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Maddie789
Nov 18, 2008, 12:18 PM
I want to apologise ahead of time for this being so long I just don't know how to say it shorter.

Ok so let me give a little background on myself so you can understand what is going on. I am a twenty year old American Arabic female born in Dubai, moved to California, and back to Dubai and then to Texas for good in 5th grade. I speak Arabic and English, but my English is excellent and my Arabic is a little weak because I haven’t been around it for a long time (besides speaking with my parents). Also I would describe myself as smart, nice, pretty, attractive, outgoing, and honest person. I have dated several different men but only one Arabic guy and we spoke English together mainly.

Ok so today is Tuesday and I met a guy on Friday night out at al Amir (an Arabic restaurant/ dancing scene), and we exchanged numbers and have hung out every night since for a little bit. Let me just say that I really do like what I see so far and hope that we continue to see each other. And for some reason I am having a problem being myself. I told him the first day that when I am in a situation I am not really familiar with I am a little shy at first until I open up( but it has been 4 days) and I still can not get out of my shell. I catch myself not knowing what to say, or how to say it ( he speaks Arabic a lot better than me and all his family and friends we have been around too) , also I catch myself being just quiet and not wanting to do things like (Karaoke, or even just engage in an ongoing conversation), and wondering what to say back when he says things like your eyes are so beautiful( but in Arabic and a lot more romantic) , and I HAVE NEVER ever had this problem! I am the type of person that says what I’m thinking no worries, or how I feel even if it means disagreeing with someone ( with respect to their feelings of course) , or that likes to do silly things and not care what anyone else thinks. I think it may be that I haven't been around this environment in a long time (even though I really do love it!) So even if I figure out what's is making me feel this way…( the fact that its all new things), I really don’t know how to change it and lighten up and relax and really show him my self( that’s why he liked me at the club that night anyway and I feel like that is the only night I was really myself). So now he just thinks I’m shy and I know I’m not…. Ugh! WHAT DO I DO? What is going on with me, I am way more fun than this? I know he would enjoy my company more, and I would enjoy myself a lot more.

Lastly he is leaving to go to Arizona for a month in a couple days and will leave to go visit my family in Palestine for a month almost as soon as he gets back. I think this will help because I will be in that surrounding for a month… ?

sunshineangel
Nov 18, 2008, 09:28 PM
It sounds like to me that he has struck you speechless. Every guy has a different effect on a woman. It might have something to do with him speaking more fluently than you in arabic. I think what you will have to do is relax yourself get yourself to a stage where you feel totally happy and relaxed. By that I mean get yourself in scene with him where you're most you. See if that makes a difference. My guess is that you're just a little bit nervous with this guy. I think you honestly care what he thinks and that is what's catching you up. You are sort of performing for him instead of being totally you. He seems to like you for who you are and who you think you have become. You're so young, have fun, let yourself live a bit.

neverme
Nov 18, 2008, 09:28 PM
You are in a new situation with this new man and a culture you are less used to. Do you think that you may be so shy due to the strict nature of the Arabic culture and this may be a bigger barrier than your used to to overcoming?

Maddie789
Nov 21, 2008, 01:33 PM
No not at all. We are both pretty amaricanized but we still know where we came from. So that is not really it. I think that the first response hit the nail on the head. We went to the casino with his aunt and really good friend and being in a more comfortable environment has def broken the ice. I feel so much better. Now I actually feel like I can be myself again. =-)