I am depressed. Just flat out, drop dead depressed (however I've never had the thoughts of hurting, let alone killing myself). I was put into counseling, and after a few painful weeks of nothing getting done, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and given a substantial dose of Zoloft (seratonin/SSRI). However, during my sessions with my shrink, I realized that I am depressed over nothing in particular. Sure my life has been filled with... bad... things, divorce, problems at school (nothing bad on my part), fights with siblings...

I'm just confused now, I guess.

I don't want to brag or anything, but I score high on an IQ test. I've always been at the top of my class, and succeeded at most everything I've done. You'd think that I'd be on top of the world, but I'm not. Each failure, I think, comes at me like a crushing catastrophe. Why am I so obsessive over perfection? Why am I severely depressed when others can take similar things in stride? I know that different people see and do things in different ways, but still...

Being afraid of failure is a symptom of clinical depression. Many many people have that same fear, with or without the disorder. It's something that can't necessarily be helped initially but you can react to it in different ways.

You're doing the right thing by taking the medication (to balance out the serotonin levels) and talking to the counselor (to help with any environmental depressants). Keep at it!

I have gone through exactly what your going through. Its not easy and i know exactly how you feel and dont say that i dont. alot of people do. at least people who have gone through it. You have to think deeply about your self. And sit down and ask your self. Why am i feeling this way? i have learned over the past year that you are what you think. if your mind is constantly on that negativity then that is how your going to play out to be. But if u slightly turn yourself and think about positive things that thats what youll be. Youll be positive. Its just a mental illusion. your depressed. About what? Absolutely nothing. Meds do help but i wouldnt bother takeing them. i mean you should If you really feel extremely bad. but honestly just turn your mind around slightly. you can change your self in so many different ways if you want to. Just put your mind in that position. thats what actors do before they do movie roles. And then youll start adapting to being a positive person. its going to take time. but you can do it. Dont let other people tell you your depressed and down and ill etc etc etc. you decide what and who you are. And you can accomplish it. Good luck. and remember "YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK"

I appreciate your help, guys... really I do...
But I'm afraid that the Zoloft isn't really doing anything for me, and in fact I'm starting to get worse. I no longer am able to do anything that I should be able to... my grades are slipping, I can't concentrate, going out with friends is all of a sudden a drag. And for the first time, I'm starting to get crying spells. I know what's wrong, and I've told my shrink, and my prescription has been upped, but still, I'm horribly depressed and out of it. Why is it that I'm like this? What should I do about it? My day to day ability to function is shutting down... should I seek more help?

I appreciate your help, guys... really I do...
But I'm afraid that the Zoloft isn't really doing anything for me, and in fact I'm starting to get worse. I no longer am able to do anything that I should be able to... my grades are slipping, I can't concentrate, going out with friends is all of a sudden a drag. And for the first time, I'm starting to get crying spells. I know what's wrong, and I've told my shrink, and my prescription has been upped, but still, I'm horribly depressed and out of it. Why is it that I'm like this? What should I do about it? My day to day ability to function is shutting down... should I seek more help?

The medications take a few weeks to become therapeutic.

How long have you been taking them?

I was on Zoloft for 5-6 years,I remember what it was like and might be able to assist you in this transition period.

For me, the meds made my dreams extremely vivid,I could pick out individual hairs on the other person in a dream,that's clarity for you.:)

Sometimes the upping of the meds makes it seem like nothing has happened,it will,it just takes time.

The crying spells are your emotions coming out,finally able to be released.Don't fight them,they are yours.

I found concentrating on things I CAN do,instead of the things I cannot do helped me through the tough times.

A distraction of any sort helps too.

Are you 'obsessing' over something,you know,one thing in particular?

Sometimes this happens,it is part of adjustment to the effects of the meds.

I'll wait and see if you return with another post tonight.

KBC

I understand that medication may take a while to come into effect, but I've been taking it for over two months now, and there has been no noticeable positive effect. The meds have done nothing to my sleep pattern (unless you count strangely symbolic dreams and sleeping in later), and I've also had my prescription doubled at least three weeks ago. The problem is, I feel as though I've hit rock bottom. I'm no longer good at the things that I once was, and find errors with almost everything I do now. To add even more to the paradox, failure is what I seem to be obsessing about... which of course snowballs after a short amount of time...

Have you been taking the meds as prescribed,exactly as prescribed,every day?

I only ask this because I would miss a day or 2 and rationalize that it was OK,nothing bad happened.The problem was I wasn't at a therapeutic level for days after missing my dosages.

If you have been compliant,I would ask the doctor to change you to another anti-depressant,there are so many out there today.I personally have been on Paxil,Prozac,Zoloft,Celaxa(today)and a few others I can't seem to remember probably because they didn't do much for me and I was taken off them quickly.

The feelings of hitting that rock bottom is probably your depression still unchecked.

You know it can be like this?Making you believe the worst possible outcome for every little thing?It is out of control(Not you out of control,only the depression making you think you are the problem.)

Failure is just another facet of this insanity.I did this too,trying to be as perfect as I could be so I couldn't be judged by others,much less myself for failing,only when I WAS judged or saw myself fail(weather it was real or just percieved)I would crash,literally.

I have had some real doozies,many times admitted into the hospital for depression(much less the manic side also).

A change might be warranted,I suggest talking this out with your therapist/psych doc.

Good luck,

KBC

You may also have OCD which makes you focus too much on one thing or things. Like the others here that I've read. Must of them good responses. I too have been there and have lived with it along time now. My ocd spun right out of control before I finally went for help. That was years ago now and id say the long term good ( For me ) has been well worth it. I don't become frustrated or angry at the drop of the hat. I don't wash my hands all day. At my worst, I wouldn't go to work and I didn't even know why. It was killing my family in many ways. But , I now have a Great job that is a challanging and fun. And I do more with my kids. We all get along great now. I owe it all to zolft.. Do give up. Stay focused. Stay the course and do your best.


How old did you say ( If you did ) you were?

No matter where you go, there you are.

Hugh.

Type-o... Sorry.. Don't give up...

Having suffered from depression on and off for years I can only speak from my experience.

I have found that this *festive* time of year can be extremely challenging for someone who is feeling low.It seems the whole world is full of holiday cheer and one feels compelled to join in or feel somehow *out of the loop*.

I live in New york and there is very little daylight and lack of sunshine which can affect mood.Sometimes referred to as S.A.D.(Seasonal affective disorder)

You mentioned your I.Q. so I am wondering if perhaps you are over analyzing your situation and perhaps berating yourself by what you see as a personal failure.

I would say that for right now perhaps you could join a site such as this as I have found helping others or at least trying to do so takes the focus off oneself and gives one a sense of accomplishment.

I hope this was somewhat helpful and you do find the peace you so deserve.

Blessings.. Michele

I have the same problem. I also feel the same way about my medicine. I cry every night, and wonder why I have to feel this way! What did I do, my life isn't bad either. I have a lot of friends and have a nice life, but I still feel this way, and why. I also see a theropist, and have also been diagnosed with severe depression, along with that pi- polar! I feel for yah hun. I hope you get better, I always feel it helps to find that one or two special person(s) you can relay on, and do it. They always help!

I cry, can't sleep, wonder, and cry some more. My days are filled with being depressed. I've been diagnosed with severe depression and bi- polar. I hate going through my life everyday. I take a med for it all. But I have only been taking it for a couple of weeks, so it needs more time to work..

I live a normal life, a great life at that!
-Boyfriend
-Lots of friends
-Good grades
-Awesome family

So why?
Why do I have to feel this way?
What did I do to deserve this feeling everyday of my life.

I feel horrible too sometimes because this gut I am with I have been with for a little over 9 months, and were so happy! We've been bestfriends since 7th Grade! I feel bad because I get so sad with him around sometimes, and don't act like I used to. I think it affects him. I hope it DOESN'T! I would feel even more horrible, he says he understands. But idk. What do you think?
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Can anyone answer my questions?

I mean all I can say is that its tuff you really have to focus hard on your situation. Phsycyatrists/therapists can help but they can only do so much all they do is have you talk und if you tell them you feel like committing suicide they send you rite to the phsyce ward. You havee to better yourself and work hard on trying to become a more positive person. I've been subscribed to zoloft and prozac and a bunch of other crap but honestly I barely took that stuff. And I'm not againts med I just don't believe that meds are going to solve it all you sometimes have to work hard with the meds. I mean people now a days are on meds for friggen everything its crazy out there like almost every american is on something. But before I get off track I just want to say that its tuff and I know because many of us have been in that path. You have to be strong and don't let's that little piece of negativeity in your head let you down and feel sad. Think and think hard and think about the wonderful things the world has to offer and remember to just try and be positive and think that way because you are what you think and it's a fact.make sure to tell your therapst/doctor exactly how you feel and your emotions, they don't realLý care but its because they want to find the rite meds to give u. But be strong and fight hard I know it isn't easy its like fighting an invisible cancer that's stuck in there. Those are my words. -good luck
Ps: think about all the drugs and meds people are on today and the chemicals in them. Do u really believe every damn drugs is going to solve your problems meds can onlÝ do so much... -mikebrit

I have the same exact problem. I also feel the same way about my medicine. I cry every night, and wonder why i have to feel this way! what did I do, my life isn't bad either. I have a lot of friends and have a nice life, but i still feel this way, and why. I also see a theropist, and have also been diagnosed with severe depression, along with that pi- polar! I feel for yah hun. I hope you get better, I always feel it helps to find that one or two special person(s) you can relay on, and do it. They always help!

I cry, can't sleep, wonder, and cry some more. My days are filled with being depressed. I've been diagnosed with severe depression and bi- polar. I hate going through my life everyday. I take a med for it all. But I have only been taking it for a couple of weeks, so it needs more time to work..

I live a normal life, a great life at that!
-Boyfriend
-Lots of friends
-Good grades
-Awesome family

So why?
Why do I have to feel this way?
What did I do to deserve this feeling everyday of my life.

I feel horrible too sometimes because this gut I am with I have been with for a little over 9 months, and were so happy! We've been bestfriends since 7th Grade! I feel bad because I get so sad with him around sometimes, and don't act like I used to. I think it affects him. I hope it DOESN'T! I would feel even more horrible, he says he understands. But idk. What do you think?
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Can anyone answer my questions?

Well I can't seem to find where you posted this in your own question area anymore,I think it got removed,could you try to post it again,except without the colors,that is difficult to see,thanks.

While I won't agree with mikebrit's opinion of medications,if a person can make it without meds,I say do it!

BUT,if a person is diagnosed with a chemical imbalance such as depression or bi-polar disorder,they should seriously consider medications.

IF you stay on the medications as they are prescribed,every day,you will have results.Those results vary from person to person and some medications take up to 2 weeks to become therapeutic.If you think taking an anti depressant one day and think you'll feel better in a few hours,well,that just isn't going to happen,depression meds are not aspirin.

Well its not really about agreeing and disagreeing about other peoples opinions and beliefs. Most people are here to ask and answer. Or in this case this is a person who is in need of help and in so much pain. Peoplle may think they know whats its like but they dont unless you have been through depression like i miy self once have. I try to state and give facts that real peopl eand real doctors/scientist have recently come up with. This is according to new reasearch and studies. But disagree is your personal choice. I my self am not here to agree or disagree. im here to give the best advice to this stranger who is in desperate need of help from anyone bc it can become a life threatening situation. Thats the focus here. But meds can be alot of help and they will if u take them as perscribed. But im just stateing in general MEDs arents the cure to everything out there. Every human and every individual can create theyre own unique way of therapy for them selfs. You just have to be strong and learn more about your inner self. It can be very tuff. MEds DO HELP! YEs. But on the long run they arent that great for u. AND its a TRUE FACT in case you didnt know. If thats what it takes and its all you can do then DEF take your meds. and while u do. Be positive. YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK. and that also just was recently studied and actually is a true life fact. ALl i can say from this point is GOOD like. FIGHT HARD.. ANND BE STRONG. Most of us are here to help. But some other have nothing else to do. Although this is a cyber world. There are people who can give u positive advice out there. Thats what is important right now .Is positivity..

Depression is a form of anger.

Keep in mind while you are dealing with this illness with a professional that education is the most important thing you should work on at the present time in your life... lookiing back, you will never be sorry that you did. :)

A great part of therapy for depression is getting to the heart of your anger and facing it. Having the courage to give voice to your suffering. In addition, forming a healthy relationship with your therapist... the therapist will force you to do so-attempts to manipulate the therapist will fail. Once you can be your real self with people, you will find you are totally open to loving other people and being loved in return. :)

Stick with therapy, my friend. (also take up a sport-great help for depressed people)