View Full Version : Mother does not come and see child
hcaldwell68
Nov 15, 2008, 08:50 AM
My son and a girl had a child he is in basic training, she is living place to place, running around. She has left their baby girl with us for over 2 weeks and only seen her one time. Can we get guardianship of our granddaughter?
southerngalps
Nov 15, 2008, 09:17 AM
You should get a lawyer if you can afford one. You have rights as a grandparent (depending where you live). I AM NOT an expert in law, but it sounds like you MAY be able to, since the mother is unstable. You will have to prove it. God bless!
cadillac59
Nov 15, 2008, 12:17 PM
Yes, you can and should get a guardianship. Yours is the classic (and probably the most common) case for one.
When people talk about "grandparents rights" forget that. That's got nothing to do with your situation. In most places in the US grandparents have few if any rights and when they do they are highly restricted in the access time they have with a kid. This is not just local practice but is supported and in fact mandated by fairly recent US Supreme Court precedent which defines and protects parental rights and parental decision-making with respect to who may request visitation with a person's children.
Fr_Chuck
Nov 15, 2008, 12:27 PM
Yes you can try, now of course she may show up and demand her child, so be sure your attorney files for an emergancy custody order giving you custody till the court date.
cadillac59
Nov 15, 2008, 12:41 PM
Oh and one other thing.
Most people on this board are not attorneys. But that doesn't mean they don't give good advice and some do give excellent advice.
There might be a few on the board who are attorneys but I don't know who they are or where they practice.
I'm one of the few perhaps here who is an attorney: I practice family law in California and I'm a Certified Family Law Specialist.
JudyKayTee
Nov 16, 2008, 07:52 AM
Oh and one other thing.
Most people on this board are not attorneys. But that doesn't mean they don't give good advice and some do give excellent advice.
There might be a few on the board who are attorneys but I don't know who they are or where they practice.
I'm one of the few perhaps here who is an attorney: I practice family law in California and I'm a Certified Family Law Specialist.
Then you should be more up to date on Grandparents rights - I find your info somewhat flawed. It's a dangerous idea to give across the board advice when you have no idea what State you are addressing.
And there are more than a "few" Attorneys here -
cadillac59
Nov 16, 2008, 11:55 AM
Then you should be more up to date on Grandparents rights - I find your info somewhat flawed. It's a dangerous idea to give across the board advice when you have no idea what State you are addressing.
And there are more than a "few" Attorneys here -
Fine. But I don't know who is and who is not an attorney on this board (with some it's pretty easy to tell they are not) because I've yet to encounter anyone who identified himself/herself as such.
One thing I try to always emphasize is that in offering an opinion I am speaking ordinarily about California family law and offering it only as an example of how other states might approach an issue. And I usually ask people check with local counsel to see if what I say is correct in their jurisdiction. Nobody can be up to date on the laws of all 50 states at the same time and laws obviously do vary from state to state. I'm well aware of that.
Having said that, however, there are some matters in family law that indeed do( or are suppose to anyway) have national uniformity; examples are in the areas of child custody and child support jurisdiction because they are governed by uniform acts that all states have adopted (or almost all with respect to custody jurisdiction) (e.g. the UCCJEA and UIFSA). Also, there are matters that are restricted by US Supreme Court decision, which limits the powers of states to legislate in certain areas of the law in certain ways, such as in the case of grandparents' visitation rights.
The Supreme Court case that limits grandparents' rights, Troxel (2000), is very important to keep in mind. Yes, grandparents can have rights of access to their grandkids sometimes and under certain conditions but they do not have the broad rights that many people think, even if there are older statutes (pre-Troxel) still on the books that say otherwise. I frankly think the rights of grandparents is very restricted in most cases. At best I've seen grandparents get a few hours on a weekend maybe twice a month in cases where the mom and dad are separated, and sometimes supervised or with limitations on where they can visit the kids.
JudyKayTee
Nov 16, 2008, 12:48 PM
The Supreme Court case that limits grandparents' rights, Troxel (2000), is very important to keep in mind. Yes, grandparents can have rights of access to their grandkids sometimes and under certain conditions but they do not have the broad rights that many people think, even if there are older statutes (pre-Troxel) still on the books that say otherwise. I frankly think the rights of grandparents is very restricted in most cases. At best I've seen grandparents get a few hours on a weekend maybe twice a month in cases where the mom and dad are separated, and sometimes supervised or with limitations on where they can visit the kids.
Agree on the misconception part; when you are talking about the few hours on weekends, are you talking in California (I would assume). That is not the case in NYS.
As far as Attorneys on the Board - most don't identify themselves as such because of the various issues concerning giving legal advice on a help or message board. There are and have been lawsuits over advice posted on legal boards. That's why you see the disclaimers in the signatures and why some professional liability insurance companies are suggesting the disclaimer.
cadillac59
Nov 16, 2008, 01:21 PM
Agree on the misconception part; when you are talking about the few hours on weekends, are you talking in California (I would assume). That is not the case in NYS.
As far as Attorneys on the Board - most don't identify themselves as such because of the various issues concerning giving legal advice on a help or message board. There are and have been lawsuits over advice posted on legal boards. That's why you see the disclaimers in the signatures and why some professional liability insurance companies are suggesting the disclaimer.
I'm all for grandparent visitation and I personally would prefer to see grandparents have greater rights than they do but that's just not the way the law is. When I've counseled grandparents in the past (and represented them) I've explained the limitations and most people are surprised to learn that they don't have the same rights as parents (they don't have the responsibilities so why would they have the same rights you might ask). In the classic "intact" family with mom and dad living happily together and both objecting to grandparent access, grandparents have zero rights of access (I cannot recall if Troxel demands this but this is the law in California). That's it. When the parties split up, or one of them dies, then to door opens a bit and grandparents may be granted some time. But, at least in California that time is pretty constrained as I said, a few hours on a weekend typically. I've heard of some judges conditioning visits on the grandparents contributing to support, or paying a parents' attorney fees, or grandparents being supervised (for little or no reason). Again, it's not what most people think. If NYS is typically more generous than that, great. I'm all for it but that's not the way it works out here.
As a final matter, and I understand your point about professional liability, I think it is unfortunate that we have to be so guarded in what we say for fear we are going to be sued. One of the major problems we have in the legal profession is the inability of ordinary people to get good legal advice and help for free. So what do they do? They go it alone or ask their friends, their hairdresser, or the clerk at the store and get all sorts of ridiculous (and wrong) ideas. I think we should be grateful for the few attorneys out there willing to stick their necks out a bit and try to help people.