Hello.
I am having a mental meltdown right now. I am so depressed it is not even funny. I don't know what to do. Here is my story.

Rewind 4 years ago, my mother passed away rather suddenly. I was devastated. I was in my own rental home with my now fiancé. We decided to move in with my father to help him and we did.

I was depressed then, but I had my girl with me to keep me sane. I wanted to help my father during his greiving period, but that actually backfired because he has never respected me in any way. Always putting me down and making me feel worthless. I went through a divorce in 1997, and he has thought poorly of me ever since.

FFW 2 years. When things seemed to be getting out of control, We were going to move out into our own place, but we were living free and since he met another woman, we had our privacy since he was never home. While living there we helped out with bills but he never asked for money, we assumed the house was paid for and he was receiving money from my mothers life insurance. I got nothing from the will, so figured he didn't care that I was at the house taking care of it.

About a year ago I lost my good paying job and had to take whatever I could for work just to stay active. My Fiancé and I started having problems, because my father announces he is selling the house and going to remarry his GF of 2 yrs. This caused problems for us in a big way. We knew the house wasn't going to sell quickly so we just stayed there and kept it up.

This is about the time my panic attacks came back into my life. The first one was the worst because I forgot how I feel right before I get them. I was driving on a pretty dangerous expressway alone, and got really hot. I turned on the airconditioning just to find out that it didn't work. My heart started pumping reallly fast and I got scared that I would have a heart attack and nobody will know because I forgot to bring my phone with me. I started shaking uncontrolably, and pulled over. After deep breaths and a cool breeze I talked myself out of it. Wow, this feels good talking about it. Anyway, they have been with me ever since.

FWD to last month. I haven't worked in months, not even a McDonalds wants to hire me. We are still in the house living off her sole income and even though she doesn't B1tch about it, I can see she is not happy. This is making me extremely depressed because we are best friends and she is the only person I have ever called a best friend. I am trying to snap out of it but find it harder every day. I am losing faith with my existence, wondering, thinking, acting out, drinking seems to be a temporary cure, but it comes back the next day and the cycle continues. Then the ultimate disappointment happens last week.

My father, 2 weeks after getting remarried tells me that since he can't sell the house he is going to rent it out. Not to me, but to his grand daughter (My Godchild) that just got engaged. I have been having anxiety and panic attacks every day since. I tried telling him that I will pay to live here but he pretty much told me to get out, leaving the 2 people that took care of it for 3 years homeless.

OK, this is where I can't cope, no more, I would love to finish but can't thanks for reading

Hello.
I am having a mental meltdown right now. I am so depressed it is not even funny. I don't know what to do. Here is my story.

Rewind 4 years ago, my mother passed away rather suddenly. I was devastated. I was in my own rental home with my now fiance. We decided to move in with my father to help him and we did.

I was depressed then, but I had my girl with me to keep me sane. I wanted to help my father during his greiving period, but that actually backfired because he has never respected me in any way. Always putting me down and making me feel worthless. I went through a divorce in 1997, and he has thought poorly of me ever since.

FFW 2 years. When things seemed to be getting out of control, We were going to move out into our own place, but we were living free and since he met another woman, we had our privacy since he was never home. While living there we helped out with bills but he never asked for money, we assumed the house was paid for and he was recieving money from my mothers life insurance. I got nothing from the will, so figured he didn't care that I was at the house taking care of it.

About a year ago I lost my good paying job and had to take whatever I could for work just to stay active. My Fiance and I started having problems, because my father announces he is selling the house and going to remarry his GF of 2 yrs. This caused problems for us in a big way. We knew the house wasn't going to sell quickly so we just stayed there and kept it up.

This is about the time my panic attacks came back into my life. The first one was the worst because I forgot how I feel right before I get them. I was driving on a pretty dangerous expressway alone, and got really hot. I turned on the airconditioning just to find out that it didn't work. My heart started pumping reallly fast and I got scared that I would have a heart attack and nobody will know because I forgot to bring my phone with me. I started shaking uncontrolably, and pulled over. After deep breaths and a cool breeze I talked myself out of it. Wow, this feels good talking about it. Anyway, they have been with me ever since.

FWD to last month. I haven't worked in months, not even a McDonalds wants to hire me. We are still in the house living off of her sole income and even though she doesn't B1tch about it, I can see she is not happy. This is making me extremly depressed because we are best friends and she is the only person I have ever called a best friend. I am trying to snap out of it but find it harder every day. I am loosing faith with my existance, wondering, thinking, acting out, drinking seems to be a temporary cure, but it comes back the next day and the cycle continues. Then the ultimate disappointment happens last week.

My father, 2 weeks after getting remarried tells me that since he can't sell the house he is going to rent it out. Not to me, but to his grand daughter (My Godchild) that just got engaged. I have been having anxiety and panic attacks every day since. I tried telling him that I will pay to live here but he pretty much told me to get out, leaving the 2 people that took care of it for 3 years homeless.

OK, this is where I can't cope, no more, I would love to finish but can't thanks for reading


Well, I haven't expierienced the death of parents, or income and rent issues like you stated. But I know how it feels to be put down, and to feel like your worthless. But you have to realize that even in the darkest hole there is always a tiny speck of light that is always within your grasp, you just have to believe you can reach it. If you are always focusing on the negatives, DON'T expect things to get better, but if you say to yourself "Hey I WILL get out of this, and I'll take those who are going through the same thing with me" you'll climb out of the hole.

And about those anxiety/panic attacks you've been having... I went through the same thing a couple months ago, where all the little things affected me, and I felt like I could drop dead any second. You have to find some sort of DAILY therapy for yourself and help others find their own too. Whether it'd be art, music, poetry, or just writing down or telling people how you feel. Heck, even martial arts could make you feel better. If you want to solve your problems, you have to get rid of the anxiety and panic attacks first. Then work your way up from there. It may take awhile, but do this and it will most likely help. I strongly feel like it will.

And about your girl, tell her that you need to support each other through this as one person. Mentally and Emotionally. You understand? You and her together. Tell her we WILL make it through this, and keep a positive attitude and mentality towards it. And if you think you got it bad, just remember there is always some out there who has got it a lot worse than you. I'll keep you and your loved ones in mind.

Much Peace and Blessings!

P.S. Keep these four quotes in mind:

"Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.”- Napoleon Hill

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other”-Walter Elliot

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.”-Robert Frost

“A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.” Elbert Hubbard

You have to *take action* to help yourself so you don't have mental health symptpms.

First, you have to get a job, at least one job, preferably two. There is no alternative.

It would be good for you to go to AA and get a new circle of friends who have contacts etc.

Good Luck!

Hi.. my heart goes out to you. I have lost my dad. Seems just yesterday but its been almost 9 years. It was hard. But life does go on. You have to refocus. If your father doesn't treat you as you would like. There isn't much you can do about that. He has his issues even if they aren't good ones. You have your daughter and yourself now. Self esteem is very important. I went through two marriages. Search for self help and put out a huge effort on building YOU up. You are important for yourself and your child. There are groups out there that are free to join they will help with encouragement. As for a job it would be awsome if you could get one. It would help build yourself esteem and give you money to live better. Soon you will find you are strong and the depression is lifted. Find your strength. It is there just waiting to come out! I have pulled myself out of the depression. Its not easy, fact is its hard work. But you can do it. Believe that you can do it. Focus on having good thoughts. Every time a negative thought comes in force it out and replace it with a positive one. I wish you well.

,Snap out of this, what goes up will come down, My heart goes out to you I can relate I got sick lost a job making $56,000 per yr ,lost my beautiful home I thought I had it all together ,Hell I had I going on:rolleyes:. Well God knows what best for us. Sometimes he puts things in our life to slow us down, he lets us and others create our own situations ,it is up to us to take heed and resolve our problems. But the majority of the time we don't listen to him. YOU just bumped your head :( Keep your faith God will show you the way, He may not be there when you think you need him but he will be there on time. Don't worry so much about your father or that house God has a plan for him you never know he just might need to stay with you oneday:rolleyes: