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kayla_pink
Nov 5, 2008, 08:52 PM
Kids in my school call me fat stupid and ugly what to do

Fr_Chuck
Nov 5, 2008, 09:07 PM
Ignore them

kayla_pink
Nov 5, 2008, 09:17 PM
That didn't help me

rockerchick_682
Nov 5, 2008, 09:23 PM
Fr_Chuck is right. You are the only one that can make you feel the way you do. You could also try talking to a school counsler.

kayla_pink
Nov 5, 2008, 10:32 PM
Tks u guys

Clough
Nov 5, 2008, 11:39 PM
Hi, kayla_pink!

In addition to the answers above, why do you think they are calling you those names and how have you reacted when they have called you them, please?

Thanks!

homebirthmom
Nov 6, 2008, 12:13 AM
I too went through this, relentlessly in school, especially junior high. I don't know how old you are, or how long this has gone on, but I can tell you that only you can make it better. No, you probably won't be able to stop the other people from making hurtful remarks, but you are the one that either takes it to heart, or brushes it off.
Remember... "sticks and stones"
I know that this probably doesn't help a great deal, but in the long run, I hope it does.
Also, you've heard that people who make fun of others are making up for their own insecurities?!
Well, for the most part this seems to be true. It may not be something that they, or you or anyone else is consciously aware of, but if they were to get right down to the nitty-gritty, it's more than likely the truth.
And, it never hurts to report the "offenders" to the staff. Name calling of any kind is hurtful, and should not be allowed to go on.

asking
Nov 6, 2008, 12:31 AM
I agree with homebirthmom about reporting this name calling to the school. They might actually be able to help, especially if it is only a few kids. I know that names DO hurt and it understandable that you feel bad. But it's also true that those kids are being awful and that is not your fault. Do try to remember that. But I don't agree that being treated like that is harmless and how you feel is entirely within your control. This is not all in your head.

In groups of animals, when one is harassed by the others, it can become very distressed and even get sick. These effects are real and you are entitled to try to stop them from harassing you.

If you can, stand up to them, either by reporting them or even talking back. I didn't get bullied much in junior high, but one girl kept kicking me one day. I had no idea what to do so I just bluffed. I stood as tall as I could and said, "Jill Ann Walters, are you looking for trouble?!" She stopped and never bothered me again. I couldn't believe it. :) I had no idea what I was going to do if she didn't stop. Don't get into a physical fight though!

Wondergirl
Nov 6, 2008, 12:38 AM
I think I have a solution. When they tease you or call you names... this is going to take a lot of courage on your part!. laugh with them, make fun of yourself gently, laugh and smile and nod your head agreeably.

You see, these kids want you to react badly and to feel awful and to slink away in embarrassment. When that happens and you give in to their abuse, you give them power and make them feel stronger than you are. Deep down inside, they are weak and powerless, and they know it, so they want to get your power by mistreating you.

Don't give in to them. Don't give away your power. Hold back the tears and bite back the angry retorts and don't feel the shame. Instead, feel your own power.

Now, part of this is that it's a secret. If you tell them what you are up to, you are revealing the secret and you end up giving your power away after all.

Another thing you could try is to make friends with them. That would take a little more work, but you would be teaching them how to find their own power, so they don't have to steal someone else's. But that's another discussion.

kayla_pink
Nov 6, 2008, 08:16 AM
thatnks you guys and to answer a question I'm in gr 7 (almost 13 y.o) and this has been happineng scence gr 2 ^^( you guys helped lots tks

asking
Nov 6, 2008, 09:01 AM
Junior high is the worst for teasing and bullying. It should get better when you get into higher grades. But the kids shouldn't be doing it and a lot of teachers nowadays know that even if they don't always know what to do about it.

Also, talk to your parents. And maybe you will find something useful here.
Dealing With Bullying (http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/problems/bullies.html)

Bullying | American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/bullying)

ZoeMarie
Nov 6, 2008, 09:47 AM
Just laugh it off. If these kids aren't getting the reaction out of you that they want they will stop. I went through the same things in middle school

SweetDee
Nov 7, 2008, 05:39 AM
Well quite honestly I may not have a popular opinion, but lately I'm finding I often do not.

I feel that you should stand up for yourself. My daughter was very very picked on in grade 7. She was called the same names as you are.

I used to sit with her and role play all kinds of come backs so she can not put up with people treating her badly.

Most people say that you should ignore... I just don't feel like you can see any changes in the way people act toward you if you remain their doormat.

My daughter would out ANY GIRL no matter how popular she was. I taught her to defend herself. Now she's 16 and there are no girls who WOULD DARE to even look at her w/ a slight dirtsack look.

The boys, if they are bullying you, honestly IGNORE them. They are easier to deal w/ then chicks. If the girls are hating on you then you HAVE to step up and find someone to play "the comeback game" with. It will strengthen your ability to find the words and give you the courage to keep on it when ever some b*tch tries to bring you down.

Short of that your parents NEED to be involved. They have to know what you are going through. They also have to keep the boys from getting physical with you in any way. Have them make the school aware of what is happening to you.

Also, since you have been picked on for so long can you not find a way to ask your parents to send you to another school so you can start new?

Also, you should be told, (and I don't want to be rude or mean... but... ), WHATEVER you can do to build yourself esteem up even if it takes working out and eating right so you can look your personal best... YOU MUST DO. You can't be passive and just let life happen to you. Do what ever you can to better yourself so you KNOW that you haven't just sat their taking crap and have had no power in it's result.

Be your personal best, it will breed confidence! I promise you that... xo

linnealand
Nov 8, 2008, 08:10 AM
Also, you should be told, (and I don't want to be rude or mean...but...), WHATEVER you can do to build your self esteem up even if it takes working out and eating right so you can look your personal best...YOU MUST DO. You can't be passive and just let life happen to you. Do what ever you can to better yourself so you KNOW that you haven't just sat their taking crap and have had no power in it's result.

Be your personal best, it will breed confidence! I promise you that... xo

This is actually very true. It's not easy to say or easy to hear, but it's true. You need to love yourself no matter what. Still, yourself esteem can really grow as you celebrate your own successes down the road. This might mean getting in shape (only in a healthy way!), it might mean having a hobby that you're good at, it might mean doing special things for other people. All of us need to keep striving to be our best. When these things come together, there's often less bullying (it's sad but true), and whatever bullying comes your way bounces off a lot faster.

I hope you believe in yourself and your strengths. I'm sure this is a tough time for you, but things will get better. Just keep looking ahead.

homebirthmom
Nov 8, 2008, 09:14 AM
Sweet Dee

I absolutely agree with you. The role playing is a perfect way to clear your head, and know how to deal with these situations.
As for telling the parents, this I couldn't possibly agree with more. I didn't tell my parents about me being bullied, so they couldn't do anything about it. Later in life, I paid for being the "doormat" so to speak. I think a lot of my school years have a bit part to play in my depression.

Kayla_Pink
Tell your parents, use any resourse available to you, and do it now. Yes, High School is normally a better time, but since you've went through this for so long, you definitely need to get it stopped.
Good luck to you. Be strong, and don't be afraid to tell people who can make it stop!!

Wondergirl
Nov 8, 2008, 12:08 PM
kids in my school call me fat stupid and ugly what to do
Another thing I thought of, these bullies want to bring you down to their level. They want you to bully them back by yelling unkind words and insulting them. That is another way they can make you lose your power and then be just as powerless as they are.

Don't fall for it!

This sort of thing happens even to grownups at work, at home, in the military, in college, even in church groups! Bullies have no age limits. If you are willing to give away your power, bullies will find you.

It's exactly what happened to President-Elect Obama during the primary when Hillary Clinton dissed him, and later in the general election campaigning when McCain, Palin, and other Republicans dissed him and bullied him by telling lies about his background and insulting him in all sorts of ways.

A couple of times Obama and his campaign workers caved in and gave away his power by trying to diss McCain right back. Obama realized what was happening, that he was giving away his power to McCain, and thus changed the direction of his campaign.

After that, Obama was always classy and professional and in control of himself, either turning insults into humor or responding in reasonable ways and even just sidestepping the insults in order to talk about what was more important to the American people. That gave Obama tremendous power.

Did you notice who won the election..

talaniman
Nov 8, 2008, 07:45 PM
Let you in on a secret, people who bully, and call others names are not happy with themselves, and are trying to feel better about themselves, by bringing you down.

You must have something they don't have, and are jealous.

Feel sympathy for them, as they are are very sad lot.

Don't let these little sad people get you down, just remember its them that are hurting, and want you to feel their pain.

asking
Nov 8, 2008, 08:17 PM
I agree with what's been said.

Also, people bully because they feel entitled to bully people they think can't or won't hurt them back. It helps a lot to not seem weak, which can include the way you walk and talk, the way you interact with others (having a social network--even a little one, makes you stronger), and, frankly, scaring them back a little. I hate to say that, but I think it's true that one way of dealing with bullies is to growl a little. I don't mean that literally, but I do mean making them afraid to bother you.

There's an organization called Kidpower that teaches kids how to deal with bullies. They are very good if they give sessions in your area.

asking
Nov 10, 2008, 09:31 AM
There's some evidence that bullies enjoy hurting others. Of course, that's not too surprising. Otherwise, why would they do it? But the good news is that not everyone does. :)

HealthDay (http://www.healthday.com/Article.asp?AID=621105)

buggie_666
Nov 29, 2008, 09:11 PM
Don't react thas the worst when they know its bothering you there going to keep doing it and that doesn't work say your jelouse or say your dad dident seem to mind!! lol:D

Xx-Hayley-xX
Dec 2, 2008, 04:27 AM
Hey, My names Hayley and I that is exactly what they call me! Im 11 and I've just started a new school, so you can expact that!
That's proberly cause I am fat and ugly, but I'm sure your not, when people say things like that I always have different ways one dealing with it.
If its not that bad then all you have to do is wait 10 seconds breath in and out and walk away, if its quite heartbreaking I always think crying to myslef and writing down all the things I've been called and rip them up and throw them in the fire and think that's there opinion but your proberly really nice on the inside, so just think of things like that.
But if it gets really out of hand TELL PEOPLE! That's what I did and now the people are accually very nice to be and give me nice commets and don't think that they will bully you more just say to the teacher can you say that you saw them calling you names so the bullys have know reason to harm you any more. If feels a whole load better to tell them!
People who you can tell are: Your Mom, Your friends and family, Your Grand-Parents, Your Teacher and Your school Consouller!
Thanks for listening, I hoped this helped you because it helped me with my problems! :)

kayla_pink
Dec 2, 2008, 08:57 AM
Thanks you guys, I have another prob there's a new girl she's really nice but she's pretty large and people make fun of her and they tell me to go hang with her because I belong wioth her I don't have a prob hanging with her because she's nice . Also I just wanted to let you guys know this is my second year in this school and some 1 said junyor high but in my school its gr k-7 kk thankies

talaniman
Dec 2, 2008, 12:01 PM
It seems this group has been together for a while, and like making fun of the newer kids. To bad for them. Don't act like them. I'll bet you can relate to the new girl though.

liz28
Dec 3, 2008, 10:22 PM
Some people love to bully people for no reason, just for kicks. I teach my daughter whenever someone calls her name response back with a comeback and look them straight in eyes when you say it.

Before she starting standing up for herself it got to the point that I was so fed up with it that I requested a conference with the parent and I could see why this little girl was behaving the way she was but that's no excuse. It does start from home and even when it not happening at home but is brought to the parent attention and they ignore it, what does that tell you?

Don't let anyone steal your sunshine away and take up for yourself. Embrace and love yourself because there's something that they see in you that they are jealous about and if you don't stick up for yourself no one else will. No matter what age you are or where you go there's always going be someone that wants to start trouble with you and they prey on the weak and now a days bullies are taking bulling to the next level by being cyberbullies. Stand strong and confident and when I used to get picked on in school my mother used to tell me to say"the devil is a liar and the truth aint in you", I still use that saying today.

Also, when you get mad do something positive to release your anger instead of holding it in because I kept it in when I was getting picked on and I beat the girl up and I shouldn't have done that. Then my mother put me in karate to channel my anger in a different way when I was younger.

JudyKayTee
Dec 4, 2008, 11:02 AM
It seems this group has been together for a while, and like making fun of the newer kids. To bad for them. Don't act like them. I'll bet you can relate to the new girl though.


Exactly - it's important not to stoop to their level and, hopefully, not to turn into the bully.

chuff
Dec 16, 2008, 11:44 PM
Kayla, it took me getting to be an adult to look back at some of the things people said to me as a child to realize something. No offense to you and your age but I don't give a damn what a 12 year thinks about me. I don't give a damn if that 12 year old is the most popular person in school or the heir to the throne of some country, because someone at that age doesn't know what they are talking about in anything related to the real world.

The reason I say this is because if someone your age called me anything I'd laugh at their stupidity. Stupidity in the sense they haven't lived long enough to know what they are talking about. I guess it would be like a 5 year old making faces at you. You wouldn't be insulted because that level of behavior is beneath you. At some point in your life you will look back and ask yourself, "why was I insulted by these people, they didn't know what they were talking about?" Well, as a grown adult I'm suggesting you don't wait. Just tell yourself now, what the future you is going to realize with age, they are a bunch of immature girls who don't know what they are talking about.

You are giving these girls, who you yourself don't know value when in fact they have no value because they judge people based on their perception of good looks. What have they done in life that deserves any value from you? Nothing. Not one thing.

I'm not in the boat of people who say to ignore them because I think at some point you have to start defending yourself, but at the same time it has to be done with humor and not hatred. People say I'm funny all the time, but that developed from fighting people off who called me carrot top and freckle face as a kid. You can give yourself permission to defend yourself, but by the same token, you have to give yourself permission to understand the most important person in your life is you, and you can not let other peoples non realities about who you are, come to define who you are. The people who read your posts here can see you are a sensitive, caring young woman, if those around you can't that becomes their loss, not yours. That is their reality, not yours. Your reality is fine, there is warped.

this_or_that
Mar 15, 2009, 05:00 PM
You should mock them in a way that they'll shut up. Like telling them they shouldn't be wearing their outfit, or their face is more messed up than what comes out of their mouth. For me people call me short and what I do is get up in their faces mocking them and saying the most hated thing of them to their faces. That makes them shut up and next thing you know, they're afraid of you and they won't say anything about you anymore(esp. when they don't look in your eyes when you go up to them). If they talk behind your bak, go up to them and confront them (dont get too tough) ask them why can't they say it to your face and all that, they won't have anything to say back. And GIRL, tell them to hang on to their words, because when you grow up and look HOT, remember they disrespected you and now they see u HOT, they'll regret everything that they said about you!

chuff
Mar 16, 2009, 06:26 PM
Kayla, are you still reading these? How are you doing?