joy25
Nov 4, 2008, 10:44 AM
I really need to find my biological mother, I have issues that simply need closure or I will NEVER be able to be the person I want to be. It is always eating away at me that my mother has never tried to contact me, and I celebrated my champagne birthday this year battling depression because I couldn't stop thinking that it'll be another 25 years before she ever has the decency to contact me if she ever does and it makes me so upset I feel sick to my stomach. I kind of pushed all this to the back of my mind and never dealt with it, but I recently had my first child and I've been struggling with severe depression since then because I can't understand it after feeling what a mother's love really is. My point to this rambling is that I need closure desperately and if she won't do it for me then I guess it falls on my shoulders to do it and I wanted to know if anyone knows how you find information about your biological parents without asking your mom and dad? They asked me when I turned 18 and I told them I couldn't care less about her. (I said it but didn't mean it because I didn't want to hurt them. I said 'I have a mom') I need to find her because I need to let this go so I can be a better mother and not hurt so much but I simply can't ask my parents and I need another way but I don't even know where to start, I've been holding it in so long it's really really hard to talk about. I also wanted to know if we have any illnesses that run in the family... when doctors ask me my family history it's so so hard to say I don't know and then I have to explain why. :(
I'm sory to ramble on, I guess I needed to get that out as much as I need any suggestions anyone can offer me. I live in Canada as well if that matters.
Also, not that it really matters but it will explain why I'm so upset that my mother hasn't tried to contact me even though she could've once I turned 18--7 years ago. My sister is also adopted and her mother called on her 18th birthday, she couldn't wait for her to meet her. It made me so sad and I know I shouldn't expect anything from anybody but after having my daughter and feeling that special love for the first time it has been on my mind so so much now. Is it common for adopted children to never hear from their biologic parents? How can they stay away? It's very important to have family medical history these days.
I'm sory to ramble on, I guess I needed to get that out as much as I need any suggestions anyone can offer me. I live in Canada as well if that matters.
Also, not that it really matters but it will explain why I'm so upset that my mother hasn't tried to contact me even though she could've once I turned 18--7 years ago. My sister is also adopted and her mother called on her 18th birthday, she couldn't wait for her to meet her. It made me so sad and I know I shouldn't expect anything from anybody but after having my daughter and feeling that special love for the first time it has been on my mind so so much now. Is it common for adopted children to never hear from their biologic parents? How can they stay away? It's very important to have family medical history these days.