I do not understand everything about child custody cases, but I want to raise my own children. Because of my past gambling problem, my ex-husband was granted legal and physical custody of our children. Instead of raising our children, he decided to let them stay with his mother and sister. One child lives with his mother and the other lives with his sister. We both live out of state. I understand that the parent with legal custody can decide where his/her children should live, but wouldn't judge prefer that the children live with the father or mother? In addition, does it look good in the court for children to not live with either parents?

The reason why I am asking these questions is because I have my life together. I am doing very well. Most of all I truly love my children and I would like for them to live with me since their father hasn't shown any indication that he wants to raise them. I am just trying to find out how a judge will feel if a parent with legal and physical custody has not made any attempt to raise their children. My children are with me every summer. I see them as much as possible. My problems are well under control.

I am not the only mother in this world who has been through something. So, do I have a chance of getting my children back?

Would it be that difficult to regain custody of my children? I do not understand how women who actually kill someone and get of jail and get their children back. But I keep hearing from people that it would be difficult for me to get my children back because custody has already been established. I do not understand.

You'll need a good child custody attorney to fight this for you. Yes, it can be done. Yes, it will be expensive and last a long time to get accomplished.

I agree you need an attorney, but I think you have an excellent chance if you can prove that your gambling problems are under control.

Your ex is violating the custody agreement by not having the kids live with him. When custody is awarded to a parent, THAT parent has to be the custodian. It would be OK for him to live with his mother or sister and the kids, but to dump them on either, especially to split them up, is a violation of the custody order.

So if you go into court and tell the judge that your ex is NOT fulfilling his obligations as custodial parent and that have cleaned up your act and are prepared to be a proper custodial parent, I think the judge will grant you custody.

I think you have a good chance of getting custody. Incidentally, I'm a little surprised that a gambling problem would be a factor in denying a parent custody or some sort of shared custody. I view that as more of a financial problem unrelated to parenting skills, but that's another matter (to me that's almost as ridiculous as denying custody to a parent because of the parent's poor credit rating or something... BUT, just my opinion).

The fact that the custodial parent has split the kids up and abrogated the parenting role to third parties bothers me which adds quite a bit to your chances of getting custody.