This is a post by a young woman and I would like any input added to my posts on this subject.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregnancy-new-motherhood/tanf-how-do-apply-welfare-285769.html#post1397642

I agree that unfortunately many women do not think anything about smoking, drinking and getting high while they are pregnant. It does not get any better once the baby is born. They smoke, drink and get high around their kids as though it is nothing. They sell their food stamps half price for drugs and then cry for the neighbors to feed their kids 'because they have no money and no food'. They have three, four or five kids to four or five different daddy's. They put father unknown on the birth certificate so that they don't have to go after them for child support. Then the ones that actually do name the father on the birth certificate don't get any child support anyway cause the fathers most often are homeless living off one girl after another for a place to stay. The mom's bring these guys home like a revolving door and tell their kids 'This is your new daddy'. The kids have more daddys in one year than they get new shoes within a year.

I was a mother of four and I can honestly tell you I had no choice but to be on welfare once my ex left. I have lived most of my past 20 years in 'welfare mentality' neighborhoods. I have seen it all and most of the mothers really do not cherish their kids but treat them like a useless piece of property. I have seen them scream at their kids calling them every name beyond cuss words often for no reason.
They nickname them the spawn of satan, etc... ]
They call them names like d!(#-w**d, c#&T F@c*
I have seen many of them cuss their two (2) year olds out telling them they need to go to the fridge and get them a beer
(because they are too lazy to get off their own fat butts.

Thank you for responding,maybe others will see this and chime in as well.

Sadly, I know far worse at the moment and she is breaking everyone's heart. She has been recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, yet we're thinking it's more likely she is bipolar. This girl is 18 and around 9 weeks pregnant. She met the father of the baby who is 17 in a private psychiatric hospital. He is bisexual and was there to be with his boyfriend when she conceived. So the first fear was whether there was a risk of AIDS. Apparently that's been cleared.

She wanted to keep her baby... her parents supported her decision. I guess we all believed she must have wanted to live and would start to turn around to take care of her baby. Not so. She has self harmed at least half a dozen times since she found she was pregnant. This is in spite of having been helped buy a brand new car earlier in the year that payments have been taken over by her father for her. He has also been looking at purchasing a house in the state his ex lives so she could be near her mother and afford a reasonable rent - plus have a place to live, since most people would not accept her circumstances.

She has two very decent parents who have shown her enormous love and care and have made every possible opportunity open to her... you would think this was enough.

As unkind as it sounds, we've come to the difficult conclusion that whenever she feels the attention she wants is taken away from her, she creates a drama. While the private psychiatric hospital she's become accustomed to which is like a 5 star hotel, seems to be her refuge for hanging out with her friends.

I can't let this girl anywhere near my 12 year old daughter.

Her father is my partner and I really do feel for him. He would like a decent night's sleep... for one thing. He deserves so much more though.