View Full Version : I think my dad is going to leave my mom
Bryanna2022
Dec 2, 2008, 08:12 PM
Ok I'm 16 and my mom and dad will/(might) be together 17 years in march! They have had some fights and I've just ignored them and walked across tha street to my grandmas! Its my get away place lol! Some of the fights I think about but not a lot of them! Recently they have gotten worse and its all about money! My mom went to school for like ever to be a radiologist technician and she got a job that paid good money, well soon after that my aunt jennifer died at the same age as my mother was (37), they were soooo close, they were practically sisters! She died of breast cancer! It devistated my mama! Well because of that she ended up losing her job! That made everything worse! It was like her whole life was crashing down on her and I couldn't do anything but stand there and watch! I'm a strong person I take after my dad! I hate to cry in front of people and I hate to let someone down! I have always been there for my mama we always could talk about anything! And after losing jennifer I feel like I've lost that! I mean I know that I can still go to her and talk but it just don't feel tha same! I love her to death and I don't won't to talk bad about her but she doesn't really know how to handle money and it kills me saying that! But I've came here for help so I have to be honest! My dad is a strong person and I look up to him! I try so hard to impress him! He has a job where he is always on the road during race season and I don't really get to see him much anymore! I remember there was this one fight that he actually left the house and went to his fathers house out in the country (his father died a couple years ago)! The way he left made me lose so much respect for him! He took us to my papas mamas house to go swimming and he left to go home! Well soon I found out that when he got home he packed his bags and left! So that pissed me off a lot! Well he came back the next day with his bag in his hand and said it was too quiet out in the country! But I don't know why he actually came back he never said! Well this time its about money again and I talked to mama and she said that they were fighting about money again! No surprise there! Well I forgot to mention that I just totaled my new 2006 mustang that they got for me for my 16th b-day! I went across a icy bridge and didn't know it and hit my brakes cause there was another truck pulled over and I side swiped another! So yea I totaled it! Well tha insurance is going to pay for that and they told me they would get me another car so I could drive to school again! Well found out today that daddy might be buying him a truck! So I imadently thought that he is deff about to leave us! I really don't know what to do anymore! ANY HELP WILL BE GREATLY CONSIDERED!!
Love ,
Bryanna
450donn
Dec 2, 2008, 08:35 PM
Sadly, divorce is on the rise. There is nothing you can do to prevent it, so don't beat yourself up about that. It sounds like your mother needs to see a grief counselor to help her deal with the loss. Your parents needs tome couples counseling to help them deal with their lives. Buying things is not the answer. It only makes matters worse. I would suggest that you sell that car, give the money back to your parents and go to work to earn the money to buy your own car. My oldest came home from school one day and announced that we were going to buy her a car as all her friends parents were doing it. When we finished laughing at her we explained that she could use our car to get to work and that when she had enough money saved that I would help her buy and maintain one. During that time she helped me replace the motor in our VW, helped me sand to paint it and helped me with all of the maintaince. Today she is in her final 6 months of a masters degree program that she has totally paid for on her own.
jjwoodhull
Dec 2, 2008, 08:38 PM
Hi Bryanna... Life is hard. You're mother is devastated by her sister's death, money is tight, couples fight. You can not do anything to keep your parents together. If your father is going to leave, you can't stop him. BUT HE IS NOT LEAVING YOU, he is leaving your mother. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
Be kind to your mother while she deals with your aunt's death. Help her around the house. Try to spend time with her doing things that she enjoys.
Talk to your father. Tell him you are worried about him leaving. Ask him if he plans to. Ask him what things will be like between the two of you if he does. Maybe he doesn't plan to leave and it is just something in your head. Maybe he does plan to leave - if so, he owes you an explanation.
Be thankful that you have your Grandmother to turn to. Talk to her about your concerns - she will be more insightful because she knows the people involved.
DO NOT DRIVE A MUSTANG IN BAD WEATHER! Mustangs (and most sports cars) have rear wheel drive making them very dangerous in rain, snow and ice. If you get a new car, get a safer car.
Good luck with everything. Keep us posted on how you're doing.
Bryanna2022
Dec 2, 2008, 08:56 PM
Thank yo so much! I feel a lot better! I know I felt reallllllly bad for wrecking that car! I knew that they were going to get me a car some day but NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS would I have thought that they would get me a new mustang I was so thankful! And I really won't to get a job but I can't really leave my brother at home by hiself! I try 2 go to my papas restaurant to make some money when I get a chance to! And my mom said that she really wonts her and daddy to get help about their marriage! I hope this all works out! I love my parents so much! And I'm glad you talked with your daughter about her buying herself a car and I'm glad that she has achieved her goals! I have set myself some life goals also! I plan to go to tech school to be a vet tech and eventually own my own clinic for abused and unwonted animals! I try to keep myself busy so I don't get wraped up in this money deal with my parents! I'm trying to give my mama the tip money I got from work I made lik 194 and I've only used some of it! I let her borrow like 30 and I prob won't accept it if she tries 2 give it back! She already has and I'm like OK ill get it from you in a second lol! I love them to death and won't to help out as much as possible!