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View Full Version : Is This a good thesis Statement


mzukkubit
Nov 19, 2008, 04:55 AM
Child abuse is a problem that includes many types, has many causes and affects the innocent, abused children negatively and leaves deep emotional scars in them

Clough
Nov 19, 2008, 05:37 AM
Child abuse is a problem that includes many types, has many causes and affects the innocent, abused children negatively and leaves deep emotional scars in them

Hi, mzukkubit!

Yes it's a good beginning to a thesis statement! Here's a re-write for you though for your consideration as you continue to draft your thesis.

Child abuse is a problem that can involve having a number of different types of abuse that have many ways of manifestation that can also lead to affecting innocent children negatively in ways that can leave deep, emotional scars in them.

I'm trying to keep your thoughts in mind as much as possible, it is after all, your assignment and must reflect what you know. That's one possibility of a re-write. There are other ways of stating it, also...

What were the specific instructions given to you by your teacher as to how to write your thesis, please?

If you continue to post more about your thesis, I would suggest doing so in the Writing forum area. You'll most likely get the most professional help there.

Thanks!

Clough
Nov 19, 2008, 05:41 AM
Here's another possible re-write.

Child abuse is a problem that can be manifested in a number of different ways that, depending on the type of abuse, can lead to innocent children being affected negatively by causing them to have deep, emotional scars.

Thanks!