a house and now live across the street from an elderly man and his wife. They are probably in their late 70's to mid-80's. While we were trying to move in, the man came over and engaged us in an extremely long conversation that took time out of our hectic move in schedule. That was fine at first because he just seemed like he was trying to be nice, but before he left, he "suggested" that we move our cars from the street into our driveway before it got too late, which we would have been able to do a lot sooner if we could have unloaded and moved the moving van. That night, he had a party and had cars lining the street on both sides. "Now I get it", I thought. Since then he and his wife come over whenever they see us outside and talk for a long time. The elderly wife offered to babysit my 18 month old daughter, which was a nice offer, but there is no way I would allow someone, this sounds mean, but that old that I barely know take care of my very active 18 month old.

Come fall, we had a lot of leaves falling and for the first week, we were not able to get to them because by the time we'd come home it would be too dark out. One afternoon while we were home on a break, he stopped me while I was loading up my daughter into the car and told me... he TOLD me, to tell my husband to rake up the leaves and leave them in the front, and that he would "take care of them". I explained to him that we just hadn't had the time, but that we would take care of them ourselves in the next day or so. The leaves in the front weren't even all that bad, it was the back (which they can't even see) that was pretty bad. Well the next day he came over with his leaf blower while my dad was watching my daughter and blew all of the leaves out of our front yard. Needless to say the leaf blower woke up my daughter from her nap. He never even knocked on the door to ask if he could... and there was a car in the drive, indicating that someone was home.

Well, yesterday we had a snow storm and today, again while my daughter was napping, he came over and used the snow blower in our driveway and walks/sidewalks. He again never bothered to ask, again my car was in the drive, and again he woke my daughter. I understand the need to be a good neighbor and to keep your yard clean, but give us at least a day! The other thing is that he has two dogs that they walk and they don't even pick up the "droppings" in the neighborhood... so much for the good neighbor thing. He also has the American flag flying all the time with no lights to illuminate it at night, which to my understanding is illegal.

I can't tell if he is just the type that gets annoyed looking at our yard, or if he is just trying to be nice. The thing is that we spent money purchasing tools and items in order to do our yard work ourselves and just because we don't get to it immediately, he takes it upon himself to trespass and do it "for" us. I know I sound ungrateful, and I'm really not, I just wish that he would let us take care of our house ourselves, especially since we are renting from the family that used to live there and would rather be responsible for any damage, etc. that we do instead of damage that me might cause the property. Our landlord said that he is just like that, but when is enough enough? How can we ask him graciously but firmly to allow us to handle our own yard work for my daughter's sake and considering we spent money purchasing the tools to do so? I don't want to upset them or anger them, but when do we get to speak up for ourselves while still respecting the elderly? Thanks for any advice!

Exactly that way - you have the equipment to do the work, you appreciate the help but would prefer to take care of it yourself, your only free time is the weekends and, by the way, when he runs outdoor equipment he wakes your daughter up from her nap.

And "please pick up after your dogs. I have a small child playing on the same lawn."

And they either take it in good grace or they don't. Maybe they are just lonely and an occasional offer to have a cup of coffee or something would brighten their day.

No one wants a neighborhood feud and they are hopefully just trying to be nice but I would address it with them. On the other hand, my neighbor suggested this summer that I occasionally mow my lawn (over an acre) on the diagonal every other cutting because it would "look better." I figure he has a lawn fixation so I ignore him - but he's not over at my house actually doing the mowing.

On the other hand, if you don't shovel the sidewalk within a certain time frame - at least in my area - you can be fined, so they could possibly be saving you some problems.

Update... I should have looked this up first, but it is NOT illegal to fly a flag at night without it being illuminated. It is simply against "flag code", but there are not penalties for disobeying the "flag code" as it is a voluntary thing. So it's pretty much just frowned upon, but not illegal. I just wanted to clarify that before I got an angry correction.

Was he close to the family that lived there before? Does he do it to other neighboors? Maybe he feels an attachment to the house?

I can definitely understand why you're upset. At the same time, try to look at it from his point of view. He's old, probably has nothing to do and enjoys doing yard work. To be honest he sounds like my dad. My dad's dream when he retires is to drive a snow plow and when he first got his "zero turn radius" mower- literally as soon as the guy took it off the trailer- he went cruising across the backyard. I'm sure he doesn't think "well how can I wake up our neighbor's child." He probably doesn't even know your child is asleep. It sounds to me like he means well but just doesn't think things through. And as Judy said he may be saving you from getting into trouble. What if someone had slipped on your sidewalk- like the mailman and got hurt?

This is a difficult situation to handle without hurting someone's feelings. I've been there done that.

With me it was a neighbor that assumed that because I had dogs that any dog poop he found on his yard was from my dogs. He'd actually pick it up and throw it onto our yard.

My dogs only toilet in our backyard which is fenced. I ended up sending a note when his poop tossing escalated to actually throwing it at our house. He was angry because he thought I wasn't picking up after my dogs. Understandable, but if he'd asked he'd have been told that it wasn't my dogs.

In the letter I advised him that my dogs do not poop on his yard, that the feces he found was from other pet owners and sadly they hadn't bothered to pick it up. I told him that I was bothered that he threw poop at my house without even talking to me about the situation.

He apologized and we never had a problem after that.

No exactly the same type of situation, but, as long as you remain silent your neighbor is assuming that you don't mind what he's doing. You have to speak up, like Judy said.

Maybe a nice letter thanking him for what he's done but informing him that you and your husband prefer to do it yourselves. Perhaps state that you are excited about having your own home in which you can take care of the property surrounding it and that you've even gone and purchased tools for that purpose. Let him know that his effort is appreciated but is also disturbing your daughter at times and that you have a schedule that you'd like to keep. Also inform him that you rent the house and therefore the lawn upkeep is your responsibility and you'd prefer to do it yourself in case any damage occurs.

Try to keep it light and friendly, hopefully it will work.

Good luck.