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View Full Version : Ex's Best Friend


12402
Oct 22, 2008, 06:03 PM
I have a problem... So my ex and I split about 2 months ago. It was pretty mutual. We both know we stayed together way longer than we should.

So we share the same friends, one in particular. We both met him separately. We both stopped talking to him for a while until he popped back into our lives. He became my good friend and my ex's best friend and now just good friend. So, what happened was that I was attracted to him... I had a crush on him while I was still with my ex. The friend also felt the same though I didn't know that at the time. Me and him have been talking a lot more since the break up. We've always flirted, and I thought it was harmless except a few days ago it went some place I never thought it would. He revealed that he had always had a crush on me and that he didn't do anything about it because I was with my ex, but now that I'm not with him anymore, he wanted to do something about it.

Problem = He has a girlfriend now... but he's in an open relationship so he's allowed to see other people. So I said OK, we'd give it a try except that we're friends and we both like being friends and I don't want anyone getting hurt. I'm not sure how much I really like him and I don't want him to fall for me or anything like that and then have our friendship be ruined. So we talked about this and he said he didn't want to hurt me either, but that he was willing to go for it because of how long it's been that he's liked me. It's been 3 years.

So we were supposed to get together last weekend, but that didn't work out for various reasons. Then I had an incident and had to go to the hospital. My friend was with me and didn't know who else to call because I have no family around, so she called my ex. He came to see me. I told my friend this. After that day, we went from talking a good amount to barely talking at all. It's weird now and if we do talk, it's short and to the point. Definitely not the same as before. I don't understand what happened. I want to ask if something is wrong... not because of the whole crush thing, but just because we were friends to begin with and I don't want to lose the friendship. Should I give him a few days and see what happens?

NItEMArE129
Oct 22, 2008, 06:42 PM
First of all, don't feel guilty. You and your "crush" friend (as I will refer to him in this post for clarity) weren't actually together yet. You guys had no STRONG obligations, so don't feel guilty.

Second, your "crush friend" might have gotten a wrong version of the story. Make sure that he knows that you had no alternative but for your ex to come take care of you, and let him know that it didn't mean anything more than that you're still friends with your ex IF AND ONLY IF this is true.

Third, it depends on what kind of person your "crush friend" is like. If he, when he hears about something, will stick to that belief VERY strongly you may want to wait a few days. However, if he's very reserved in his opinions, you might have a better chance of coming straight out and telling him. And honestly, if you don't know what he's like after knowing him for 3 years, put off a relationship until you actually know who he is.

silent27
Oct 24, 2008, 06:29 PM
Here's the way I look at it he just wants to get in your pants because he has wanted that for a long time now if he got that already he's going to ignore you or maybe want to do you a couple of more times and then ignore you again because he knows you were with this other guy that was with you so he just wants to make you feel as bad as he did when you were with your ex,think about it if I were you ,I would want to know if a guy really likes you buy teating him with one of your girlfriends and see what he says or does. Fail proof!!