My mom died Sunday morning at 9:32 am from Cancer at the age of 51, I was was the last on the leave her room when she passed... I kept talking to her to make sure she was really gone.
At 9:32 yesterday evening (Also Sunday) 12 hours after my mother passed (I was sitting watching the time replaying the event of the morning in my head.. ) I got out of bed, got in my truck and told my boyfriend to drive.

Out of the blue I told my boyfriend to just keep going straight.. he asked.. You're not going "there"? Are you? I said yes... Quietly told him to just keep driving..
I went to a cemetery, the one where my grandma is at.. My mom said "when I get outta here I want to go visit her" My mom really never thought she would die, she always thought she would get better or at least be able to go home for a little bit.

When we got to the Cemetery,
We were driving around in the cemetery, I don't know where my grandma is actually at so I just wanted to "go".. I felt that I needed to go there for some reason, this place is about a 35 min drive from my home.

While I was there we drove up around a big wall of plaques and they have windows looking in to where the inside wall of plaques is.. We came to the fork in the road with a stop sign, looked over and there was a window glowing in red from the candles all lit, then my boyfriend goes in reverse, we both look over and my boyfriend screams "OMFG" I dodn't say anything at first because I thought I was seeing things... There was a image in the window of a woman in a white dress standing there..

(I kept telling my boyfriend earlier I wouldn't be at peace until I know there was "another side" and that my mom was OK.. ) I'm not one that prayed or even went to church in my life.. I know there is something above but I didn't and still don't know what.

Anyway my boyfriend starts rambling lets get out of here, lets get out of here, how do I get out of here?! All of the sudden my shifter light came on, a light that has never worked in my truck, and a johnny Reid song my mom really liked and one of the songs I wanted to play at her funeral this week came on the CMT country count down playing on my radio.. while I was still in the cemetery..
YouTube - Johnny Reids Out of the Blue (lyrics) (http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=uU2UjxjMSeI)


I think I just got my sign... I took it as a sign.. Is it possible for both of us to see this and for something as weird as that to happen? Can it possibly be stress induced? I don't know what to think but it made me feel better afterwords..

I drove as fast I could into town to tell my sister and her highly religious boyfriend, he looked like he was in shock when I told him..

I had goose bumps for a good hour.

I had to go to the funeral home today, and on my way I was playing a mix CD with johnny reid on it. My Bf asked.. "you are going to give them that CD right... you've been playing the same 4 songs over and over" I sighed and said yes.

When we left the Funeral home and got into my truck and started it, one of johnny reid's songs were playing on my radio again.

My Bf looked up and said "ma you can stop doing this now"

Are these types of signs the passed on send as little reminders to let us know they are OK? Of just a coincident?
I said many times yesterday I wanted a sign to know she was truly OK. My moms illness came very quick, she wasn't even aware she had cancer until it was in the final stage and they thought she was going to die over a month ago before her 51st birthday, all the doctors said she fought until the bitter end.

Is there a chance something else will happen?

Hehe sorry for the typos.. lol

Hi, Kat. So sorry to hear about your mom. To answer the question based on my experience, it takes a while for a soul to move beyond this life completely. In some cultures, it is assumed to take a year, or a year and a day. But that's just a rule of thumb. Like anything else, people progress at their own pace. So it is normal for your mom to stay close to you, and to places you know, for a while.

It is also normal for you to stay close to her. As a probate lawyer, I can tell you that grief could be described as a form of insanity. Meaning, when people are grieving, they are not their usual selves. They are not operating on the plane of reality, the state of consciousness, that is considered the "normal" waking state of consciousness in this culture of mainstream Western Civilization (many other cultures around the world are much better at recognizing other states of consciousness, such as trance and dream states, as valid and normal, too). When you are in the grieving state, things can happen to you that would "normally" not happen. In particular, in the grief state you are more "sensitive" (in the psychic sense of the word) than normal. You are better able to listen to that little inner voice of intuition than when you are caught up in normal day to day life.

It sounds like you have been doing a very good job so far of listening to that inner voice that guides you. Keep it up! Stay willing to be open to your mother's presence, so she can show up or send you messages in whatever way is meaningful to you and to her. It's OK if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. Stay open to her presence, without trying to hold her back. That can be the hard part. Let her go, trusting her to find a good place for herself, and trusting that on some level she can always be there for you, a presence of strength and love, whenever you need her. Your trust is like a row of little luminaries guiding her path. Your trust in her helps her, too.

Trust yourself, too. Trust your inner voice to guide you how and when to grieve and what to do to honor your mother and honor your grieving. Don't let anyone else tell you what you should or shouldn't do. It's up to you, and there is no hurry. Take it in its own good time, how ever long it takes.

Those are the best things you can do for both your mom and yourself. And don't be afraid. There is nothing to be frightened of. Well, usually. Sometimes people who die do get a little stuck, a little confused. When the death is sudden, that can happen. Don't stress out about that, though. It's very rare that it becomes a big problem. Trust and patience and love from someone like you is usually all that's needed. If you start to get signals that she needs more help than that, post a question here and we'll see what more needs to be done. But like I said, that probably won't happen, so don't worry about it. We'll cross that bridge if we come to it.

For now, just continue to listen to your heart. What it tells you is real, and the "paranormal" experiences you have during this time are real. They aren't normal experiences by our society's standards, but that's our society's problem. Many other cultures have much better rituals for honoring our ancestors who have passed on, for their well-being and our own. You might want to research some of those, and see if you find anything you like.

Blessings to you and your family,

Alder

Alder,
You seem like you may be able to help me, I have just lost my father to a sudden unexpected death. I am having a hard time dealing with it . I have been having horrible nightmares . I have had one good dream thus far... I believe he has already tried to let me know he is OK . I have been feeling more depressed then ever... to make matters worse, my step mom is not including me and my brothers with the visits with probate lawyers.. we do not feel as she has good intentions. She has only been with my dad almost 2 years. And he is her 3rd husband to die, which is suspicious to us. We have had bad feelings from the start. I am in dire heartache which I am sure is completely normal.. but all these added questions are making it very hard for me and my brothers. I am very in tune with the metaphysical and I know he is around me in spirit . But was it meant to happen ? And how do I start dealing with these feelings.
Sincerely
L

Hi, Kat. So sorry to hear about your mom. To answer the question based on my experience, it takes a while for a soul to move beyond this life completely. In some cultures, it is assumed to take a year, or a year and a day. But that's just a rule of thumb. Like anything else, people progress at their own pace. So it is normal for your mom to stay close to you, and to places you know, for a while.

It is also normal for you to stay close to her. As a probate lawyer, I can tell you that grief could be described as a form of insanity. Meaning, when people are grieving, they are not their usual selves. They are not operating on the plane of reality, the state of consciousness, that is considered the "normal" waking state of consciousness in this culture of mainstream Western Civilization (many other cultures around the world are much better at recognizing other states of consciousness, such as trance and dream states, as valid and normal, too). When you are in the grieving state, things can happen to you that would "normally" not happen. In particular, in the grief state you are more "sensitive" (in the psychic sense of the word) than normal. You are better able to listen to that little inner voice of intuition than when you are caught up in normal day to day life.

It sounds like you have been doing a very good job so far of listening to that inner voice that guides you. Keep it up! Stay willing to be open to your mother's presence, so she can show up or send you messages in whatever way is meaningful to you and to her. It's ok if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. Stay open to her presence, without trying to hold her back. That can be the hard part. Let her go, trusting her to find a good place for herself, and trusting that on some level she can always be there for you, a presence of strength and love, whenever you need her. Your trust is like a row of little luminaries guiding her path. Your trust in her helps her, too.

Trust yourself, too. Trust your inner voice to guide you how and when to grieve and what to do to honor your mother and honor your grieving. Don't let anyone else tell you what you should or shouldn't do. It's up to you, and there is no hurry. Take it in its own good time, how ever long it takes.

Those are the best things you can do for both your mom and yourself. And don't be afraid. There is nothing to be frightened of. Well, usually. Sometimes people who die do get a little stuck, a little confused. When the death is sudden, that can happen. Don't stress out about that, though. It's very rare that it becomes a big problem. Trust and patience and love from someone like you is usually all that's needed. If you start to get signals that she needs more help than that, post a question here and we'll see what more needs to be done. But like I said, that probably won't happen, so don't worry about it. We'll cross that bridge if we come to it.

For now, just continue to listen to your heart. What it tells you is real, and the "paranormal" experiences you have during this time are real. They aren't normal experiences by our society's standards, but that's our society's problem. Many other cultures have much better rituals for honoring our ancestors who have passed on, for their well-being and our own. You might want to research some of those, and see if you find anything you like.

Blessings to you and your family,

Alder
I feel you are someone I need to talk to

Alder,
you seem like you may be able to help me, i have just lost my father to a sudden unexpected death. I am having a hard time dealing with it . i have been having horrible nightmares . I have had one good dream thus far.... i believe he has already tried to let me know he is ok . I have been feeling more depressed then ever... to make matters worse, my step mom is not including me and my brothers with the visits with probate lawyers..we do not feel as she has good intentions. She has only been with my dad almost 2 years. and he is her 3rd husband to die, which is suspicious to us. we have had bad feelings from the start. i am in dire heartache which i am sure is completely normal.. but all these added questions are making it very hard for me and my brothers. I am very in tune with the metaphysical and i know he is around me in spirit . but was it meant to happen ? and how do i start dealing with these feelings.
sincerely
L



Alder has not posted in well over a year and apparently is not reading these boards.

I have answered your legal question on your other thread. What is it you are looking for? Peace? Contact with your father or his spirit? You say that you know he is around you in spirit.

Are you looking for signs that your stepmother was involved in his death? Closure?

My mom just past away jan 1st of cancer never sick a day in her live until she was found with cancer in July.. and my kids see my mom but I don't my cousin feels her I don't... a meet this man in the laundry he told me your mom said she is so very sorry... I so wish I could see or just feel her around me !

Donna - do your best to remember the good times you had with your mom. The spirit world is dangerous to play with and it's best to not really have contact like that. Most people do not feel or see their "loved ones" after they pass. If you want to feel close to her, just focus on the times you were with her in life.