View Full Version : What should I do to get her back?
BossmanJunior22
Nov 3, 2008, 12:46 PM
So I just started college and met this girl during the first week that I really liked. Soon enough, I found out that she liked me too, and we began the stage of being together, but not technically being in a relationship. This went on for about a month, and I thought we were growing a lot closer and moving towards a relationship, until suddenly last week I found out from one of her friends that "she didn't feel the same about me anymore." I had her over for a talk, and she told me she didn't know why she felt different, but she just did, and that she wasn't ready for a relationship so early in college. She told me it wasn't anything I did, but I am pretty reluctant in accepting this. She is all I can think about, and I don't know what to do because apparently I didn't do anything wrong(bull). I was thinking about avoiding her for a while and seeing if she would come back to me? Any suggestions as to what I should do?
Keep avoiding her and see if she will come back.
I hate to be blunt, however when a girl gives reasons for leaving they are very seldom the actual reasons rather something that will make you feel better. I'm sure it was something, she didn't leave because you were perfect, but why go searching for an answer that may very well hurt. IT's not like she will give you the opportunity to fix it, it's over.
It's crappy, but your at the stage where you are trying to make sense of it all and sometimes you just have to let things be or risk more hurt and confusion by chasing after something that is always running away from you.
jolienoire
Nov 3, 2008, 01:36 PM
So I just started college and met this girl during the first week that I really liked. Soon enough, I found out that she liked me too, and we began the stage of being together, but not technically being in a relationship. This went on for about a month, and I thought we were growing a lot closer and moving towards a relationship, until suddenly last week i found out from one of her friends that "she didn't feel the same about me anymore." I had her over for a talk, and she told me she didn't know why she felt different, but she just did, and that she wasn't ready for a relationship so early in college. She told me it wasn't anything I did, but I am pretty reluctant in accepting this. She is all I can think about, and I don't know what to do because apparently I didn't do anything wrong(bull). I was thinking about avoiding her for a while and seeing if she would come back to me? any suggestions as to what i should do?
Yes avoid her, To be honest and I don't want to sound mean, but it's pretty early to be having that talk, I think things may have been going a pretty too fast for her liking, even from your post you seem like you are on a different page than she is, and maybe she felt smothered, or rushed. That doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, take her advice and back off, Besides a month is still not enough time to really know someone.
talaniman
Nov 4, 2008, 08:41 AM
This went on for about a month
To much, to fast, crash, and burn. You fell in to deep, to soon, with this stranger, and her feelings just weren't there.
Up to you now to back away, and think about slowly having fun getting to know each other through dating for a while before considering and exclusive RELATIONSHIP.
You can't expect someone to just instantly relate, and feel as you do, so soon after meeting. Next time, slow down.
JBeaucaire
Nov 4, 2008, 10:22 AM
I think it's fair to just believe what you're told sometimes. In the first few weeks of dating couples are usually VERY forgiving of each other's shortcomings, perhaps ignoring them outright. She's not even doing that... that should be very telling.
Just because someone doesn't feel the way you do about them doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. Nor should you suspect there's much you can do to "change their mind". If you two had never dated yet, maybe so. But you have dated. She came in close, took a look around, and decided "I'll pass."
You should listen.
In fact, stop thinking of it as "getting her back" because in truth you two never "had" each other. It was just a short look at each other and now she's moving on. This can be harmless if you let it be.