Just wondering what keeps a man attracted to a woman? Is it kindness,personality,looks,what is it? What turns a man off from a woman?? (theres being a great cook,easygoing,etc)what keeps that man to that woman?

I think that it's the promise of sex. Kindness, personality and looks can either contribute or detract from that promise.

You might want to ask the question the other way around. What makes you attracted to a man?
I don't think that there is a golden answer to your questions since people are all different. I think that Cosmopolitan magazine has tried to define the Top 10 ways to attract a man a dozen times.

You are asking what keeps a man... you should never have to "keep" him. Healthy relationships don't involve "keeping" because is sounds like he is trying to leave the relationship and you are trying to keep him entertained and convincing him to stay. If that is the case, you need a different relationship.

Now if you are asking, how to keep the relationship healthy, challenged and exciting. Change things up, surprise him, do something he normally wouldn't expect you to do... i.e. fishing or going to a sporting event. Show up in something sexy.

Just don't try to be someone you are not, he feel in love with you for a reason. Remember what you were doing when you meet, that might give you some insight.

Just wondering what keeps a man attracted to a woman?? Is it kindness,personality,looks,what is it??

Men, just like women, are attractive to females for different reason so only that person can answer why he or she finds their mate attrative. I like a guy with nice eyes, a tall build, someone a good sense of humor, open-minded, positive, among other things attractive. Looks plays it part but beauty is in the hold of the beholder and I love inner beauty too.

QUOTE=packer04;1402420
What turns a man off from a woman??? (theres being a great cook,easygoing,etc)

I know I can't be someone who is jealous or have major mental problems.

QUOTE=packer04;1402420
what keeps that man to that woman??

There are no guarantees in life so you can do anything right and your partner might still leave. However I find honesty, communication, trust, and a good sex life good to keep me and my fiancé together. I know he has my back and I have his. We have our share of agruements but we work through them.

The things that attract and the things that keep the attraction going are often the same things. Unfortunately, people change over time and that's not always perceived as a good thing.

Also, the behaviors that are attractive when first going out are often accidentally "false". I mean we put up a good show trying to get someone interested in us. We are on our best behavior, and some people are on behavior that isn't them at all.

I call that the honeymoon period. If you are attracted to a woman because she compliments you, admires you, acts interested in the things you like, laughs at your jokes, etc... and a year later she's doing none of those things, what can a heart conclude?

This is why you don't make commitment decisions in less than 6-12 months (honeymooning can go on a loooong time for some people). Need to make sure those behaviors you like so much are real.

And later, don't stop studying your new partner. You should be a fan of and student of this person who has committed themselves to you. And you study them NOT to find stuff you need to change, you study them to find the things you can admire them openly about.

A man becomes attracted to a woman for the same reasons that a woman becomes attracted to a man: when someone's emotional needs are satisfied by the sex that they are attracted to, they feel attraction.

I agree with JB that in most cases, the beginnings of a relationship are never really representative of the entire relationship. This is partly because of what JB said about how people don't act as they normally do and false represent themselves. On the other side of the coin, is when people build up a false image of the person they're dating and aren't really seeing them for who they, but who they want them to be.

This is a topic we would discuss for hours and still not have discussed all the important points. It takes years of study and exploration to fully get into all the relevant information. The short answer is it comes down to emotional needs. A woman who satisfies a man's emotional needs will create a level of trust that will make a man want to be with her for life. A man who satisfies the emotional needs of a woman, will create a level of love in her that will make her want to be with him forever.

So a guy must have feelings for you. If your everything a guy wants, but he doesn't have that spark, it won't work. I agree with the emotional needs of both. But what of feelings, do they come in time, or are they there right away? With a man or a woman.

If a guy really loves you, he won't need to have sex with you.

If a guy really loves you, he won't need to have sex with you.

That's is an oversimplification that is completely unsupportable. No way you can make a blanket statement like that.

That will be true for well-adjusted, values-oriented men who are attracted to a woman. Most men are NOT well-adjusted, values-oriented men, at least not initially. It takes years for most to reach that level, decades for others, and some simply never get there.

That's why the issue of "feelings" is a complete non-starter for me when the issue turns to the topic "how to make a relationship work". Feelings are fine to get the ball rolling, and they help at the end to keep things warm and fuzzy. But the 100 steps in-between are almost all about compatibility, honesty, sacrifice and maturity, not about feelings.

Depends how old you are. Middle school is looksand personality. Adult is both for those, sex, and your talents

Then I guess you don't have to have feelings at all. I dated this man for 5 months(we had everything in common,cpmpatible,we were what each was looking for in a partner)but then he says he just didn't have that feeling for me that your suppose to have. So what does that say for the guy-just lying to end it all or was he truthful? Sort of confused by what he was telling me with "that I was everything he wanted-but no feelings for me".

Unfortunately humnas are not that simple. For one man it may be your personality for the other it may be your looks and for thte other it may be the sex. The idea is to not worry about men may be attracted to. Worry about discovering your most attrctive quality and flaunt it.

For me my most attractive qualities are my wiitiness and butt. So I wear tight pants and crack jokes all the time. Eventually someone came along.

Then I guess you don't have to have feelings at all. I dated this man for 5 months(we had everything in common,cpmpatible,we were what each was looking for in a partner)but then he says he just didn't have that feeling for me that your suppose to have. So waht does that say for the guy-just lying to end it all or was he truthful? Sort of confused by what he was telling me with "that I was everything he wanted-but no feelings for me".

Hi packer I had the same thing happen to me... everything was fine them he said he hit a wall and his feelings were not growing for me? How did you deal with it?

Hi Lanigirl. I have had a hard time dealing with it. He just stopped seeing and calling me. Starte dating someone else, and didn't tell me till I ask. That hurt a lot. And said I was everything he wanted in a woman, but didn't have feelings for me. That sure hit me hard. I have been crying everyday and trying to move on. But it seems I want him back so bad and he just wants to be friends.

I'm sorry for your loss, but you're telling us (and yourself) that you desperately crave to have back a man who just likes you. You need to remind yourself that your heart doesn't have your best interest at "heart", it just wants what it wants and couldn't care less what it does to your life.

You have to be smarter and more determined than your heart. It's fine for romance, it's not fine for life choices.

So, stop giving yourself permission to wallow over wishes. You wish he liked you more. Ok. But he doesn't. But he DOES like you. You are making it into something worse than what it really is.

What it REALLY is is an honest man who has refused to waste your time and allow you to be hurt with his falseness and leading you on. Do you know how special that is? So many men would just lead you on and "get what they can as long as they can" from you. And in the end, you would STILL not end up with those guys.

This guy ALREADY is a great friend to you. You should appreciate that and not let your heart trick you into thinking this is bad in any way.

Your future always did and STILL involves a permanent, intimate relationship with someone other than this guy. That is a truth. It's a perfectly OK truth, too.

Enjoy your new friend. Keep your eyes forward. Anything else is a waste of your precious energies.

You say that he was honest and didn't lead me on. Said that he wanted a relationship, wanted to get married. Well he did give me mixed signals for 5 months, by telling me I was the woman he always wanted, I was it for him. So I got my hopes up with him. I feel if he didn't have feelings for me and I wasn't it, he should have known sooner. Then while he was dating me, he found another. Then he just stopped calling and seeing me. So I had to call him to find out what was up. I felt he just wouldn't have said anything. I felt like he ditched me and he was always honest and a nice guy. You don't hurt people like that especially if you are friends. And sure he wants to be friends, but I find out his idea of friendship is just to call once in awhile. I thought friendship was seeing and calling once in awhile. I am a true friend. But it seems like he really isn't into the friendship thing.
What is your idea of a great friend? It still hurts a lot and that I can't help as I have feelings for him. He will always be my friend no matter what with us.

Often we confuse hurt for love. The pangs you feel in your heart are not love but hurt. I have been going through it myself lately.