Here is my situation. I wrote a forum on here a while back in October about my boyfriend and my best friend. Basically my boyfriend was saying that my best friend was bad news and that She shouldn't live with us and I should kick her out. Well after all that drama me and my boyfriend decided to give her a chance to get a job and be responsible and pay rent with us and everything.


Well she got a job and a low paying one with bad hours. But anything would do so I was very happy she was pulling through. Well its me my sister and her baby and my boyfriend and sarah we all had an agreement to pay 235 a month on rent and houshold needs. Everything was working out perfectly.

My best friend got her first paycheck it was 80 dollars we told her she can keep it since it was her first check and she didn't get paid that much. The next time she got paid rent was late and she only gave me 50 dollars. She claimed they didn't give her a lot of hours.
So I told her that she needs to ask for more or take hours from a co worker. She told me that nobody would do that so I said OK well your going to have to save up all your money and pay rent first then you can spend it. Se said OK.

WELL the next time she got paid she got another 50 dollar check or so she so called said she did. I asked her if she wanted me to save it for her for when rent was due so she didn't have to soend it on crap. She insisted no and that she would pay me. I said OK that is fine. WELL she ended up spending that check on alcohol and new boots without my knowledge and lied to my sister and said I knew she spent it when I didn't and I was in the hospital for a few days so I had no idea what was going on.

So I come home and rent was due in a couple days my sister and my boyfriend already paid me the money So I asked Sarah and she told me that she had spent it on that. I was very angry with her and we argued a little bit but she reassured me that her next check would be like 100 bucks so I was like OK just pay me that when you get paid and It will be OK but you still owe me the rest of the money.

She said OK and went to her dads for thanks giving. SHe called me on Friday and told me that her check was only 60 bucks she then said she was going to give that to me on Sunday and once again I was angry with her because she had lied to me but I reasured her she had to pay me the money back! She said OK. So Sunday comes around I Hear nothing from Sarah. I get no phone call , no messege , I get nothing.

I also sure wasn't about to call her because I am not her father and it is not my job to be responsible for her actions so I was simply testing her to see if she was going to be responsible or not. WELL today is Wedsday and I still have gotten no reply from Sarah what so ever. Well I was takign a nap because I was tired and while I was sleeping my sister told me that Sarah came in the house and got all her and my sister asked her what she was doing and she replied saying that she was going to do her laundry and she would be back on Saturday.

So hannah asked her if she was moving out and while sarah was loading up her bedroom mirror she told hannah my sister that she was not sure what she was doing yet. Then she left and my sister woke me up and told me. I am soooo pissed off at her I feel as if she had stabbed me in my back. My boyfriend was right all along I should have kicked her out when he told me to. I am just not sure if I should conintue my friendship with someone so irresponsible and that has no respect. I was helping her out this whole time and she just stabbed me in my back. What should I do? Should I continue my friendship with her and just not financially trust her... or should I just brush her off my shoulder?

I think for the time being you should give the relationship a break, she is being very selfish and she has damaged your friendship.

I would let her do her own thing. Learn from this experience and work on staying on top of the bills with the three of you.

I agree I am just sooo angry at her I feel so betrayed. She has been my best friend for 7 years. I would never expect her to flake out on me like this I feel as if I have been mis judging her this whole time! I am always helping her out and doing nice things for her for her b-day I bought her an 80 dollar tattoo. And on my b-day she forgot it. The thing is though I have fought with my boyfriend for her to live with us and he knew it was a bad idea but I reassured him Sarah wasn't like that and now I have no Idea how she is! It makes me wonder what else has she used me for since she can't even man up and give me a phone call. And I am always helping her out.

This seems like a one sided friendship.
I would certainly tell her how you feel and then distance yourself from her until she makes good on what she owes you.
I am sure along with your anger you are hurt by her selfishness.
She needs to know that doing this to people is unacceptable and you will not accept it.
If you just up and forgive her without any consequences on her part she will do it again and again.Maybe not to you but to others.
Like the old saying goes*with friends like her you don't need enemies*
Best of luck!

I agree but how do I know she won't do this to me again

There are no guarantees in friendship or in love and I would say the best indicator of what a person is going to do is to look at what they have done in the past.
Best of luck!

Wow, Kitten I remember your other thread and I gave you advice on it as well.

You never know someone until you live with them and sometimes having a friend as an roommate can kill a friendship. It seems like this friend had no intentions on paying you and she basically used you and only caused problems between you and your boyfriend but I glad your worked it out.

I had a friend simliar to yours and I must say were no longer friends. When she lived with me I saw a side of her I never seen and it wasn't pretty.

The saying goes "you live and you learn" so if anything you learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes you can't help nor trust no one even if it is your friend. Even when you two start back talking the friendship will never be the same but at least you saw her true colors.

I am just so happy that I could actually get to see the real side of her and I thnk god I went with my gut feelings before and didn't choose her over my boyfriend whoom might I add love more than anything in the world and our relationship is amazing its like we are connected at the hip lol

I know it will be a long time before I can trust her again and probably a long time before I even talk to her as well. Its amazing how the one person whoom you thinku are so close to and have been there thruough thick and thin can betray you and be so irresponsible and disrespecful towards u.

It is a very difficult thing but there are a lot of friendships ruined by living together. Whether it be lifestyles or financial accountability most people are not on the same page. My grandmother once told me... "Don't live with someone you don't love" and I still don't believe that is enough. I lost a best friend also by living with them. Time will mend this loss and someday along the line you may find that you will be friends again. You just weren't meant to live with this person.

Good luck.

i agree but how do i kno she wont do this to me again

You found out who the real her was , so don't let her use you again.

Consider it one of lifes little lessons :)

I already have thanks friend lol

kitten420

Now I know you're smart and all
But something went wrong here, I suppose we all make mistakes, so be it.

But guess what?

You're wrong, and so is that reply
Friends and money don't mix (obviously)
And therefore you cannot base your friendship on any money issues (seemingly right or wrong)

Are you saying that if she won a million dollars, (and gave you half) that then she'll be your friend again? Now that would be sad :(

So unless you have some other reason (more than likely)
Then she is still your friend.
Maybe apologize to her lol But I do mean it

The money issue did not break any trust
It just caused you both to stop talking
I'd say call her right now, and say hey, I just woke up. Sorry :o

It has nothing to do with money. It's the fact that she said she was going to do something but insead of following her plan she lied to me and totally betrayed my trust. She was someone I thought I could rely on and trust and she was supposed to be my best friend for 7 years and just like everyone else in my household she had rules to follow and after giving her a million chances she still decided to screw me over. Yea what a freidn she is for not pulling through on her word and in the end I get no phone call what's so ever on what's going on with her. I am Sarahs best friend I am not her mom and I am not her dad I am not going to take care of her. If I was to take care of anyone it would be myself! Not to mention I got laid off on my job and I haven't been to work in two weeks and she has been working and she decideds she wants to buy boots and alcohol with her rent money. And its funny because I got my rent paid and I am laid off from my job and I can still handle my money!

Ah huh hmm

Well I've read it twice ;)

Now, please get your friend back, if there's still time

Go !

And I'm signing off I'll check out how you went in about 5 Hrs

P.S. Go and ring her. Or go there and make up!

Go Go Go

That I'm not being friends with her and I don't have to apologize I am just not talking to her for a long time until she apologizes to me! I did nothing wrong and honestly she is lucky I don't throw all her stuff out my door!! What she did was wrong and very irresponsible. ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? Like honestly if you think that what she did was OK after I already gave her plenty of chances then you have some issues! But you know what I am not going to be mad at you because that is your opinion and this website is all about opinions. So I will take in your advice and in the end I will use my knowledge and know what's best for ME.

Yeah.. I don't think what your friend did was right... trust is important in a friendship as well as a relationship... if someone can't keep their word, then what kind of person are they? I don't think you need friends like that... Sorry to say it and I know it sux after a 7 year friendship, but its time to let go...

I agree kitten... SHE needs to apologise to You!!

I came back early!

Thanks for your respect in others point of view
Unless you are not saying something, I really don't understand the issue here

You should call her, in my honest opinion
But not to attack.
Hopefully she apologizes to keep (or get back) the relationship

What else has happened..

Well I don't want to attack her. I just need to cool down before I talk to her because if I talk to her now it will NOT be pretty. Well the issue that lies within the problem is weither or not I should even consider giving her another chance to even gain my trust again. And I was wondering the view and opinions of others in this situation and what they would do. And for as what has happened not only has she caused me and my boyfriend to fight and argue numerous times and you would know this if you read my other post from October. But she also has betrayed my trust and kind of ruined my view on my relationship and I honestly don't even know if she takes me seriously or not. She makes me feel like since I gave her so many chances that I would let her get away scotch free like I was kidding or something when I said she had to pay rent. And honestly I feel used. This isn't the first time this has happened. I used to buy her stuff all the time and she has said she would pay me back but never has. And with my boyfriend she went around spreading lies to my sister saying that my boyfriend was talking crap about her when he wasn't and this caused a big argument between everyone and it gotten so close to the point he was going to break up with me over the drama sarah was brigning in our home.

Thanks for the extra info

By the way, what does your (ex) girl friend, think of your current boyfriend?
Especially seeming he blamed her for arguments between the both of you!

I wonder if your boyfriend wasn't there, that you would still be with your actual long term friend still.

These money matters will definitely be forgotten
But that friendship will never be forgotten

I'm sorry that you (especially) and others don't see the real picture here
There's no betrayal of your boyfriend to see your old friend of many years

I'm pretty sure you'll make up, and hopefully you're brave enough to post this (ie today; or tomorrow)
You really shouldn't leave it too long before contacting her

I'm sorry that this mis-trust of finance (only) has caused this big issue
Your friend would definitely come back to you, if you gave her a chance to
Good luck if you are ever down and out, and promise to pay, but then spend your money on what you think is OK. You wouldn't do that? No because you can't see this at the moment. Anyone could have been in her position, with a friend's boyfriend at her , and you all the time.

I'm babbling. I can't force you to see
Open an old photo album. Then you'll know.

The point is thought that it wouldn't have even been a big issue if she would have at least called me and said hey I'm sorry but I don't think I am going to pay rent this month or any month and I am just going to move out. Then that would have been fine. I know me and sarah will make up come on she is my best friend but seriously what she did was back stabbing and very irresponsible. If she was being a friend and being responsible she would have called me instead of hiding at her dads and ignoring the issue. Sarah knows she was in the wrong and that is why she didn't call me at all!! One day yes I will forgive her but for now I have decided that I am going to go my own road and she can go hers for now and when she decides she wants to be a grown woman and call me and apologize and relize what she did was wrong then we can talk. But until then when she comes back to get the rest of her imma tell to not let the door hit her on the way out!

Still mad by chance?

She's too embarrassed to call you, because she thinks you hate her (and your boyfriend hates her) Geez she's put you in the red and all.

She can't call you, and she'll probably come with friends to get any further belongings left behind.

By the way, if you just call her up. Well preferred to go to her actually.
Everything will be fine.
I'm sorry that she and the one you love (your partner) had a falling. And he wouldn't want to see her again anyway, geez I wouldn't. I might even let you know!


But you and her, that's a different story. Don't leave it too long to get your friend back

Sarah knows me well enough to know that she needsto explain herself to me and aplogize. And you know what she should be emberassed and she should feel very shameful! I am done with this thread I have nothing more to say. Thank you for your advice I took it to heart but I know what is best for me and honestly that's all that matters.

Thread pending reply... :)

I'm going offline too.

By going back to this friendship she is making herself a doormat.

Her friend needs to apologize for being so irresponsible and for taking advantage of your friendship.

You owe your friend nothing at this point in time, she abandoned her obligation and used your friendship. Time will heal this wound but I agree it is not your responsibility to seek out her friendship at this time.

Incredible

My only hope, is that all the negative replies are coming from younger people
Anyway, when the friendship all comes back together, make sure to post and tell.
It would be sad not to tell all these people that friends are actually worth it

Hey I'll go apologize. Hang on I've got a better idea.

I'm Sorry

Yep at 30... just so feable minded. Why would you expect that she be the one putting in the effort to mend this friendship right now?

I can understand it will heal, but she doesn't need to make the first step and she doesn't need to do anything at this time but cool off. She shouldn't apologize for being used by her roommate. Her friend has a lot to apologize for, but her friend is young and might not realize the situation she has caused.

I don't agree that it is kitten420's responsibility to right the wrong here, not at this time, but that is not to say that they won't repair the friendship and learn from living together.

Kitten, your doing the right thing, and have no need to apologize to any one. You have done more than a friend should, and was not given the same respect.

Friendship is a two way street, and you should not have to kiss your friends butt, nor allow selfish, disrespectful behavior, toward you.

That's not a friend, but a leech to be avoided, no matter how long, or how close you had been.

Obviously something changed with her, so leave her be.