I have been with a girl for about 3 years. We met 5 year ago in 8th grade, and have been dating since 10th. Now we are freshmen in college, she's in Spain, Im in Texas. We have always had a really rough relationship. I have so many mixed feelings and I wanted some second opinions. When Im with her I get so annoyed that I don't see my friends and think about other girls and I do things she doesn't like behind her back, but when we break up I miss her so badly. I know I love her so much, but sometimes I wonder if Im in love with her or maybe its just a fear of being alone or just what Im comfortable to. We've always broken up and gotten back together for various reasons, mostly my fault, although she is very jealous, possesive, and needy. Ive heard that the strongest relationships are made when one person needs the other and the other takes care of the other person, and I feel like that is us. She has been in Spain since August and miserable, because she isn't with me and almost broke up, until I flew to spain one weekend to talk out of it. When she's with me everything is perfect. We could have gone to school together, but I just delayed it senior year until it was too late for her; I though that I needed to be on my own. Now she's gone to a pschologist and started taking anxiety medecine, which I think is the reason she broke up with me again. I feel like I will never find anyone as good again, I know I will love again, but I grew up with this girl and we know things about each other that not even our parents know, were so close. I feel like I will still regret not trying now if I give up 10 years from now. But I also think maybe Im just limited myself and not reaching my potential. I see all my friends around and Im not jealous, I just want one girl. I don't know if I should just give up and move on, try to be with her still, which will be hard, because her parents hate me. She's coming back in 3 weeks, and I could try to find her. I just don't know what to do. Any ideas on how to get her back, or how to get over her, any opinions at all would be appreciated.
Thanks.

Well I think you said it perfectly my friend... You are in this for the comfort and fear of being on your own. And I don't know where you heard the strongest relationships are the ones where one needs the other and one takes care of the other. That's dependence and I can tell you right now that that's never healthy.

You have admitted that your relationship has always been rough, and that you think about the good times you are missing with your friends and what it would be like with other girls. You know as well as I do that that kind of thinking doesn't belong in a healthy loving relationship.

Now I understand that you care a great deal for this girl, and why wouldn't you. You have known each other for a long time and have been together through a time where you have experienced a lot of things for the first time and learned a lot about yourself while growing together. But don't mistake loving someone for being in love with them.

I think it is best that you two take a break from this relationship. There are too many problems plaguing you guys right now and to make matters worse you are not even living on the same continent. It just too much for an already unhealthy relationship to bare. Maybe one day when you guys have matured a little bit and experienced some life on your own will you reconnect... you never know. But for now move on alone, its really for the best.

And as for being scared that you will never find another like her, don't worry, that's a common fear we have all shared while going through a break up. But you will, I promise, and it will be with someone who you don't regret spending time with and won't think of other girls while being with...

In time you will feel differently, so be patient, and go about your own life, enjoying people, and activities that all young people do, and it will get better.

We have all been there, so just leave her alone, to find her own happiness, without you.