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View Full Version : Ex girlfriend broke up wants to stay friends and likes someone else right after ?


moomeacow
Nov 14, 2008, 07:09 AM
I've been dating her for a little over a year at first we were stuck to each other we would see each other every day talk all night long. She did drink a lot and smoke which I didn't really like so I convinced her to stop these things. She is a very jealous type she doesn't like men watching porn, looking a girls passing by etc. I was kind of jealous for different reasons because she has had a past boyfriend for 5 years that she would liked to still be friends with but I hated that and she stopped. We would have fights about the same thing usually about her past. But during the relationship she promised so many things to me. She said she would never give up etc. she was a vegetarian for 5 years and she started eating sea food again for me. We went on trips together and spend so much time together. We lived together for literally 3 weeks where she did everything a wife would do. During the relationship we had discussed marriage and possible kids in the future. So in the end she says that she would just like to be friends she says she feels she can't be free with me because I was so controlling. This all happened a week after she met this guy that reminded her so much of her old boyfriend. And she likes this new guy. She knows that even if her old boyfriend came back to her she would not take him in. she said that we need to take a break and she also says that she could never be herself around me and it was too much pressure. I love this girl I really want her back but I don't know what to do? I told her we should stay good friends and if you need anything you can call me, I realized a lot of things I did wrong that I was to proud and controlling and I told her that I could change but she said it was to late that she didn't see me that in that way anymore. She said I would always put her down that I made her look ugly fat and dumb, I don't deny that sometimes I did say that you should exercise a bit cause you stay home all day and be healthier but I have said many good things about her but she told me that all the good things usually came up in her mind as he's saying this cause he loves me and he doesn't really mean it. We are going on a trip to visit our families in dec for like 2 half weeks but during today to dec 13 she will be talking to this new guy. I really want her back but have no idea what to do I was thinking of still talking to her but less like I was busier. But I really don't have a plan. She believes in astrology and said the new guy she likes is the same as her old boyfriend (libra) and she hates libras and she said she wouldn't date him but I don't think that is true she talks to him everyday and call each other text etc. I don't know what to do any suggestions? Thanks

Romefalls19
Nov 14, 2008, 07:15 AM
It's over, just accept it. You both are too toxic for each others good. You claim she is too jealous and you seem too controlling. Don't spend so much time trying to change someone, you fell for them the way they are so keep it that way. I can see her point about not being herself around you, because you seemed to want to change a lot about her. Go NC and just let her go, she ended it and has someone new. Don't listen to that Libra crap! It's such bull, cut the contact and start healing

jmw0713
Nov 14, 2008, 07:24 AM
She is seeing some else, NOT YOU! Like Rome said, move on and concentrate on yourself. Take this as experience and use what you learned in this relationship to make your next one better. Find someone who's lifstyle is more compatible to what you want. Trying to change others never works. It just pushes them away resulting in situations like your's.

Everything will get better with time.

talaniman
Nov 14, 2008, 07:34 AM
She wants her freedom, let her have it. Take your freedom and live your own life and heal. Go strict no contact until you are over her and are happy with the life you have built for yourself.

Read the stickies, at the beginning of this forum for some suggestions to help you heal, and move on.

Sorry for your loss, we have all been there.

moomeacow
Nov 16, 2008, 03:57 PM
I've started the NC but I can't get her out of my mind, my heart. Her seeing someone else is haunting me at first I had her on Facebook and I started looking at her profile and I forced myself to block her page. I blocked her on msn but I'm getting mood swings sometimes I just start crying... I'm forcing myself to eat, and sleep. We used to spend always in my room and everything reminds me of her I feel like I'm breaking down

kctiger
Nov 16, 2008, 04:13 PM
You will be fine. Everything you are going through is just natural in the healing process. I know how it feels to see your ex with someone else. But, I can say, that you can only go up from here. If I was to ask you the one thing you didn't want to hear or see, it would probably be seeing that your ex was with another guy already. It literally can't get any worse than this... so you have hit rock bottom. Now, you can start to rebuild your life and heal. Facebook is the most hurtful website that you can look at after a break up. I took my profile down, as I wanted nothing to do with that. You will be fine. Just let the emotions out. I can tell you it will feel bad for awhile, however it will get better with time, and you being proactive and determined not to let this ruin your life... even though it feels like it is.

talaniman
Nov 16, 2008, 10:17 PM
What your feeling is grief for the loss your going through, and its supposed to hurt. It's a natural part of healing.

moomeacow
Nov 22, 2008, 11:41 PM
I miss this person so much, I tried hating her for what she did but I can't hate her even though she hurt me and likes this someone else. I've been trying to get her out of my head but I just seem to, she even haunts me in my dreams. I feel so alone, hurt, empty. I wish she would just give me a chance, but I don't see that happening. Just wanted to talk to someone...

jmw0713
Nov 23, 2008, 07:30 AM
I know how you feel. You just got to deal with it and keep doing what you do. It helps to stay busy and hang out with friends. It also help if you join the gym and work your off. That way you will sleep better. The dreams will go away soon. I had some pretty vivid dreams about my ex for about a week. Then as time went on they stopped. I mean I still have dreams with her in them, but they are not centered around her... and they don't really leave me sad... too much.

You also can't turn your feelings off for someone. It will take time for you to get over this loss. You may never hate her either. I still love my ex and I can't hate her. I don't think my feelings for her will ever go away. I don't think I will ever be angry at her. I am mostly disappointed about what she did... but I don't dwell on it and I keep going.

Stay strong. You'll get through it!

wolfgangqpublic
Nov 23, 2008, 10:55 AM
Rome is right - you are both way to toxic, and nothing about this relationship says "healthy" to me. She was very jealous and didn't behave in the best way. You were way too controlling, basically trying to force her to change who she was for you.

Losing her was a lesson you needed to have. I hope you can learn from it and not make the same mistakes.

No contact is the only course for you right now. There's nothing to gain from holding on to this relationship.