packer04
Nov 17, 2008, 02:11 AM
This doesn't pertain to any of my posts on here. But I have read this,heard this from friends and saw this on TV. They say men and women can not be friends. But if they are and one loves the other and the other doesn't love in return. Should they always remain friends. I am new to the dating world and don't really have any guy friends. I was afraid that I may get attached and than what? If both parties don't love each other(one loves, the other doesn't), do they often remain friends. Just a curious question. Does that ruin the friendship? Should not people be honest with one another??
jprivette
Nov 17, 2008, 02:18 AM
It's true that people should be honest with one another but if you want to remain friends and always have them around you have to suck in your feelings. Because if you loved him and he doesn't love you then you tell him that you do have feelings for him, things could get complicated. On one hand you will start hearing less from him and when you two do hang out it is more of an awkward vibe coming from both of you instead of the relaxed vibe. Then on the other hand he could feel the same way about you and just afraid to tell you... you just have to know your friend REALLY well.
talaniman
Nov 17, 2008, 06:03 AM
I see nothing wrong with being friends, and often we develop deep feelings over time. I think that's natural for humans.
I always believed that its not having those feelings, but how you deal with them. While its true, revealing those feelings may change the friendship, if your good friends, then you can probably deal with expressing them, and the possible rejection if your friend doesn't feel the same.
Again its about how well you deal with your feelings. Life teaches us coping skills, and we learn how to deal with life, and should never be afraid of taking risk every now, and then, if its reasonable.
Well adjusted, grounded people, have a variety of friends, both male and females, and personally among my best friends, there are more females, than males. They are all my wife's friends also, and therefore friends of the family, so there is no jealousy, or insecurities, involved at all.
In conclusion, men and women can have healthy friendships with each other, and even deal with the intense feelings they have, as long as they are honest, and can deal with those feelings, in a positive way.